The most useless advice ever given to you.
- Thread starter Segadroid
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"Don't have a jalepeno eating contest while you're drunk"
Given to me by my dad, and I have always been extremely wary of having one because I'm pretty sure a hole will tear in the universe.
Given to me by my dad, and I have always been extremely wary of having one because I'm pretty sure a hole will tear in the universe.
Had clinical depression for the first fourteen years of my life. It caused more than just a few botched suicide attempts (not the cry for attention type where I'm half-assing them, either, I mean the kind that only really bad fucking luck can stop, like a gun misfiring on the only bullet I'd bothered to bring).3nimac said:You have obviously never been depressed. It makes you not want to live, you cant possibly 'treat' that with sports. Ever.esperandote said:
Though i did eat healthy.
Got better with that exact advice, with no help from medication or therapy. Your aunt isn't full of shit, it's good advice. Just started going for walks (eventually running) and checking the labels on the shit I eat, and everything got much, much better.
"There's not such word as 'cant' "
My teachers in primary school said this all the time - and they also taught English which is a rather scary thought.
Not trying to incite a religious war of words, but half of what the Christians said to me at school (went to Roman Catholic school) was absolute insanity:
"I don't believe in God."
"But he believes in you!" - this isn't some clever reversal of words, I'm proven to exist, I am talking with you, how would an imaginary person believing in me make things better? Not advice I guess, but still darned annoying.
"Remember to always be yourself." Followed five minutes later by "Oh why can't you just act normally!". I'll leave you guys to figure that out.
My teachers in primary school said this all the time - and they also taught English which is a rather scary thought.
Not trying to incite a religious war of words, but half of what the Christians said to me at school (went to Roman Catholic school) was absolute insanity:
"I don't believe in God."
"But he believes in you!" - this isn't some clever reversal of words, I'm proven to exist, I am talking with you, how would an imaginary person believing in me make things better? Not advice I guess, but still darned annoying.
"Remember to always be yourself." Followed five minutes later by "Oh why can't you just act normally!". I'll leave you guys to figure that out.
"Just tell the teacher"
Works better if you just chip a small portion of their eye socket out. It feels better too.
Or
"God is everywhere"
Was he there for all 14 of my broken bones and 2 near death accidents? Yeah fuck off. I went through 11 damn years of catholic school too.
Oh and my Year 8 head of year - "Choices and consequences". Well fuck me aren't you the genius.
Works better if you just chip a small portion of their eye socket out. It feels better too.
Or
"God is everywhere"
Was he there for all 14 of my broken bones and 2 near death accidents? Yeah fuck off. I went through 11 damn years of catholic school too.
Oh and my Year 8 head of year - "Choices and consequences". Well fuck me aren't you the genius.
Static shocks can be thousands of volts, but don't kill because there's very little current. It's the current, the amount of electricity, that kills you, and it depends how it enters your body. Through dry skin the voltage has to be really high to get enough current across your heart to make it fibrillate. With AC power that can be 60mA or higher, with DC 400mA (approx.) or more.Segadroid said:Electrocution isn't lethal under 80 volts(I got 75 volts on me)tharwen said:
I heard of a kid that killed himself with a multimeter, having jammed the sharp tips into each thumb. This put just enough charge through his bloodstream to make his heart fibrillate.
This is why seasoned old electricians and engineers will tell you never to touch the live circuits of a device or powered cabinet with both hands. With one hand on the casing and the other on a live circuit, your chest can become the short to ground, and you end up dead. When touching with one hand, if you do become ground at least it goes down one side of your body only, not across the heart.
"Look on the bright side." Of what, a traffic accident? My car dying for the fourth time in a row? My cat dying (if I had a cat)? Well at least I won't have to drive Fluffy to the vet because my car's borked and the cat's six feet under.
"Don't be a buzzkill." Sure, I'll totally get in your truck while you're half gone on SoCo.
"Just be yourself." If that was working I'd have a Rolls Royce, a diamond-studded pimp cane, and a little black book with lots of numbers of very attractive mothers (and their daughters) in it. I have none of these things.
Yeah, I know this is the cell phone age. If I was that good though, I'd keep a little black book just because.
"Don't be a buzzkill." Sure, I'll totally get in your truck while you're half gone on SoCo.
"Just be yourself." If that was working I'd have a Rolls Royce, a diamond-studded pimp cane, and a little black book with lots of numbers of very attractive mothers (and their daughters) in it. I have none of these things.
Yeah, I know this is the cell phone age. If I was that good though, I'd keep a little black book just because.
When I was getting divorced a mate asked me "So how are you going?"
I replied, "Oh. Yeah. Not good."
He then said, "You'll be right mate!"
Whacked me on the shoulder.
And walked off.
*facepalm*
Other ones like:
"The only way you'll ever go anywhere in life is by making the right decisions in high school and going to uni."
"Marriage is forever." (Ok. Perhaps I am a little jaded.)
When someone says "Just be yourself." Like they know what they're talking about. It's all well and good to say it, but no one actually tells you how . And the hard bit is working it out without help. (Self help books are a really good start. ie: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.)
I replied, "Oh. Yeah. Not good."
He then said, "You'll be right mate!"
Whacked me on the shoulder.
And walked off.
*facepalm*
Other ones like:
"The only way you'll ever go anywhere in life is by making the right decisions in high school and going to uni."
"Marriage is forever." (Ok. Perhaps I am a little jaded.)
When someone says "Just be yourself." Like they know what they're talking about. It's all well and good to say it, but no one actually tells you how . And the hard bit is working it out without help. (Self help books are a really good start. ie: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.)
"Don't let yourself stoop to his level."
After being challenged to various fights or verbally provoked in some way
Almost always I have felt awesome when I just hit the guy instead of taking the moral high horse back home to grow resentful and angry and unsatisfied with the conclusion to the conflict, and there is no great story to tell.
No jail time though, which is always a bonus I guess, but stooping to other peoples level is fun.
After being challenged to various fights or verbally provoked in some way
Almost always I have felt awesome when I just hit the guy instead of taking the moral high horse back home to grow resentful and angry and unsatisfied with the conclusion to the conflict, and there is no great story to tell.
No jail time though, which is always a bonus I guess, but stooping to other peoples level is fun.
"just stop liking him"
I resent people who think we can be rational and control our emotions, we are not all lawyers and vulcans.
I resent people who think we can be rational and control our emotions, we are not all lawyers and vulcans.