The Right Way to Get Over A Girlfriend?

[Golden Gryphon]

Evisceration would be my first choice, I just need somewhere easy to clean. I could use the adorableness to my advantage and god knows I can sound like a silly american when I want to but something in me rebels against that idea. I'm independent and intelligent damn it and they will take me seriously before they die.

See, this is why I advocate the Dexter approach - after you've lured them into your cunningly placed trap (you did place a trap right?) and you render them unconscious, you bring them to your kill room and you strap them down and then you have a nice little chat before you finish the job.

It's the only way to make sure they die knowing full-well why they deserved the icy grip of death.

I favour the idea of them being free to move but at the same time trapped, unable to escape and knowing full well they will die even if they don't know when. Unfortunately my looks and voice are not conductive to inspiring fear and gloating about how clever I was to trap them in the first place seems so passe.

Dear lord we've royally derailed the thread.

 

[Biek]

You have to try to cheer yourself up. Look around you and realize you didnt need a woman to achieve what youve got today: Your house, your stuff, your friends etc.

 

[Resistance205]

I'm probably not the best person to ask, considering it took me like 5 months to get over my last girlfriend, but all I can say is:
Do things to get your mind of it, take up some new hobbies, hang out with friends and just keep yourself busy, that's the best thing to do.

Wait, fuck that.

Just Safety Dance. She obviously didn't dance, and if she doesn't dance, she's no friend of yours.

The Safety Dance is the answer to all.

 

[Macgyvercas]

get completely piss roaring drunk and go on a rampage where you smash skyscrapers to pieces with your own spleen...okay not really, but that would be fun.

In all seriousness, hang out with friends, cruise some movie theatres and have a good time.

 

[nettkenneth]

this is how i do it drink myself 'till i cry like a baby about her,
then in the hangover i call her mumbling something in the phone about her, then you drop the phone in the pint of beer you had before falling asleep water works fine to (not advised if it was expensive or you have a limited cashflow).
then you play a childish prank like burning all she has left in your house on her porch,(innovation is a plus).
now you may have destroyed any chance at her or her friends, but now you live you life like nothing happened.

yes i have a lot of issues

 

[nettkenneth]

I favour the idea of them being free to move but at the same time trapped, unable to escape and knowing full well they will die even if they don't know when. Unfortunately my looks and voice are not conductive to inspiring fear and gloating about how clever I was to trap them in the first place seems so passe.

Dear lord we've royally derailed the thread.

Looks aren't everything!
Though the importance of a dramatic voice cannot be denied.

Still, people make allowances when you have them at the business end of a knife.
Or so I hear.

...Wasn't it always about serial murder?

laxatives and the toilet need i say more

 

[Golden Gryphon]

I favour the idea of them being free to move but at the same time trapped, unable to escape and knowing full well they will die even if they don't know when. Unfortunately my looks and voice are not conductive to inspiring fear and gloating about how clever I was to trap them in the first place seems so passe.

Dear lord we've royally derailed the thread.

Looks aren't everything!
Though the importance of a dramatic voice cannot be denied.

Still, people make allowances when you have them at the business end of a knife.
Or so I hear.

...Wasn't it always about serial murder?

Girlfriend, ways to do something... it could well have been about serial murder.

Looks are slightly important when the top of your head only comes up to most people's chest and it's hard to be threatening when you're standing on a box. The addition of a very sharp knife may be just what I need.

 

[TheMatt]

Pointless one night stands and booze.

Ninja'd!

This... This is the only way to cope. It has worked for me numerous times. plus, you get to add another notch to your over all total.

Remember, once over 20 you get double man points. 50? Triple. They can be redeemed for beef jerky and power tools.

 

[nettkenneth]

laxatives and the toilet need i say more

...Kindly do not.

Remember, once over 20 you get double man points. 50? Triple. They can be redeemed for beef jerky and power tools.

Don't forget to drink beer and watch shitty (any) sports - that's 100 right there, combined.

Girlfriend, ways to do something... it could well have been about serial murder.

Looks are slightly important when the top of your head only comes up to most people's chest and it's hard to be threatening when you're standing on a box. The addition of a very sharp knife may be just what I need.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Just make sure you're holding it right - nothing gives someone more confidence than realizing the person they're facing down doesn't know how to make them more aerodynamic without slipping and cutting their hand on the blade.

learn how to throw knives and stand on the top of some stairs

 

[Golden Gryphon]

Girlfriend, ways to do something... it could well have been about serial murder.

Looks are slightly important when the top of your head only comes up to most people's chest and it's hard to be threatening when you're standing on a box. The addition of a very sharp knife may be just what I need.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Just make sure you're holding it right - nothing gives someone more confidence than realizing the person they're facing down doesn't know how to make them more aerodynamic without slipping and cutting their hand on the blade.

I'm pretty sure I know how to hold a knife properly but it isn't something I've ever had a chance to practice on anybody. Maybe I should make sure that I tie up the first one just in case.

 

[Golden Gryphon]

learn how to throw knives and stand on the top of some stairs

Killing from a distance is so impersonal. If I just wanted them to die I'd get a gun.

 

[nettkenneth]

learn how to throw knives and stand on the top of some stairs

Killing from a distance is so impersonal. If I just wanted them to die I'd get a gun.

strap them in a dentist chair han have fun with a black and decker then, just make sure you wear a mask and protective goggles, don't want any diseases

(lot of issues and a lot of thougth)

 

[Inarticulate_Underachiever]

Drink copious amounts of cider and listen to Weezer's Pinkerton album.

 

[Madaxeman101]

Pointless one night stands and booze.

That is possibly the manliest answer to any question ever in the entire history of existence

 

[Golden Gryphon]

I'm pretty sure I know how to hold a knife properly but it isn't something I've ever had a chance to practice on anybody. Maybe I should make sure that I tie up the first one just in case.

See, now, there's nothing wrong with being cautious for your first one!
...That's a sex joke just waiting to happen.

It certainly puts my comment on having to tie them up in a new light. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go scrub my brain.