The most horrific thing that has happened to your nobler parts

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CharrHearted

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I broke up with my ex once and she gave a very strong kick in the balls using steel toecap boots, I was downed for about a week.
 

Jonluw

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Ekonk said:
The all to famous knee.

Man did that hurt. Gaahhhhh I don't wanna think about it.


Also, how the fuck is it possible that we have two people saying that a girl bit them? Is this a common thing?
My guess is that they had a fight, and that the make-up sex included fellatio. Then the guy probably said something stupid.
 

Monkfish Acc.

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When I was thirteen my sister got annoyed at me and drove a high heel into them.
She was pretty drugged out at the time and she's always been kind of a *****. Still, pretty big dick move, even for her.
It kind of really hurt a lot.
 

Bernzz

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Lawyer105 said:
Bernzz said:
Stood with my legs either side of a skinny makeshift see-saw. Mate of mine jumped from a tree on the other side. My side comes flying up. Wham. Ouch.
Was that deliberate or just plain unlucky???
Oh, it was unlucky. He apologised profusely once I doubled over and fell to the ground.

EDIT:
Astoria said:
While this may be true there is the whole 'if I go through this I'll have another child' thing whereas there isn't really any benefits to getting a kick to the nuts so women aren't going through the pain for nothing.
There's a benefit to more children? Are you insane?!
 

Desji

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Once i was out drinking with my friends and noticed during the night that I could not pee though i felt a strong urge to do so. This got progressively worse till at 5 in the night my stomach was swollen to pregnancy-esque size and I was in alot of pain. I rush to the hospital where they scan my bladder to find that it has over about 800ml of pee in it that for some reason cannot get out. So they decide to foley catheder me

IE. STICK A PLASTIC TUBE DOWN MY PENIS.

Now I have heard of this practise before and thought it would be some nasty shit to go through but being still very drunk and in pain i of course agree to the catheder.

Now the nurse fearing that i might go into renal failure if more urine is allowed to build up doesn't have time to wait for the sedative to work so she just jams that ************ down there (this is where the fun starts) - suddenly ALOT of dark nasty blood starts pulsing out of my penis much to the distress of the nurse who runs for a doctor who discovers that the reason that i couldn't pee was that my urethra had scar tissue in it (probably from being socked in the nuts at some other occasion) and that the foley catheder has:

PIERCED THE URETHRA!

Now desperate to prevent renal failure they attempt the catheder procedure 3 more times with different sized catheders increaseing the bleeding every time untill i am practically soaked in blood - at this point the sedative is finally beginnning to kick in - relaxing my muscles to the point where i am able to painfully pee a little (with chunks of coagulated blood comming out too). Considering renal failure now tempoarily avoided they rush me with ambulance to a uroligical special department on another hospital where they attempt (unsuccesfully) to catheder me 4 more times. Since they cannot get the catheder to work, they want me to go to another department and be submitted for gettting a catheder inserted through the stomach. As I'm walking to the other department after 5-6 hours of getting my dick molested while being drunk and not having anything to eat or drink, I pass out in the hallway.

The next day i wake up in a hospital bed scheduled for surgery where they stuff a camera and a scalpel down your urethra and cut away the scar tissue that is causing the block. The surgery is succesful, a foley catheder is finally inserted and i walk around with a catheder in for 14 days while my penis heals.

Since the nerves in my penis seem to have suffered some damage making sex feel like less. On the bright side I will never have problems with premature ejaculation as it usually takes me about half an hour.

Worst thing that EVER happened to me :)
 

anthony87

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Hmm....my cat jammed it's claws into by balls while I was wearing only underwear.

Wasn't paying attention one time and caught a piece of my sack while I was having a trim.

Those are the first two that come to mind.
 

Mechsoap

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Bernzz said:
Lawyer105 said:
Bernzz said:
Stood with my legs either side of a skinny makeshift see-saw. Mate of mine jumped from a tree on the other side. My side comes flying up. Wham. Ouch.
Was that deliberate or just plain unlucky???
Oh, it was unlucky. He apologised profusely once I doubled over and fell to the ground.

EDIT:
Astoria said:
While this may be true there is the whole 'if I go through this I'll have another child' thing whereas there isn't really any benefits to getting a kick to the nuts so women aren't going through the pain for nothing.
There's a benefit to more children? Are you insane?!
Beside from greater number of humans in the case of an alien war?
 

Astoria

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Bernzz said:
While this may be true there is the whole 'if I go through this I'll have another child' thing whereas there isn't really any benefits to getting a kick to the nuts so women aren't going through the pain for nothing.
There's a benefit to more children? Are you insane?!

Haha well I don't see it but obviously some do cuz they go back for more :p
 

Decy19

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Well one time me and some friends were playing football (American) and i was running... he ran into me grabbed the football while kicking me in the nuts.
 
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Astoria said:
While this may be true there is the whole 'if I go through this I'll have another child' thing whereas there isn't really any benefits to getting a kick to the nuts so women aren't going through the pain for nothing.
Well, yeah, but that's being serious. It's also true that some guys get their kicks from being, well, kicked, but bringing that up would have invalidated my point even further.
 

endnuen

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The branch I was on broke, causing be to plummet down the tree, taking out 4 other branches with my crotch.
I cried a little.
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

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A massive urinary tract infection. Not really reproductive organs solely, but I couldn't pee without grunting and biting down on a face cloth.
 

Astoria

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Grouchy Imp said:
Astoria said:
While this may be true there is the whole 'if I go through this I'll have another child' thing whereas there isn't really any benefits to getting a kick to the nuts so women aren't going through the pain for nothing.
Well, yeah, but that's being serious. It's also true that some guys get their kicks from being, well, kicked, but bringing that up would have invalidated my point even further.
...they do? Umm...*backs away slowly*
 

Jonluw

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Desji said:

[sub]I actually wanted to post one of those images of a penis saying "I am shocked and appalled", but I figure the escapist might frown upon that.[/sub]
 

Usurpurus

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While nothing too terrible has actually happened to mine, I knew someone who was playing rugby (similarish to american football) and his leg got dislocated. Some medic person popped it back in...without checking if a nut was in the socket...
The guy strained a vocal cord or something like that afterwards.
 

Bernzz

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Mechsoap said:
Beside from greater number of humans in the case of an alien war?
If you're thinking along my lines...

The children are sent first, as the meatshield wave, as we ready our weapons behind them...
Then I agree with you, good sir/madam.
 

Mechsoap

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Bernzz said:
Mechsoap said:
Beside from greater number of humans in the case of an alien war?
If you're thinking along my lines...

The children are sent first, as the meatshield wave, as we ready our weapons behind them...
Then I agree with you, good sir/madam.
i was more thinking of them as growing up into soldiers.