The Rules of All Video Games

Recommended Videos

Evilproduct

New member
Oct 25, 2009
163
0
0
If you enter into a large empty space or room with several floors, the main villain is about to show himself and you will have to endure at the very least 3 waves of enemies before you can continue.

Autosave triggers at the worst possible times.

Quicksave is one of the greatest inventions in gaming history and should be part of every Xbox 360 game.

British people are snobs online.

You should search and loot every dead body you come across, even if it was your best friend two minutes ago and especially if they had armor better than yours.

The only effective way of dealing with an infectious disease or parasite is by nuking the facility you are currently standing in...and you'll have to out run the blast no matter what happens.

#2 is one of the most accurate rules on this list.

There is always a final boss after the final boss.

If you're taking an elevator, prepare to fight.

If you are at a locked door and are forced to cut through it, there are always enemies waiting to kill you while you're waiting.

No building is ever "abandoned".

Driving mechanics ALWAYS suck regardless of vehicle or game.

No one likes Time Trial missions, unless of course they have Alzheimer's disease and thus can forget the previous thirty attempts at the same mission. Same goes for "scored" missions with points assigned for killing certain enemies.

No car ever has enough gas when you need to use it in FPS games.

The cops hate what you're doing, even if you are one.

Your greatest enemy has a very high chance of becoming your best friend in the sequel or at the end of the game.

Do NOT press the red button.

The cake is a lie.
 

Mr. Socky

New member
Apr 22, 2009
408
0
0
Alias42 said:
If the game is immersive, you have no freedom. If the game offers you a lot of freedom, the story sucks. If the story is good, you become immersed, which fucks up the freedom.
I agreed with everything you said until the last one. Bioware proved (with ME2, which I just finished) that you can have an immersive, excellent story with lots of freedom in how everything plays out. Give it five years, and everybody might get closer to catching up with them.

And my rule is: It doesn't matter if the game sucks. If it's ridiculously hard, people will play it, and then they'll rub their record in your face every time you talk about video games.
 

C117

New member
Aug 14, 2009
1,331
0
0
If you find tons of ammo and weapons lying around, you're about to get your lungs ripped out.

Breaking stuff will earn you money.
 

tabriaswolfe

New member
Jan 25, 2010
133
0
0
Any injury up to and including death can be cured by spending the night at an Inn.

As long as one person is standing, it doesn't matter how many stab wounds/bullet holes/grenades or other injuries your team has incurred, they'll wake up and be okay.
 

teutonicman

New member
Mar 30, 2009
2,565
0
0
IRL nuts shot would cripple ANY man, in a game they do the same damage as a leg shot.
Chain-sawing a dude in half is and forever shall be a turn on.
 

JWW

New member
Jan 6, 2010
657
0
0
You have an acute knowledge of weaponry, even if you lived your entire life underground.

Bioware will always team you up with some evil *****.

If you kill everyone, your Karma will even out to neutral, due to all the good vs evil characters being balanced (anyone else annoyed by this?).

The world freezes whenever you talk to someone or start to pickpocket something.

Murder is an excellent way of dealing with problems.
 

SideburnsPuppy

New member
May 23, 2009
450
0
0
If you find an item mid-dungeon, it WILL be that dungeon's boss's Super Special Secret Weakness. And every one of those items will have to be used to defeat the Very Very Final Boss I'm Serious.

Making smarmy comments to NPCs is more likely to make them hate you than entering their houses without permission, breaking all their barrels/jars, and stealing the contents.

Karma is also unaffected by the amount of enemies (who all probably have families and loved ones) you mercilessly kill in cold blood, with the exception of Iji. I still have trouble killing enemies on a second playthrough. If anybody has any more exceptions, do tell because I'm interested.

Enemies will give up the search for you within five seconds if you're crouching in a shadow, even if the bullet that just killed their friend quite clearly came from the exact position where you are.

Computer hacking is never a carpal tunnel syndrome-inducing snorefest which takes incredible amounts of work, but instead is a fun minigame which never takes any longer than five minutes! Yaaaaaaay future security programs! I'll never have to worry about keeping my Credit Card Number a secret again.

EDIT: Oh, and one last one:

Henchmen never get funerals.
 

AgDr_ODST

Cortana's guardian
Oct 22, 2009
9,317
0
0
(MW, WaW & MW2) no matter how bad the injury if your team mate is firing his pistol, stabbing him with a syringe will heal him
(halo's 1,2&3) Being slightly more advanced than your allies means they suck and its up to you to turn the tide in the war for humanity
 

Twad

New member
Nov 19, 2009
1,254
0
0
ma55ter_fett said:
#) Headshots are leathal.
Gunshots are not immediately leathal most videogames.

Health is an absolute thing; you are either functionning at 100% efficiency, or you are dead. No in-between.
 

NamesAreHardToPick

New member
Jan 7, 2010
177
0
0
Killerbunny001 said:
10. Red barrels explode if you shot them. Always.
HAHA I've so died because of this... there are a handful of games where red barrels are just barrels and putting a few rounds into one won't do jack about the horde of bad guys swarming around it.

Rule: if you can't see a ticking clock, you've got all the time in the world. Feel free to grind XP, go shopping, etc.

EDIT:

blakfayt said:
olikunmissile said:
If there is a female character, there WILL be hentai of her somewhere on the internet.
I must stress that this rule DOES apply to underage girls, case in point is any JRPG with a girl between ages eight to fourteen. Bianca at the beginning of Dragon Quest V is a good example.
That falls under Internet Rule #34... "there's a porn for that".
 

oppp7

New member
Aug 29, 2009
7,045
0
0
Stand around long enough and you'll regain all of your health instantly.