The Killer Rabbit

[Neonbob]

I sharpen all the dvds, give the set to the rabbit, and when it goes to put them in the DVD player, the edges cut it so deeply, it bleeds to death.

Next Weapon: A strip of velcro.

 

[Timewave Zero]

I continually velcro the rabbits head while he's strapped to a metal table until his fur and skin come off revealing the shiny clean bone of his skull which I continue to velcro into oblivion. Then, when he's nearly dead, I velcro his brain. Then I eat him.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I use the _____ to chop his head off. Which is very hard as it's nothing.

Next Weapon: Another killer rabbit.

 

[Neonbob]

I leave the two alone, then hit them both with a claymore.

Next Weapon: A cloud.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I use the cloud to sneak up on the rabbit, before punching it to death.

Next weapon: A bottle of champagne.

 

[Neonbob]

I christen the rabbit's head with it. The massive head trauma kills it.

Next Weapon: A punching pen.

 

[Timewave Zero]

(Sorry for not putting anything on my last post! I was most likely very tired. Everythings all hazy...)

I use the punching pen to...punch him to death? Is that what they do? Then I eat him. Mmmyep.

Next weapon: The Angry Videogame Nerd.

 

[Neonbob]

I use him as a battering ram, and splatter the rabbit all over his head.

Next Weapon: A Rubber Spike.

 

[Timewave Zero]

In the dead of night, I kidnap the rabbit from his swanky New York apartment, take him to an abandoned gold-mine in Nevada, tie him to a chair, force him to watch Hostel 1 and 2, and all the Saw movies (I've lost count of them now) and all the other torture-porn movies out there. Then I jump out from the shadows, brandishing the rubber spike which he doesn't know is rubber and I nearly shove it in his eye. Terrified I am going to spike him, I taunt him with the spike, by stabbing other things repeatedly with a spike whilst mocking him about his puny-ness and that I will peirce a hole the size of God in him with the spike (I substitute the rubber spike with a real one to fool him) and then I recite the entire works of Shakespeare, but by the time this is all over, the police have found us. I hide behind a rock with my Nuclear Assault Rifle (copyrighted by me!) and an exciting shoot-out in the gold-mine occurs, with lots of explosions and one-liners. Eventually, I win, but assembled military forces of the United Nations has been called in, so I need to escape, but before I do, I run over to the rabbit, gore him to death with the spike and I eat his remains. Then the movie comes out.

Next weapon: A random object.

 

[Neonbob]

I tell the rabbit that it is a good substitute for food, the rabbit eats it, and forgets about it. However, during the night, the random object turns into a giant anvil, and explodes the rabbit from inside.

Next Weapon: A Wii controller.

 

[Timewave Zero]

I stand the rabbit between me and the television, at which point I proceed to play a violent Wii game that involves lots of waving of the controller. After a while, I get tired, as the controller hasn't slipped out of my hand and hit the rabbit. Frustrated at this, I go and beat the rabbit to death with it, then return it to the GameStop I bought it in, saying it doens't work and get my money back.
Also, I ate the rabbit's remains.

Next weapon: Cannibal Corpse (the band).

 

[Neonbob]

I make the rabbit listen to the band. After thirty seconds, it kills itself to escape the thing.

Next Weapon: A hotel.

 

[Timewave Zero]

Unfortunately for the Rabbit, this hotel is Fawlty Towers. Chaos ensues, the rabbit is beaten several times by Basil, then taken, boiled, vomited up and then cooked again by Manuel who offers it to Satan. Didn't you know Manuel was a Satanist? Joke...

Next weapon: Barack Obama.

 

[Neonbob]

I tell the president that the rabbit is being insensitive, and he goes into a long tirade/speech on the effects of insensitivity directed at the rabbit. While the creature is distracted, I come up behind it with a bat and stab the rabbit with it.

Next Weapon: a salad.

 

[Timewave Zero]

I simply take the salad and do unspeakable things to the rabbit.
Use your imagination.

Next weapon: Porn.

 

[Neonbob]

I introduce the rabbit to a very good site, and after three months, I come back to find that is has died in its chair after losing the will to move.

Next Weapon: An Extension Cord

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I plug a TV into the extension cord and force the rabbit to watch Uwe Boll films. He kills himself.

Next Weapon: The report button

 

[Neonbob]

I lure the rabbit into a troll post, and the community hits the report button so much that the rabbit is somehow smashed into oblivion.

Next Weapon: A microphone.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I start singing. The rabbit jumps off a cliff as a result.

Next weapon: Some random guy called Jim

 

[Neonbob]

The random guy has a random shotgun, which I steal and shoot Jim with. Then I poison his corpse and feed it to the rabbit.

Next Weapon: A collection of toenail clippings.