The old belt (Parents using violence to correct you)
- Thread starter theloneassassin
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So many ignorant people out there seem to forget about discipline, and frankly it is a way of life that is dying. My father beat me ONCE! and that is when I was being a little shit and threw a hard plastic flashlight at my sick sleeping brothers head. He had only one thing to do, and that was to enforce physical dominance with a swift stroke of the hand across my ass cheeck, telling me one thing, "What the hell were you thinking when you harmed your brother?!". A child who gets away with throwing a flightlight at his brothers head, and only gets a 'stern' talking too of "now you know chase... that wasn't fair too your brother that you threw that flashlight, he doesn't feel that great that you threw it... m'kay". The parent who did not show phsyical dominance at a younger age, has shown that they are not worthy of any respect, and thus cannot crontrol the individual in general (This is because at such a young age, children will only ever understand the pysical aspect of life, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying about just how smart children are, I know because I WAS ONE).
In short? Discipline is needed when its needed, and I won't have an unrespected parent who can't handle their own children tell me otherwise! The only way that they could ever control their children is use of mental trauma or use of hormones to keep the child more calm (Which is extreme but you would have to be one sick bastard to try and use that method), now which is more worse for the child over all OP? The Immidiate Discipline method, which actually has results, and has a better turn out of grown up adults (With the side turn-out of adults who assume it was child abuse because people like you say it was), or the "Talk to their child" Method, which has the largest turnout of twats out there, and god knows we don't want anymore of those.
I am not saying Child Abuse doesn't exist, but don't for a second believe that the Disciplinary Method of raising a child has anything to do with a child abuse. No true parent enjoys hitting their child, for every true parent has what is called unconditional love. They would never be able to harm their loved ones (out of hate) without harming theirselves first.
And just for peoples information, yes, I was raised with the Discplinary Method, and when used correctly, and if the child is smart enough, they only get taught a lesson 'once', so that isn't Child Abuse... I think I have made my case in that regard.
In short? Discipline is needed when its needed, and I won't have an unrespected parent who can't handle their own children tell me otherwise! The only way that they could ever control their children is use of mental trauma or use of hormones to keep the child more calm (Which is extreme but you would have to be one sick bastard to try and use that method), now which is more worse for the child over all OP? The Immidiate Discipline method, which actually has results, and has a better turn out of grown up adults (With the side turn-out of adults who assume it was child abuse because people like you say it was), or the "Talk to their child" Method, which has the largest turnout of twats out there, and god knows we don't want anymore of those.
I am not saying Child Abuse doesn't exist, but don't for a second believe that the Disciplinary Method of raising a child has anything to do with a child abuse. No true parent enjoys hitting their child, for every true parent has what is called unconditional love. They would never be able to harm their loved ones (out of hate) without harming theirselves first.
And just for peoples information, yes, I was raised with the Discplinary Method, and when used correctly, and if the child is smart enough, they only get taught a lesson 'once', so that isn't Child Abuse... I think I have made my case in that regard.
You are getting pretty personal but ill answer your questions. First I think it is funny because "ending the cycle of violence" is implying that I would reflect any of my fathers abuse on my kid is absurd. In my opinion human emotion is to complex to categorize it with a term like that.Choppaduel said:
What I feel for my sister is guilt because I left her there to rot while I got to understand what it was to be happy. Maybe now you will understand why I avoided your question
I was never spanked as a kid but I was always put in time-out. The threat of being spanked put me in line though. And there was one time when I had my mouth washed out with soap, which certainly made an impact from that single time. I'm sure there's some latent psychological reason behind it.
I don't plan on spanking my kids unless all else fails.
I don't plan on spanking my kids unless all else fails.
Violence is wrong. The occasion swat on the behind, however, is okay. I think that when a kid reaches a certain age though, taking things away (such as phones, games, free time) works a lot better than a swatting.
My father was ...kind of abusive. XD;
So when people talk about corporal punishment, my brain twitches a little, if that makes sense.
Needless to say, I'm against violence towards kids.
Though I do agree that children are little shits these days, but I think there are simply better ways to go about correcting their behavior.
I work with kids, I've found that putting the fear of God in 'em is usually enough; stern voice, following through with punishments, generally showing that you ain't backing down for nothing.
So when people talk about corporal punishment, my brain twitches a little, if that makes sense.
Needless to say, I'm against violence towards kids.
Though I do agree that children are little shits these days, but I think there are simply better ways to go about correcting their behavior.
I work with kids, I've found that putting the fear of God in 'em is usually enough; stern voice, following through with punishments, generally showing that you ain't backing down for nothing.
For the most part, if a kid is out of line, at best they should be yelled at and that's it.
If they get cocky, start throwing/breaking shit or mouthing off, then it's either a smack to the face/hand/ass to get a point across.
And at best, I would say the only other instance of 'physical' discipline that is acceptable is a smack on the hand/wrist to warn the kid before they do something stupid, like touching a boiling pot or the stove top bare handed when it's on.
It worked for me when it was necessary, but then again like I said, some kids these days (and myself when I was younger) really respond well to verbal discipline either in the form of threats of punishment/removal of privileges/confinement to a place of boredom and the old 'spanking' isn't necessary these days.
If they get cocky, start throwing/breaking shit or mouthing off, then it's either a smack to the face/hand/ass to get a point across.
And at best, I would say the only other instance of 'physical' discipline that is acceptable is a smack on the hand/wrist to warn the kid before they do something stupid, like touching a boiling pot or the stove top bare handed when it's on.
It worked for me when it was necessary, but then again like I said, some kids these days (and myself when I was younger) really respond well to verbal discipline either in the form of threats of punishment/removal of privileges/confinement to a place of boredom and the old 'spanking' isn't necessary these days.
Very few kids are actually smart. I was brought up with the smack and it meant I very quickly learned what was good and what was bad because my parents exercised their superior power properly and I am a well behaved teenager. My little sister who didn't get the smack after she was 6 or so has learned that her negative action have very little consequence and is a lazy douche who leaves dishes and rubbish all around the house, eats all the ice-cream and chips that are supposed to be shared between the family and will constantly do things without our parents' consent, like inviting friends over or vice-versa which while our parents get very angry at her, there is no major consequence for her and she does it again. Point is, I know that corporal punishment has made me a more responsible well behaved child, and that by not getting it, like many other teenagers, my sister is a complete douchebag. Most children SHOULD recieve corporal punishment (and this is coming from a child myself almost) because it WILL make them a better person all round if done correctly. Of course that's the real issue, it isn't always done correctly.
*facepalm*
This really gets me riled when people think any sort of physical punishment is child abuse. WTF people!!! if you aren't willing to get a bit physical when punishing your kid, they are gonna know it and take advantage.
Threats can be a good use for punishment, but they only work so many times before your kid figures out the bluff. That's when you gotta put the foot down.
FYI I'm a 19 year old autistic kid who had bad anger issues as a young child. You know what my mother did? she smacked me across face saying "I'll knock your teeth out if you keep that up."
Today, I'm doing fine. It's been many years since my mom has be enrage because of me, and I know if I do any thing terrible and stupid, she will skin me alive.
This really gets me riled when people think any sort of physical punishment is child abuse. WTF people!!! if you aren't willing to get a bit physical when punishing your kid, they are gonna know it and take advantage.
Threats can be a good use for punishment, but they only work so many times before your kid figures out the bluff. That's when you gotta put the foot down.
FYI I'm a 19 year old autistic kid who had bad anger issues as a young child. You know what my mother did? she smacked me across face saying "I'll knock your teeth out if you keep that up."
Today, I'm doing fine. It's been many years since my mom has be enrage because of me, and I know if I do any thing terrible and stupid, she will skin me alive.
i got hit by a belt throughout my childhood. i am a firm believer in it. children are little fucking savages(me included), you have to beat it out of them or they will end up going all lord of the flies on each other
Now that I now a little more, I take it all back about the cycle thing and you.lullabykid said:
I wish I could help you deal with the guilt, but I'm no counselor. For what its worth, you have my sympathy.
True enough. My father never used a belt or anything else, but he did spank me a few times. It was rarely used, and when it was it was for special circumstances.Kheapathic said:
Sometimes there is no way to get a kid to stop screaming, shouting, and freaking the freg out in public or what have you. I learned rather quickly what things I really wasn't supposed to do, and that helped guide me to other things that were still not that acceptable. It eventually go to the point where all my father had to do was sit me down and tell me he was disappointed.
Ah, that always got the lump in my throat. That was worse than any spanking, much worse.
I think that what is being avoided talking about here is another kind of abuse: emotional abuse. You can hurt your children in far deeper, more painful ways than a beating. Yes, beatings are horrible. Physical abuse is wrong. A spanking, however, can be necessary. Causing real mental trauma, either in psychological warfare or otherwise, is wrong.
Just my two cents.
I'm against it, but not really against it. I mean I can understand the concept behind it, but some parents just take it way too far. My parents took it way too far, and tried to bribe me with money to pretend like nothing ever happened. I don't really want to go into detail. As a result I grew up despising my parents and I became emotionally jaded. My sister and my brother in law take it way too far too. Their kids are downright terrified of them. I don't want to go into detail with that either. Personally I think that even if you do keep your kids in line, if they have fear or disgust in their eyes when they look at you, you're doing something wrong.
1) Science says that positive punishment, adding pain or unpleasantness, is the least effective form of behavior modification. It is the least likely to stick, it fails to teach respect or responsibility, but rather automota-like obedience in response to a fearful stimuli, and is usually forgotten the moment the punished think they can get away with it. It doesn't teach good behavior, it teaches how to get away with bad behavior. There are situations where it is the only option, but they are extremely rare.
2) I was spanked once as a child. I was a downright goody two-shoes as a child, and I remember that after getting spanked, that was the only time I knowingly and maliciously repeated bad behavior. Sure, I was very young and just a child, but I still had a sense of pride, and I would rather act like a little shit to spite this painful, embarrassing moment, even if it risked getting spanked again. Of course thanks to to getting spanked, I was a lot sneakier and careful about not getting caught. On the other hand, when I had privileges taken away because of bad behavior, I couldn't complain. I understood that if I wanted to get those privileges, there needed to be a mutual respect that I was breaking, and I was a better person for it.
2) I was spanked once as a child. I was a downright goody two-shoes as a child, and I remember that after getting spanked, that was the only time I knowingly and maliciously repeated bad behavior. Sure, I was very young and just a child, but I still had a sense of pride, and I would rather act like a little shit to spite this painful, embarrassing moment, even if it risked getting spanked again. Of course thanks to to getting spanked, I was a lot sneakier and careful about not getting caught. On the other hand, when I had privileges taken away because of bad behavior, I couldn't complain. I understood that if I wanted to get those privileges, there needed to be a mutual respect that I was breaking, and I was a better person for it.