The Ratings War VI: Aces High - Round 1 (Closed - Judging)

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000Ronald

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I don't think either of you are giving Zombie, Rex, or even Lord Krunk enough credit. Both Zombie and Rex are smart enough and mature enough to remain impartial (and not use the knowledge of their environment to their advantage) and Krunk is smart enough to know that.

Also, this round looks awesome! I'm especially interested in the aftermath of a few of them, the James vs. William Darkes one in particular.
 

Tips_of_Fingers

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000Ronald said:
I don't think either of you are giving Zombie, Rex, or even Lord Krunk enough credit. Both Zombie and Rex are smart enough and mature enough to remain impartial (and not use the knowledge of their environment to their advantage) and Krunk is smart enough to know that.

Also, this round looks awesome! I'm especially interested in the aftermath of a few of them, the James vs. William Darkes one in particular.
Trust is a tenuous thing when expressed over the internet.

However, I would trust them to not give themselves an advantage but I don't think it's possible not to have an advantage if you know things in advance. Simply by knowing certain things before the other players is, in itself, an advantage. Even if they don't plan on using those...things.

Sadly, human nature doesn't always work like that. I'm not attacking Zombie_Fish's integrity or trustworthiness...If it was a close friend - or even ME - who was offered the role of Co-GM, I'd turn it down due to the very reasons I've stated.

At the end of the day, It's Krunk's choice. Maybe if he could explain the kinds of things that the Co-GM would be seeing/in control of, I'd feel a little more comfortable with the idea. I guess if Zombie_Fish never had any control (and never saw) any information regarding the rounds that he was involved in then it wouldn't matter too much.

As I said though, I'd prefer a little more information about the kinds of info he'd have access to before being happy about this.
 

000Ronald

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Tips_of_Fingers said:
Trust is a tenuous thing when expressed over the internet.

However, I would trust them to not give themselves an advantage but I don't think it's possible not to have an advantage if you know things in advance. Simply by knowing certain things before the other players is, in itself, an advantage. Even if they don't plan on using those...things.

Sadly, human nature doesn't always work like that. I'm not attacking Zombie_Fish's integrity or trustworthiness...If it was a close friend - or even ME - who was offered the role of Co-GM, I'd turn it down due to the very reasons I've stated.

At the end of the day, It's Krunk's choice. Maybe if he could explain the kinds of things that the Co-GM would be seeing/in control of, I'd feel a little more comfortable with the idea. I guess if Zombie_Fish never had any control (and never saw) any information regarding the rounds that he was involved in then it wouldn't matter too much.

As I said though, I'd prefer a little more information about the kinds of info he'd have access to before being happy about this.
That is entirely reasonable, and I understand completely.
 

Zombie_Fish

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Tips_of_Fingers said:
I understand what you're talking about, and I know that I won't be able to convince you or anyone else that me, Khedive or some other contestant are trustworthy enough to not use the details we receive to our advantage.

If any of the judges/ some other non-contestant would be up for being a co-GM instead of me then I'm fine with that. It wouldn't even be the first time either that a judge has been co-GM, with Higurashi in RW4. Personally I'm fine with just feeling honoured that Krunk trusts me enough to think about letting me look after information like that. If he does finally decide on offering the role to me then I won't turn it down, but I do understand your concerns.

000Ronald said:
Also, this round looks awesome! I'm especially interested in the aftermath of a few of them, the James vs. William Darkes one in particular.
It's a shame I can't read more pieces featuring William Darke before going into this battle. In particular I would've liked to know more about the Evening Star and how he/ it acts towards authority figures.
 

Tips_of_Fingers

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Zombie_Fish said:
Just so you know, if Krunk does decide to give it to you then I won't harp on about my concerns or tarnish the RP by being a whiny dick. When all is said and done, the RP is primarily about having fun, reading some top-notch stories and helping to develop people's writing styles.

There'll be no grudges harboured by me... = ]
 

Lord Krunk

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With regards to being a Co-GM, It's more about holding a second copy of supplement that they can simply copy/paste if I am not available. That way deadlines can be met regardless of whether I have access to a computer or not.

I haven't decided whether or not I will yet, but if I do I understand others' concern with having contestants read supplementary material and rounds ahead of schedule. I'll deliberate on this in the next couple of weeks.
 

ThreeWords

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Zombie_Fish said:
Lord Krunk said:
Co-GM snip.
I'm fine with being a co-GM.

@ThreeWords: Best of luck! I may be a bit busy over the next few weeks thanks to coursework, but I'm definitely going to try and get something done. Already my mind is a raging torrent [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB6UQXx98KU].
I'm all in favor of creating a better finished piece! Send me questions, and I'll send you answers...
 

NeoAC

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If it's a matter of impartiality and it's just a matter of copypastaing the relevant texts, I can do it if need be. I've got plenty of space on here for storing such things.
 

Lord Krunk

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Block 1 and 2 is now up [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/540.316635-The-Ratings-War-VI-Aces-High-Round-1-1-Entries-Due-Nov-30-1-2-Begins-Nov-23?page=5#13252389], anyone in the Red Block must get their entries in on or before Saturday the 3rd of December.

Any questions or qualms, just send me a PM and I'll get back to you ASAP.
 

JoJo

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Nice, time to get my thinking-cap and get working on this story, good luck @Doc Gnosis: if you have any questions you want to ask me about my character just drop me a PM or something ;-)
 

Doc Gnosis

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@JoJoDeathunter: Thanks. Same for my character. I'd be glad to answer whatever you have in mind.
 

000Ronald

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Am I first? Really? That makes me kind of anxious, actually; I'd hate to have to be the bar everyone else is measured against.

Soneyo, Roland, and Issac suddenly found themselves in a large, dank corridor, lit only by small torches along either wall; either way the path stretched so far either way that no amount of light could fight the darkness off.

"Where are we?" Roland asked, looking around. He was standing just a few feet behind Soneyo, who was facing Issac.

"A mine." Soneyo and Issac said in unison.

"You were a miner?" Issac asked.

"No." Soneyo said. "But there are very few places better to hide."

"You're a cop?" Issac asked.

"A soldier." Soneyo replied.

"Some might argue the best solder." Roland said, drawing Durandal.

Issac looked Soneyo over, analyzing him. "What's your name?"

"Soneyo of Bellcamp." Soneyo nodded his head politely.

"Issac Daft. Good to meet you." Issac turned to Roland. "What?s your name?"

"Roland de Magnus."

Issac nodded. "Which one of you am I fighting first?"

"We don't have to fight." Soneyo said.

"So I'm fighting Roland first."

Soneyo looked to Roland, who quickly sheathed Durandal. "No, you can take this one. Let's see you diplomat your way out of this, Great Knight."

"The only reason I'm here is for a good fight." Issac said. "Talk is for cowards"

Soneyo sighed. "If I spoke while we fought, would you listen?"

"Certainly." Issac said.

Soneyo nodded, took off his satchel, and set it on the ground. "Do you mind if I take off some of my armor? To even the fight out?"

"It isn't necessary, but I won't stop you." Issac said.

Soneyo nodded, and took off his robe, cloak, weapons, and all his armor except his vambraces. Everything was set aside, against one of the walls; Roland took a seat next to it.

"That's a lot of armor you took off." Issac said. "You sure you don?t want it?"

"Yes." Soneyo said.

"You mind if I set up some rules? Just stuff I'm used to?"

"Not at all." Soneyo said.

Issac smiled. "OK. There are two rules; one, if you're on the ground for more than ten seconds, you lose. Second, if you get knocked out, you lose."

Roland laughed. "I've never seen anyone knock Soneyo out. I've seen dragons hit him so hard it rips apart his armor and he still gets up."

"Guess I'm gonna be the first, then." Issac said. "Whenever you're ready."

Soneyo bowed, and took a simple fighting stance. A defensive stance, Issac noted. "Ready."

Issac started with a series of jabs, followed by a body shot; Soneyo ducked the first jab and dodged the rest.

"You ever fight before?" Issac asked, throwing a jab. Soneyo blocked it.

"Yes." Soneyo said, throwing a jab. Issac dodged it, and tried a kick; Soneyo blocked it and landed a body shot. "Occasionally. It's cathartic."

"Soneyo's been know to spar against Zylo, king of the Wolfmen."

"How good is he?" Issac asked.

"?he?s king of the Wolfmen." Roland said. "He's the best of the best. He can rip through most armor like a regular man could rip through cloth."

That explains why he's being so damned careful. Issac thought. I might have to switch up my style.

Issac let his stance falter just a little, then threw a left hook. Soneyo jumped to the side and hit Issac in the collarbone, and Issac spun around with him and landed a powerful blow to Soneyo's cheekbone. Soneyo stumbled back; Issac saw his opening, and pressed it.

Two left hooks, a blow to the ribs, a heel kick that slammed Soneyo into the wall; all of it came naturally after twenty years of fighting. He didn?t even have to think about it. He even froze when Soneyo fell to his knees; that's just how it worked for him.

"Your diplomacy seems to be working, Soneyo." Roland said. "He's only beaten you halfway to death."

Soneyo stood up, taking three great breaths as he did. His mouth was bloody; the eye over where he'd been hit was closed, and the entire left side of his face was bruised and beginning to swell. "That was brilliant."

"You weren't going to let your guard down unless I did." Issac said. "Right?"

"Most likely." Soneyo said. "It will only work once, though."

"It only needs to work once." Issac said.

Soneyo gestured towards Issac. "Will you be alright? I can heal you, if you'd like."

Issac looked down. He'd actually completely forgotten he'd been hit. He couldn't actually see it, but it hurt like a *****, and Issac was sure something was broken.

'I'll be fine. Are you alright? That hit should have knocked you straight into next week."

"I'll live." Soneyo said. "You like fighting?"

"I love fighting." Issac said. "I live for it. I've spent my whole life fighting, and haven't regretted a moment."

"What are you going to do if you win this?" Soneyo asked.

Issac smiled. "I won't. I'm not even going to get past this round." Issac took a deep breath and ran his hand across his scalp. "I wouldn't normally tell a person this, but I don't like mines. Or...I dunno, hospitals. Old factories. Anything filthy, or that hasn't been cleaned in a long time, basically. And if they're going to have me fighting in places like this...I'd rather not fight; I'll forfeit first."

"But you're not going to get past this round?" Roland asked. "Really? You're going to walk away from near-infinite power?"

"I don't need infinite power. I don't want it either. I don't even like magic. I just...want to live my life the way I chose to." Issac turned to Soneyo. "And I came here for a good fight. You're going to give me a good fight, aren't you?"

Soneyo nodded. "I'll do what I can."

Issac smiled again. "Great. Ready for round two?"

Soneyo took a fighting stance, more offensive this time. He, too, was smiling. "Yes. Come at me."

That should be under 1000 words; I can't be 100% certain, I had to change some things, and I fixed up some stuff, too, but I'm about 93% sure it's under 1000 words.

I've got other stuff planned, too; I'm going to elaborate on what happens to Issac, Soneyo and Roland, but it's not part of my actual submission, just additional stuff that adds to the world. I might also add a commentary explaining my thought process; I've done that before.
 

Viking Incognito

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Oh shit, I have been way busy with family stuff and I didn't even know this was underway, am I out or have I missed anything major?
 

JoJo

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Viking Incognito said:
Oh shit, I have been way busy with family stuff and I didn't even know this was underway, am I out or have I missed anything major?
Fortunately for you it's been pretty quiet around here recently; you're in Block 2 of the First Round which means you've got until December 3rd to get your first entry in, for full details see this post [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/540.316635-The-Ratings-War-VI-Aces-High-Round-1-1-Entries-Due-Nov-30-1-2-Entries-Due-Dec-3?page=5#13252389] written by Krunk.
 

CounterAttack

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[HEADING=3]{ A Meeting of Minds }[/HEADING]
[ Daman Ra versus Dimitry Shanks ]

Code:
4
was all that the paper told Daman. Regardless, the High Adept strode forward with confidence in his heart and his staff held tightly in one hand. Passing through the open doorway revealed... glass. Everywhere. From the walls to the ceiling and even the floor. Daman stepped through, treading lightly so as not to shatter the floor below. The place appeared to be similar to an office floor, though it was by no means as familiar to him as the studies and conservatories of Istade's Academy. He drew his robes close about him as he walked.

Many men and women bustled back and forth, while some stood and watched the proceedings with grim expressions: Daman had no quarrel with any of them. He had an opponent somewhere in this building, and he was to defeat whoever they might be. He rounded a corner, knowing full well that he stood out in the crowd...

And there he was, standing at the end of the corridor. None of the watching guards were in sight. Another outlier, one he recognised from the trip up to the portal room. Daman braced himself for any kind of attack; as he mustered his concentration and began to hone it as he had done many times before, the crystal in his staff began to glow. Proximity to Daman, the man to whom the weapon was magically bound, caused this.

Daman said nothing, nor did he move. He was waiting for the stranger to try something... and he soon had what he wanted. He felt a light flicker at the back of his mind: the purple-haired man was attempting to enter his head. He would not get the chance.

"Avaunt thee," the High Adept snarled, tracing a gesture in the air with his free hand. Trails of blue light followed his fingers, forming a rune in midair. Once completed, it glowed once and vanished. The gesture was a simple cantrip designed to counter a hostile spell: while he did not detect any trace of magic, Istadian or otherwise, about this person, his attack bore strong similarities to magic that most residents of Istade practiced. The purple-haired man flinched as he was forcibly ejected from Daman?s mind, and strode forward with raised fists: he bore no weapons of his own.

"If you want to play that way, then that's how we'll play," the stranger hissed quietly. In response, Daman's eyebrows narrowed and he raised his staff to fight... though he was not a combative man. The mage pointed the crystal end of his weapon at the stranger, hoping to stop him short of arm's length. He kept it in one hand, leaving his off-hand free for small spells.

"I would not get closer if I were you," Daman warned. The stranger hesitated momentarily, but charged nonetheless. Daman sidestepped out of the way of the man's clumsy first swing, and let the man stumble past, already off-balance. Perfect. As the purple-haired man came about to try again, Daman prepared another of his simpler spells: a moment of distraction was necessary to secure his advantage.

Daman traced a second sigil in the air around his hand, and a small ball of silver light formed in his open palm. He sent it soaring towards the hostile man with a flick of his wrist: the orb sailed past his head, occasionally blinking brighter than normal. The man watched it go momentarily... and then felt a sharp jab in his gut as Daman drove the end of the staff into him. He staggered backwards, looking up at the High Adept before he tried to straighten up.

Daman continued his assault while he had the chance, though there was neither order nor method to his attacks: he had no military skill with his weapon of choice. It mattered little, however, as he drove his opponent down the corridor. They were coming up to a glass wall: however, Daman saw no-one beyond it. Just other buildings of similar design, a fair distance away. A plan began to form in the Adept's mind, even as he continued pushing his opponent down the corridor. People were starting to take notice of the struggle between the two: guards were moving to isolate and contain the scene, weapons raised.

Soon afterwards, Daman withheld his next attack, instead taking a small step back. He did not, however, lower his guard; a faint blue glow surrounded his hand and the crystal in his staff. "You can live or you can die," he stated quietly. "The Joker must be destroyed, and you are in no position to continue the tournament. I offer you a choice: you may surrender and leave this place alive, or die, once and forever. Which will it be?"

The purple-haired man got to his feet, backing up a little at the sight of Daman's magical display. Perhaps he thought he was out of his depth. Daman, however, waited patiently for the man to make up his mind. He felt no trace of influence on his mind: the stranger was not trying any tricks he might have up his sleeve.

Eventually he spoke, in a quiet voice of shame. "I - I don't want to die. I quit, I'm done." He turned away from Daman and sat down, leaning up against one of the walls.

The words had a strange finality to them, but Daman paid that oddity no heed. What mattered was that he had completed the first task set of him. More would come, of course, but he would meet them head-on.
 

staika

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Here is my first draft of my entry with a word count of 998 words. I have proof read it myself since my friend was busy but have it be known that I had to do edits from my phone so take it as you will.
Troy blinked and he found himself in a dark forest, he couldn't see that far ahead of him but something gave him the chills when he looked around. Hidden in the darkness behind Troy was Xenon as he sat silently observing troy. "That boy doesn't look like that strong of a fighter, even holding back I should still beat him." Xenon thought to himself as he prepared to summon a bird of prey.

Troy started to walk around aimlessly attempting to find his opponent when he started to hear some chanting. The chanting sounded like it was coming from all around him and he couldn't make out where exactly it was coming from. He started to become anxious as he clenched his sword when all of a sudden the chanting stopped. Troy relaxed for just an instant when he heard a loud shriek and then a large bird charged him from the darkness.

"Oh shit!" Troy shouted as he was barely able to roll out of the way in time. "What the hell was that?" Troy asked himself as he looked to where the bird had gone but lost it in the darkness. Troy knew that he had to keep moving but found it hard to move well in the muddy area he was in. "Dammit, That bird could attack me again at any moment. I better think of something and fast" Troy said to himself as he heard the shriek again.

Troy brought himself to feet, he tried to locate the bird but there were too many dark spots and his eyes were not fully adjusted to the dark yet. He slowly drew his sword when he saw something out of the corner of his eye but by the time he looked that way it was gone. A sense of fear started to overtake him as he started to sweat a little, a beat of sweat went down his face to his nose where it dropped into the puddle where troy was standing.

In the same moment the drop of sweat hit the puddle Troy felt like he was strongly pushed by something. The bird had hit troy from behind and sent his body flying into one of the trees where his body hit with an audible crack. Troy had lost consciousness when he hit the tree and his body fell lifelessly to the ground.

A few moments later Xenon had approached troy's body. "The deed has been done, I am sorry you had to die." Xenon said as he started to walk away from Troy's body. Inside Troy's subconscious his evil side was starting to take over for the first time causing his body to undergo some changes.

Xenon then stopped once he felt a very strong killing intent. He looked back and noticed that the man who was dead just a second ago was standing and he looked different. Troy looked over at Xenon and was amused at how he was looking at him. "Oh how nice it will be to kill you." Troy said in a sadistic voice while smiling. Troy drew his sword which looked evil in its own right and he charged straight at Xenon.

Xenon was surprised at Troy's speed and was barely able to dodge his attack. "What are you?" Xenon asked after he rolled to the side. "Me? All you need to know is that I'm here to kill you." Troy answered with a large smile on his face. Troy charged again at Xenon who this time was still on one knee. Xenon knew he did not have enough time to dodge so he brought his Wand up to block Troy's attack.

Troy's sword and Xenon's wand connected and sparks flew as the two weapons met. The force of impact made Xenon fall on his back and Troy noticed this. Troy moved his sword a little until the wand was caught in one of the spikes that was protruding out of the blade. Troy then took a few steps forward allowing him to position himself so that his blade was pointing straight down at Xenon. Troy then used his strength to push the blade down towards Xenon's body.

The blade kept getting closer to Xenon's body when the two men heard the shriek of the bird that was still in the area. "Looks like I'll have to finish you off quickly before your little bird friend get's here." Troy stated as he made one final push and the tip of his sword pierced Xenon's stomach. He was about to push even further when he saw the bird coming for him out of the corner of his eye.

Troy brought his sword back up and rolled out of the way of the charging bird giving Xenon a chance to get back up. Xenon started to crawl away but he couldn't go that far since the injury was somehow much more painful than it appeared. Suddenly Xenon felt a pressure on his back which forced his body to the ground. "Trying to escape from me? Now I just have to kill you and that bird goes away." Troy said as he put his boot on Xenon's back keeping him from standing up.

"Well it's been fun but everything must come to an end." Troy remarked as he moved his boot to the back of Xenon's head. Troy started to put pressure on the Xenon's head forcing his head into a small puddle of water. "Oh your afraid of water are you? That makes this all the more enjoyable." Troy said noticing how Xenon's body had tensed up once his head hit the water.

"Now you're going to drown!" Troy shouted excitedly until he heard the shriek of the bird again. "Aww too bad now I'm just going to have to end this now." Troy said drawing his sword. Troy moved his foot for an instant and brought the blade down on Xenon's neck killing him instantly. The shrieking of the bird stopped once Xenon died as Troy just stood there laughing.
 

elementsoul

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So that 1000 word limit nearly killed me. It took me half as long to write this as it took to drop 76 words from the original draft to bring it to exactly 1000 words. I also had to cut a lot of ideas that I had thought of because of want to use everything available. That also meant that the combat writing took the biggest hit. For that I apologize and hope that I get selected to move onto the next round, which will hopefully have a higher word limit as I could have easily made this 3000 words+ like my sample entry.

Both men entered the door labeled number two. When they entered they were teleported to different sections of the arena. Beams of light coming from the ground rose to the ceiling before reflecting all over the cavern. This revealed that the trees of this forest not only covered the ground, but the walls and the ceilings as well. Both combatants took in the sight and headed straight into the woodland before them. Xenon moved loosely with the shadows. Troy stayed out in the open pathway, ready to draw when his opponent was sighted.

Light footsteps made up the only sound, as Xenon passed through the dark grouping of trees. After moving through several rough, dark groupings of trees Xenon took a breather. When he sat on the ground with his back against a large stone, light footsteps and whispers could be heard from the surrounding trees. Xenon stood up and removed his dagger. He produced a circle on the ground. Two squares were made inside of the circle; the first with its edges connected to circle, and the second with its edges placed in the center of larger square?s sides.

The whispers became louder and people wearing dark cloaks with the hoods pulled over their heads appeared from the trees; their whispers becoming audible as they neared. ?His past. His present. His future. Of the two here, he would be best to defend Chicane. Should we help him? Only a little, we don?t want to be noticed too much. Just watch your back Xenon.? All the people who appeared spoke together, as if they were one. As soon as they finished withdrew Xenon relaxed a little, but the last sentence had bothered him. What could they mean when they said, ?watch your back??

A little unnerved, Xenon quickly left the area and continued on through the darkness. After clearing two more ill-lighted sections of the forest, he came to a clearing that looked like a luminous marsh. Slowly he approached it and stuck his hand in the murky water. There was a shot of pain as two leeches bit into the back of his hand. He pulled his hand from the water, and pried the leeches off of his hand using his dagger. Two small sections of his hand had flesh eaten away. Xenon retreated from the treacherous marsh.

The pain of the leeches wasn?t a complete loss, as it gave him an emergency plan. Xenon stopped in both of the dark sections of the forest he had previously passed through, and made summoning circles similar to the one he made earlier. When he returned to the stretch where the mysterious people had emerged, he slowed cautiously till he reached the opposite side. An unsettled voice could be heard approaching from the illuminated region, in front of Xenon.

Troy had remained on the lighten roads while he searched. The pathways would constantly expand and narrow as he followed them. The looming pitch black sides were starting to get to him, as he continued to trudge forward throughout the forest. Finally the atmosphere had gotten to him and he yelled out, ?where are you!? Come out already and fight me! You?ll have to do it at some point and the Ace said that there?s not a lot of time for these battles to happen!? A few seconds after shouting Troy regretted it, despite the fact that he felt better when his nerves calmed down.

Upon hearing the yelling Xenon climbed to the top of a tree close to the edge of the clearing and waited. He watched as Troy followed down the trail towards him, constantly looking from side to side. After his actions before he was transferred to this world and by law of the guilds, Xenon decided to knock Troy out as he passed under him. Quietly Xenon dropped from an above branch and landed a blow with his forearm into the top of Troy?s head, before he could react to the sound that was made above him.

With the young man unconscious on the ground before him, Xenon turned around and called out, ?I knocked him out and I?m letting him live! That counts as a victory! Let me out of here so I can move on towards the?!? Before he could finish his sentence a blood thirsty laugh came from behind him. The words of warning flashed through his mind, prompting Xenon to jump forward; barely avoiding a decapitation.

?Good thing you dodge that. You wouldn?t have been any fun if I had killed you so soon. Now let?s play,? Evil Troy announced as he took another swing at Xenon. This sparked Xenon to turn around and see his opponent not only awake, but with a new grey hair colour. Quickly drawing his dagger Xenon parried the attack before running into the forest. This threat was much more dangerous than anticipated and needed to be killed. ?I?ll have to make you suffer for running away,? remarked Evil Troy as he set off after Xenon.

Xenon only stopped running at his circles, where he closed one hand and placed the other flat on top in order to summon a hell hound before sending it off into the forest. As soon as he reached the marsh Evil Troy caught up to him and Xenon whistled. When Troy slashed forward at Xenon, his attack was blocked as Xenon tried to step around him. A dagger was thrust into Xenon?s shoulder a shallow distanced as he passed him. Xenon fell due to the pain and three hell hounds jumped from out of the forest, tackling Evil Troy into the marsh. A struggle was clear in the water as a large amount of blood was being mixed into the murky water and the struggle stopped. The leeches and hounds had clearly eaten into him enough for him to bleed out. A feeling of regret washed over Xenon?s mind as he returned the hounds. He had not wanted to kill again so soon.
 

Tips_of_Fingers

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Entry is earlier than I had anticipated. I may reread it tomorrow and edit if necessary but I'm pretty happy with it...despite that blasted word limit lol. In case you're all wondering, I'm bang on 1000 words.

So here it is, Faustus vs Zayin. (I've referred to her by her real name in my entry).

"You're lucky!" The woman shouted as her blue-engraved blade narrowly missed Faustus's neck again.

"Sometimes." Faustus replied, backing away from the searching blade.

They had been fighting atop the narrow walkways of the factory for over an hour, large vats of white-hot liquid bubbling menacingly below. The woman sought to kill Faustus while he merely parried for his life. She was the worst opponent they could have given him; he loathed violence against women, even if they were determined to spill his own blood.

As Faustus's energy visibly waned, the woman doubled her attack, feinting, jabbing and swinging the dagger with unnerving skill. Lunging forward, the woman raised her blade, ready to cleave Faustus's head. Raising his quarterstaff to block, he felt it connect with a pipe above, shooting steam into the woman's face.

Her balance compromised, the woman's attack veered harmlessly wide as she slipped, falling towards the white-hot liquid below. With surprising reactions, Faustus dropped to his stomach and reached out a hand, grabbing the woman's left tightly in his own.

Panting hard and still gripping her weapon, the woman?s eyes widened in shock. "I didn't see this coming." She exclaimed, tone implying some sort of personal affront. Faustus pulled her onto the walkway and cautiously moved onto safer ground. The woman followed, frowning in confusion. "You saved my life. What now?"

"Now?" Faustus began wearily, heading towards a nearby bench. "Now we talk. The name's Faustus."

"Lauren." She said instantly, apparently unsurprised at introducing herself to a man who - moments before - she had been trying to kill. Faustus couldn't shake the feeling that she had been expecting him to suggest talking all along.


********

"You have a son." Faustus repeated, staring at the floor.

"I have a son." Lauren sighed, leaning back on the bench.

They had been chatting for a while, each telling the other about their lives back home. She had confided in him about her prescience, but for some reason Faustus had not mentioned his luck.

"If you have a son, why are you here? You should be with him!" Faustus was just repeating arguments again, talking himself into a circle he was finding difficult to escape.

Lauren looked at him patiently, fiddling idly with her blue-engraved dagger. "He's in safe hands. My reasons for being here are personal. "But what about you?" She asked. "How did you get involved in all this?"

"Kidnapping." He answered flatly, shrugging "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But to be honest, God-like powers sound like something that would definitely help me get off the streets. Make something of myself, y?know?" Silence hung in the air. Lauren seemed to be thinking about something else.

At last, she focused back on Faustus. "So what do we do? You saved my life...I can't really bring myself to kill you now.?

Faustus grinned. Inside though, he was a torrent of uncertainty; he wanted to advance in the tournament, but he didn't want to hurt - let alone kill - this woman. A thought occurred to him, one that could solve his dilemma. "Do you have a coin?" He asked.

"I have a quarter, I think." Lauren rummaged in her pockets, eventually pulling out a silver coin with a triumphant cry. She handed it to Faustus without question.

"Heads or tails?" He said, balancing the coin on his thumb.

"We're really doing this?" She said in surprise. Faustus just stared at her blankly. "Ok, ok. Heads. The loser stands down without question?"

"The loser stands down without question."

Faustus took a deep breath, flicking the coin high and leaning back to watch as it clattered onto the floor. Neither spoke as the coin spun in front of them, twisting and turning, tracing smaller and smaller circles. As the coin began to settle, a boot suddenly stamped down on top of it, breaking Lauren and Faustus from their reverie.

"Foul toss!" Faustus jumped up at the oily voice. A greasy worker loomed over him. The heavy-set man was in dirty overalls, clutching an enormous wrench. Pushing Faustus back down onto the bench with a calloused hand, the greasy worker eyed Lauren appraisingly.

Watching uncomprehendingly, Lauren noticed more workers appearing, brandishing heavy spanners. These men obviously meant trouble. "Take no quarter," one of the workers said, turning a nearby valve, causing steam to fill the area.

Faustus found himself in a grey void, indistinct and muffled sounds reaching his ears. Instinctively, he jumped up again, staff ready to attack. Out of nowhere, something heavy struck Faustus in the stomach, dropping him to the floor. Through the steam, Lauren was screaming. Faustus could only gasp for breath.

After the steam eventually cleared, Faustus pulled himself up groggily. There was one worker dead, a stab wound to the chest. Aside from the corpse, the walkway was empty.

"It seems you are the victor, Faustus." Turning to face the speaker, Faustus raised his staff defensively. He stared hollowly at a clean-shaven man wearing a fine jacket, simple spade sewn on the breast.

"Where's Lauren?" Faustus managed to groan, fatigue softening his voice.

"She is gone, Faustus. You are the victor."

"Where is she?" Faustus asked, harder this time.

The spade sighed, flashing a tight smile. He held his hands behind him stoically. "She is gone Faustus. Now if you would please follow me." Without waiting, the spade strode towards a nearby doorway.

Faustus felt empty, drained and confused. Looking down, he noticed the silver quarter lying at his feet. He dropped to his knees and stared at it for a long time, attention fixed so strongly on the coin that he didn't notice the spade return, place a hand under his arm and guide him out of the factory. "You must prepare for the next round," He said.

But Faustus didn?t hear him. All he could think about was the coin; the words 'IN GOD WE TRUST' yelling at him, the face of an unknown man purposefully averting its gaze.
 

Viking Incognito

Master Headsplitter
Nov 8, 2009
1,924
0
0
Mine is almost done, but I think I'll wait until Dec. 2 to submit it so I can revise a bit or in case I change my mind about the ending.

Relatively important question: Who should I show this to for proof-reading? Obviously not my opponent or the judges, I just don't know.
 

Khedive Rex

New member
Jun 1, 2008
1,253
0
0
Traditionally speaking we're supposed to proofread our own stuff. If someone edits your peice for you a certain amount of their ability is reflected in what you wrote, the peice isn't a singular effort anymore. That said, I'm not wonderfully strict on this rule and I'll admit to having had first look at a friend of mine's production on one occasion so I'm really in no position to enforce this. I'd ask Lord Krunk for an official decision but, my first suggestion would be to proof read it yourself and if you're sure it still needs looking through i'd give it to a friend. But certainly not your opponent and I think it would be unfair to expect the judges to read through both the finished submitions and the unfinished submissions.