The old belt (Parents using violence to correct you)

[marioandsonic]

While I certainly don't believe you should beat your kids, there are a few situations where it wouldn't be a bad idea to give them a swift kick in the butt.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

For example, I remember being a young child, maybe 6 or 7, and I started to run into the road to get a ball or something. Before I had taken one step into the road, I was jerked back, spun around, with my mom's face about an inch from mine. " If I EVER, catch you running into the road, you won't be able to sit down for a week!" The sheer intensity and the fact that I knew she was capable of making good on her threat kept me from running into the road until I was old enough to have permission to do so.

Wow, are you sure we aren't twins? Because that is the exact thing that happened to me. Only thing is, I didn't get a warning. Ouch.

OT: It helps against children when they are behiving poorly. Most adults can be reasoned with. Children, on the other hand, cannot.

Because I was spanked for crossing the street without permission, I learned that that was not the thing to do. I learned to behave, and I was rarely spanked.

Besides, I have seen children in public who really need the belt. I am referring to one who ran up to me, because her parent would not buy her candy, and kicked me in the shins. For no reason other than the fact that I was standing there, and she was angry. It really hurt. And the parent?s response was to say that now she wasn?t getting the candy for a week.

Also, I am never having children.

 

[Hatchet90]

Everyone here who says violence towards children leads to problems is full of it. Now there is a difference between child abuse and discipline, I understand that. Sometimes it can go too far. I was harshly disciplined when I was a kid and because of it I understand that actions have consequences and that my parents are my superiors, not just two people living under the same roof that I am. Grounding and time-outs don't do a damn thing. Have you seen kids these days? They're all self-entitled little mongrels who have no concept of authority.

 

[Sparkytheyetti]

Their is a difference between punishment and abuse. If you don't know the line, you shouldn't even be a parent.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Guess that I must agree that "the old belt" tehnique worked.

All of my childhood from when I was 5 'till now I have grown up without a dad or father figure that would hit me/punish me if I was disrespecful,mean or didn't do my homework.So I grew up to be quite spoiled to a certain degree.Now that is all said and done I wished I had someone to put me in my place so I would know the value of money.

 

[Zeema]

Its quick, its effective and it works.
Not hitting your kids just turns them into spoiled little cunts who think they are invincible.
If you love your kids, beat them.

[Gives hobo Steve 'Cabbage Medal']

I agree

and there are way to many dero kids anyway

 

[jakefongloo]

Reading through the different comments it amazes me how many people are ABSOLUTLY CERTAIN that spanking/hitting/beating your kids (or not) will lead to this spacific identity of the child.

Human development is what I understand to be one of the most impossible things to understand.
two children who have the same EXACT (i would underline that but i know not how) upbringing could become two very different people. One is proud, a little slow, but with a self-confidence that infects those around him while the other is a mensa genius, however surly and avoids human contact when possible.

The thoughts we are having during a situation affect its effect on yourself. How in the world could science do anything other than just point out what most likely will happen.

 

[alandavidson]

Find what discipline works for your child, and then be consistent about it. But NEVER, NEVER spank your child in anger.

 

[Grimlock Fett]

I was smacked as a kid (If I did something I was told not to) and I turned out fine! A smack is fine! Closed fist and excessive violence is obviously either going to kill or create messed up kids! Be it that they become shut ins or rage addicts who think that snapping and going mental is the appropriate response in any situation they don't like! Fear taught me how to act right! Sure you cant smack everyone with the same brush but most of the children I know who don't have at least a little bit of fear of punishment are little c*nts who Id like to kick square in the ass!!!

 

[snowpuppy]

There's a difference between violence and discipline. When children are young and want to be defiant you need to show them who's in charge and the only method their growing minds can understand is force. I'm all for whippings, my mother didn't use a belt though; she used a plastic paint stirrer.

Mine, a wooden paint stirrer. and I love them for it knowing how some turn out.

 

[Cobelo]

SillyBear, you are coming in, thumping a 'parents guide', that doesn't exist. There is no supreme uber parents guide that can be used for all children, and all situations. That doesn't exist, *can't* exist.

I never even suggested that there was. I was offering evidence that shows clearly that hitting a child isn't a smart thing to do. They countered this with illogical nonsense.

I think it's a shame you are telling me to shut up, when I am advocating that people don't hit small children and I have provided solid, sound evidence from well respected sources. But whatever.

I see what you are trying to say with this, SillyBear, but there is one critical problem you do not seem to realize: You lack a certain amount of personal experience with children. This isn't to say that you don't have any experience at all, just to imply that you don't have enough experience. I will give you a personal example.

I have two older siblings and five younger stepsiblings. My older siblings and I were raised with sparse, but well-timed, spankings, or a smack upside the head, what-have-you. The older end of my siblings are all perfectly fine people, us three are all mild-mannered, not prone to violence.

However, my younger siblings are what i brashly refer to as 'demon children'. Their mother (they live with her and not my stepdad and mom) has never hit them, always takes the time-out and talk route instead of a swat on the arse. Now, they are currently not allowed to stay at our house at all, for the sole fact that all of them, even the one a year younger than i (I'm just short of 18) have a penchant for acting up, breaking things, hitting each other, being disrespectful to my family, etc, etc. and i see these things happening at their mother's home as well. I had to confiscate shurikens from my 'eldest' younger brother because he thought using a door for target practice was a good idea. These traits just get larger and larger with age. Again, i'm not saying you don't have experience, just that you may not have as much, or your child may be surprisingly compliant.

Tl;dr, my personal experience tells me that a well-deserved swat on the arse once in a while is definitely not a bad thing, and i encourage it wholeheartedly.

 

[Jonabob87]

I hate to see when kids get hit on or beat or abused. I never let my parents touch me, my dad did on occasion but he hated to do so and when he tried. Why do people let kids get beat up on, that only teaches them to cower in fear and think that you should always submit to authority. I know when a child does something really dumb but honestly I think they should learn from experience and you should offer guidance. I don't think you should ever lay a hand on someone who is a minor. There is nothing wrong with messing around with your kids wrestling and rolling around and accidents happen but what I'm stressing is that violence should never be used on kids as a solution to a problem that could be fixed in less harmful ways.
How do you guys feel about using physical punishment against kids or having physical punishment being inflicted upon you?


Edit: Sorry about this I am trying to say that beating as a first response. By beating I mean a punishment that is meant to cause pain. I'm not against physical contact that is just meant to teach something. I just think physical violence with intent to hurt should never be used. And regular physical punishment should never be used until the child repeats the same thing over and over again.

That depends what "physical punishment" is being used. People have beaten children to death fits of rage that could classed as "physical punishment".

My family do the whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" routine, but these methods don't work on some children. When I was a child I needed a good hard slap at times and it did me good, but my wife has only been punished "physically" once, pretty lightly, and she found it borderline traumatising. So these things have to fit the individual.

In the end I think certain children have to be reminded "I'm bigger and stronger than you, and I wont let you away with bad behaviour" but the punishment has to fit both the crime and the child.

 

[SillyBear]

Snip

My mother died just after childbirth with my two younger siblings. I was the only female influence in their life and I played a huge role in raising them. I also have a three year old son.

So please stop lecturing me claiming I don't have enough experience. You look a bit silly saying that. You don't know anything about me.

Besides, you can argue using awful anecdotes and whatever the hell you want all day, it doesn't change the fact is that there are dozens of pieces reliable and valid scientific evidence to clearly show hitting your children doesn't work. These pieces of evidence come from virtually every Western pediatric association, ranging from Europe, the USA and Australia. The evidence is irrefutable.

An estimated 40-50% of parents never hit their children. So don't try to convince me that all parents do it and that the reason they don't is due to lack of experience. Once again, you look pretty silly saying that too.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

i love how people here think they can sit down and have a deep conversation with a 4 year old about what they did wrong. Also the whole grounding thing seems pretty dumb to me too, im so glad i never got grounded. weeks or months as punishment for one thing? nah thats dumb.

Just a quick slap on the bottom, its not the end of the world. my parents smacked me, though they stopped when i got to highschool

 

[Jonabob87]

Snip

My mother died just after childbirth with my two younger siblings. I was the only female influence in their life and I played a huge role in raising them. I also have a three year old son.

So please stop lecturing me claiming I don't have enough experience. You look a bit silly saying that. You don't know anything about me.

Besides, you can argue using awful anecdotes and whatever the hell you want all day, it doesn't change the fact is that there are dozens of pieces reliable and valid scientific evidence to clearly show hitting your children doesn't work. These pieces of evidence come from virtually every Western pediatric association, ranging from Europe, the USA and Australia. The evidence is irrefutable.

An estimated 40-50% of parents never hit their children. So don't try to convince me that all parents do it and that the reason they don't is due to lack of experience. Once again, you look pretty silly saying that too.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6974059.ece One that states the opposite, although I stick with my belief that different methods work for different children.

 

[ThisIsFiveEighteen]

I punched my mom once when I was two. She stood up calmly, walked into the kitchen, grabbed a wooden spoon out of a drawer, and struck me once as hard as imaginable. She took the spoon, set it on top of the fridge where I could see it from the living room, and whenever I'd get sassy from then on, she'd point to the spoon on the fridge. She never had to strike me again.

 

[SillyBear]

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6974059.ece One that states the opposite, although I stick with my belief that different methods work for different children.

The problem is, that study lacks the scope of the ones I linked earlier. It's interesting, but I don't think you can take much from it. I'll take the word of:

The American Psychological Association claims that corporal punishment is violent and unnecessary, may lower self-esteem, and is liable to instill hostility and rage without reducing the undesired behavior.

The Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health and the Royal College of Psychiatrists have both called for a complete ban on all corporal punishment, stating, "We believe it is both wrong and impracticable to seek to define acceptable forms of corporal punishment of children. Such an exercise is unjust. Hitting children is a lesson in bad behavior". And that "it is never appropriate to hit or beat children".

The Australian Psychological Society holds that physical punishment of children should not be used as it has very limited capacity to deter unwanted behavior, does not teach alternative desirable behavior, often promotes further undesirable behaviors such as defiance and attachment to "delinquent" peer groups, and encourages an acceptance of aggression and violence as acceptable responses to conflicts and problems.

A 2003 review of available research into parental punishment concluded, "Strong evidence exists that the use of physical punishment has a number of inherent risks regarding the physical and mental health and well-being of children".
http://www.jpedhc.org/article/S0891-5245%2802%2988318-3/abstract

A 2008 study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that mothers who reported spanking their children were more likely (6% vs 2%) to also report using forms of punishment considered abusive to the researchers "such as beating, burning, kicking, hitting with an object somewhere other than the buttocks, or shaking a child less than 2 years old" than mothers who did not report spanking, and increases in the frequency of spanking were statistically correlated with increased odds of abuse.
http://www.ajpm-online.net/article/S0749-3797%2808%2900600-4/abstract

Stronger than I take the word of one person.

Sorry.