Madgamer13 said:
DoomyMcDoom said:
Madgamer13 said:
*snippage*
Greets!
It would appear that you have discovered the true cost of forcing yourself to think in a certain way for a certain goal and such lies the real problem of becomming a 'jerk' to 'get women'
When you behave in a way that appears more believable to everyone else than your true sense of self, you too may yet believe it yourself! This is the point of the post you have quoted, not that 'girls really do date jerks' but that women will date people who are true.
Note that word I used; True. That word is important, as from what you've described you should have experience in the differences between what you wanted in a woman before you became a 'jerk' and what you wanted in 'women' when you became a 'jerk'
Remember, this is very important, when you shifted your behaviour to display assholish properties, you began to attract ladies who like that sort of behaviour. This is where the ladies looking at this thread will no doubt shake their heads and sigh, since this is as clear as day to them, the differences that exist between women.
Such is the biggest question of all, if a certain type of women became attracted to your assholish qualities, what made you attracted to them in the first place? Were you looking at the individuals you were partnering up with, or were you just seeing something convenient to you?
But none of that really seems to matter, you seem to have been doing the 'jerk = fast ladies' thing for a while now and have paid the price. At least now you'll be able to get a guage of what it is you actually need in a relationship, I can tell with what you've chosen to share on these glorious intertubes.
So, what do you think? How has your outlook on relationships developed since you put on the bad boy face? And, finally, what does this mean for your future?
Well y'see, I was a virgin until the age of 24 because of not being a jerk, I wasn't really a doormat or anything, but I was an agreeable, nice, respectful man, and I couldn't get a date with anyone if my life depended on it, lemme say, I went on maybe 3 dates a decade in that persona, and even then, that was a modification of a modification of a rewrite of a recompilation of my original personality, so I have no idea where I started, like truly started, I've had the ability to essencially rebuild myself as a person, and thus change "Who I am" at will since I was young, still do it today.
Now, as a more jerky guy I went after a variety of types of women, after about the first month I started walking out on, or telling off any woman I couldn't have a decent conversation with, I moved on to the more intelligent crowd, and I found that if I modified my jerkyness with enough cocky humour, and light intellectualism, I could score with ANYONE, I worked at it for quite some time and I got to the point of, meet woman on bus, chat woman up on bus, making out in back of bus. Which I found to be quite nice.
Thing is, I just got tired of trying, I mean the level of energy it requires to be "That guy" that women want, it's tiring as fuck, it was mentally and psychologically exhausting, it was like having straight intellectual, and heavy philosophical debates for days compressed into a few hours.
I now realize that I'm much happier, not caring about it all.
What I learned is, pretty much anyone can be a "ladies' man" if they know how to smooth talk, and crack the right jokes, but, if you are looking for a long term investment, being that guy for longer than a month with any specific person, is tiring as hell, and tends to wear you out fast, meaning I don't care enough about "having someone to be with" if it takes that kind of horrendous energy cost to do so, I would rather just kinda wait around and hope that some day somewhere there's a woman who is actually compatable with me, and just give up on any pretense of caring about the whole thing.
I equate people who are obsessed with being in a relationship, with people who are obsessed with monetary gain, it's a form of "success" as dictated by our society, as such personal satisfaction with one's life, and the idea of "success" are not definitely connected, I am happier not caring about these things, and just enjoying the time I share with the people I enjoy sharing it with, and that's life.
Money, sex, fame, meaningless.
Money is a tool nothing more, there is no reason to amass more than you need to live in relative comfort, sex is fleeting, addictive, and unless it is with the right person, can ruin your life, fame, well, being too well known is a curse more than a blessing, as your reputation goes from being your friend to controlling you, forcing you to maintain an immage, whether you want to or not.
If more people realized this, I mean truly "realised" like accepted these as fact at their core, the world would be a much much better place, for everyone.
I've learned much, yet I know I am still a fool. There is much to learn, and much to experience, but when it comes down to it, I know I am too limited in position, to do much other than shout out into the darkness, hoping someone somewhere will learn from my mistakes, and from my life, that they may find improvement in theirs.
