I was measuring the length of my driveway with my brother when he decided he wanted to use the auto reel in for the tape measurer and my four fingers were gripping it at the time. Long story short, I now have a scar across those four fingers and a hatred for tape measurers
The stupidest way you have hurt yourself.
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I've never genuinely injured myself, but I might have narrowly avoided doing so when I was 10 or 11- during a game of rounders (a british baseball-type game- I don't think non-UK people are that familiar with it, though I might be wrong) in PE class, I was running around various bases and attempted to stop at one of them. Unfortunately, said bases happened to be rusty iron poles attached to weighted discs on the ground and the one I'd just run up to had just started to fall over.
Cue me stepping on the weighted disc base and causing the pole to spring back up and whack me in the face. Think the old cartoon slapstick routine where a character steps on a garden rake and you'll get the idea.
Oddly enough, taking an iron bar to the face didn't KO me or even do any visible damage. I seem to remember being more embarassed about having made an utter fool of myself than anything else- as far as hurting yourself goes, that's probably one of the more clownish ways to do so.
Cue me stepping on the weighted disc base and causing the pole to spring back up and whack me in the face. Think the old cartoon slapstick routine where a character steps on a garden rake and you'll get the idea.
Oddly enough, taking an iron bar to the face didn't KO me or even do any visible damage. I seem to remember being more embarassed about having made an utter fool of myself than anything else- as far as hurting yourself goes, that's probably one of the more clownish ways to do so.
Playing paintball with my friends. Took a bet to get shot in the back with a gun from point-blank range without my armor or shirt. The video used to be on the net...
Again with the paintball, we were taking a break between rounds, helmets off. Most of us were standing around talking, when for some reason I turned around. I feel a nice thunk between my tonsils, next thing I know I'm on the ground coughing up blood and paint. Had to eat soft food for a few days. BOOM HEADSHOT!
Again with the paintball, we were taking a break between rounds, helmets off. Most of us were standing around talking, when for some reason I turned around. I feel a nice thunk between my tonsils, next thing I know I'm on the ground coughing up blood and paint. Had to eat soft food for a few days. BOOM HEADSHOT!
I broke a rib picking up a piece of paper. I was at work rearranging my desk, and I leaned over to pick up a piece of paper that I had put on the floor, and I heard a crack from my chest, and agonising pain. I didn't realise I'd broken a rib until I poked the area of the pain a few hours later, at which half of my rib moved to a very different angle to that held by the other half of my rib, followed my more agonising pain.
I also broke a thumb falling backwards off a bar stool.
I also broke a thumb falling backwards off a bar stool.
Part two
when i was younger i had a knack for taking things apart. this got me in trouble more than once.well, i wanted to take something apart one day since it has stopped working. i reached behind my dresser and found two plugs in an outlet, i unplugged one. i proceeded to talk the thing apart. then i got to some of the internal parts the cord was getting to be a nuisance. so i ripped it out. then i was going to separate the wires by grabbing the ends and pulling them apart. this is where things went bad. i had apparently unplugged the wrong thing earlier. i felt like someone punched me in the chest (i was holding one end in each hand, therefore a "circuit") then everything went dark for a few seconds. my dad came into the room and after looking at me briefly he said "what the hell were you thinking?" at this point i realized, i had blown the master breaker for the house. ow.
when i was younger i had a knack for taking things apart. this got me in trouble more than once.well, i wanted to take something apart one day since it has stopped working. i reached behind my dresser and found two plugs in an outlet, i unplugged one. i proceeded to talk the thing apart. then i got to some of the internal parts the cord was getting to be a nuisance. so i ripped it out. then i was going to separate the wires by grabbing the ends and pulling them apart. this is where things went bad. i had apparently unplugged the wrong thing earlier. i felt like someone punched me in the chest (i was holding one end in each hand, therefore a "circuit") then everything went dark for a few seconds. my dad came into the room and after looking at me briefly he said "what the hell were you thinking?" at this point i realized, i had blown the master breaker for the house. ow.
I always run into things it's a habbit.
But this one was a kicker.
I got a small scar in one of the last places you'd guess.
Go ahead guess....
You guessed? My armpit. Yup, let me explain.
When I was in band, we were having a band-a-thon for about 8 hours of practicing and it was lunch break.
I finish my food and I'm bored with nothing to do, so I go outside. To the side of hte building there are these kids playing with the schools football equipment, a VERY stupid idea, but I apparantly thought it was playground equipment. I go over there and I see some kids using one of the football equipments as a catapult for some of the kids so I think "What the hell" and get on the catapulting end.
I stand on it, and VOOOSSHH!! I fly up and land on my back. Obvioulsy, It was awesome, so I go again. I get catapulted, VWOOOSSHHH!! And I land on my feet with the metal bar BARELY missing my jewels. I was an idiot, I didn't think anytying about it, sooooooooo......I went again. Third times the charm, I hurt myself, but this is how it happend. I get on the end, I fly, but I didn't launch myself soon enough and I end up falling down sideways and LO AND BEHOLD I scrape my armpit against the sharp side of the metal bar.
Ouch. IT stung alot. I walked away (I didn't cry, I was being sarcastic to myself telling myself that I was a genius) and basically walked around with a slightly bleeding armpit.
I eventually went to the gym coach for a patch up, but I had a scar for weeks from that damned metal bar.
I was lucky, really, any deeper and I probably would have died of blood loss. From my armpit.
God, that will forever hold as my stupidest moment ever.
But this one was a kicker.
I got a small scar in one of the last places you'd guess.
Go ahead guess....
You guessed? My armpit. Yup, let me explain.
When I was in band, we were having a band-a-thon for about 8 hours of practicing and it was lunch break.
I finish my food and I'm bored with nothing to do, so I go outside. To the side of hte building there are these kids playing with the schools football equipment, a VERY stupid idea, but I apparantly thought it was playground equipment. I go over there and I see some kids using one of the football equipments as a catapult for some of the kids so I think "What the hell" and get on the catapulting end.
I stand on it, and VOOOSSHH!! I fly up and land on my back. Obvioulsy, It was awesome, so I go again. I get catapulted, VWOOOSSHHH!! And I land on my feet with the metal bar BARELY missing my jewels. I was an idiot, I didn't think anytying about it, sooooooooo......I went again. Third times the charm, I hurt myself, but this is how it happend. I get on the end, I fly, but I didn't launch myself soon enough and I end up falling down sideways and LO AND BEHOLD I scrape my armpit against the sharp side of the metal bar.
Ouch. IT stung alot. I walked away (I didn't cry, I was being sarcastic to myself telling myself that I was a genius) and basically walked around with a slightly bleeding armpit.
I eventually went to the gym coach for a patch up, but I had a scar for weeks from that damned metal bar.
I was lucky, really, any deeper and I probably would have died of blood loss. From my armpit.
God, that will forever hold as my stupidest moment ever.
Werl, not really that embarressing, but it's kinda on y mind right now. Broke my wrist badly about 5days ago. Was attempting to do a spectaular freerunning manouver, mistimed it, hit a concrete wall headon, fell 1story straight down onto concrete. Thinking back, I was pretty ucky.
Sorry for spelling, typing with one hand is hard. 'specially my left one.
Sorry for spelling, typing with one hand is hard. 'specially my left one.
I live on the Mississippi (god that's fun to spell) river and theres a steep hill going down to everyone's dock. My friend ahd one fo those plastic jumps you buy at Shopko or whatever. He pu it at the end of a dock. At the bottom of a steep hill about 10-15 feet down till the water/dock. We were riding our bokes down the hill and off the jump, into teh water, and draging the bikes out fo the water and up the hill to do it again. Weren't we a smart bunch. Well turns out one of my friends still had one of those razor scooters. You remember those? They were cool for about a month. yea. Well I volenteerred to go off the jump with it. I got off to a slow start seeing as those things were barely meant to go on the road let aloen grass. I hit the dock, the well just wedged between it in the ground and I flew forward onto the dock. Fun fun.
Years ago I nicked my thumb against the engine fan in my Jeep while doing some work on it, while the engine was running. I have a nice scar on the joint of my thumb now to remind to think harder before doing stupid things.
Luckily the only damage was the scar, and a lot of pain. By all rights I probably should have 9 fingers.
Luckily the only damage was the scar, and a lot of pain. By all rights I probably should have 9 fingers.
Dumbest that left a scar was probably installing new mufflers beneath a car at night without a light. Splitting the coupling to slide over the new muffler I sawed about 1/4" through the side of my thumb with a hacksaw. Didn't hurt, but it felt kind of funny and all of a sudden everything was wet. When I climbed out all these long white shreds of flesh were hanging out through my thumbnail and I'm bloody all over. Finally ended up cutting the shreds off flush with the nail with fingernail clippers. That bloody well hurt. Took two decades for that scar to fade away.
Dumbest and most entertaining near-injury was pruning branches in an apple or pear tree (I forget now) with a short-handled brush ax. I was trying to cut through a limb and having a hard time because it was so springy, so in anger I wound up and gave it a mighty whack which cut through not only the intended branch, but also the lower branch I was standing on. The upper branch I was holding with my left hand held just long enough to give me an interesting cartwheeling motion before breaking off, although it did give me enough time to fling the brush ax. After running around in circles dodging falling brush ax, sheared limbs, and me, my cousins made great fun of me, acting out seemingly endless imitations of my gyrations and screams on the way down. I got away with bruises and scrapes, though.
Close seconds would be unloading my radial saw by myself and discovering all about leverage and gravity, and falling from the top of a cedar tree and discovering how striking every limb on the way down can deposit you (relatively) safely on the ground from thirty feet up...
Dumbest and most entertaining near-injury was pruning branches in an apple or pear tree (I forget now) with a short-handled brush ax. I was trying to cut through a limb and having a hard time because it was so springy, so in anger I wound up and gave it a mighty whack which cut through not only the intended branch, but also the lower branch I was standing on. The upper branch I was holding with my left hand held just long enough to give me an interesting cartwheeling motion before breaking off, although it did give me enough time to fling the brush ax. After running around in circles dodging falling brush ax, sheared limbs, and me, my cousins made great fun of me, acting out seemingly endless imitations of my gyrations and screams on the way down. I got away with bruises and scrapes, though.
Close seconds would be unloading my radial saw by myself and discovering all about leverage and gravity, and falling from the top of a cedar tree and discovering how striking every limb on the way down can deposit you (relatively) safely on the ground from thirty feet up...
I've got two, and both involve my dad. When I was five, he took me to fencing class with him...I noticed that it looked fun, and not having anyone else of my size to play with, I decided to indulge in a little "shadow fencing". Long story short, I just had to pick the part of the wall with an electrical outlet in it. I don't remember a whole hell of a lot after hitting the socket, but I do remember my dad very abruptly stopping laughing and saying to my mother "Please don't hurt me." Seriously.
And the other one was only a few years ago. My dad and my stepmom have a house that's kind of perched on the verge of a wooded ravine. Well, the house isn't, but the yard is. So anyway, it's dusk and I'm out in the backyard with the stupid terrier, and I'm standing there, waiting for the dog to be ready to go back inside and then suddenly, I'm on the ground and in pain and having trouble breathing. And something pretty big is stumbling, falling, squealling and having trouble breathing. And the dog's gone nuts. I look up, and see that Bambi's fucking daddy has popped up from the ravine and slammed right into me. I had four cracked ribs, but what really sucked is that the nurses in the emergency room couldn't keep from giggling.
And the other one was only a few years ago. My dad and my stepmom have a house that's kind of perched on the verge of a wooded ravine. Well, the house isn't, but the yard is. So anyway, it's dusk and I'm out in the backyard with the stupid terrier, and I'm standing there, waiting for the dog to be ready to go back inside and then suddenly, I'm on the ground and in pain and having trouble breathing. And something pretty big is stumbling, falling, squealling and having trouble breathing. And the dog's gone nuts. I look up, and see that Bambi's fucking daddy has popped up from the ravine and slammed right into me. I had four cracked ribs, but what really sucked is that the nurses in the emergency room couldn't keep from giggling.
1: A friend of mine was showing me a new pocketknife, and I decided to test how sharp it was. With my finger. It was indeed sharp. No lasting injuries, it was just really stupid.
2: When I was 3 or 4, my family was visiting an aquarium. I was cold because of all the fans they kept around to keep the fish at the right temperature, and somehow reasoned that if I stuck my finger into one of the huge, high powered fans, it would stop. It didn't, but the tour did. Now it's evolved into a joke. If I can't get something to work everyone suggests I stick my finger in it and hope for the best.
3: I was biking around (I live in the mountains, so I get some pretty steep hills) and was going top speed downhill on a very tight curve for some reason. I realized too late that it was too tight to make, and I jammed on my brakes too fast and they started skidding. I ran off the road, into a low ditch on the side, went onto someone's driveway horizontally, hit a 6 inch tall curb on the other side, and went flying. I only got a few scratches and bruises, but after getting up I realized I had just landed in conclusive evidence that the homeowner had a dog.
4: 6 years old and visiting a farm, I decided to touch the electric fence (directly after having been warned not to) to see what it felt like. I never found out, as I immediately blacked out. I came to 3 feet away from the fence with no injuries and a fear of electric fences.
5: When I was 5 I somehow got myself stuck in a revolving cupboard. I was stuck there screaming for hours. They eventually had to cut me out.
2: When I was 3 or 4, my family was visiting an aquarium. I was cold because of all the fans they kept around to keep the fish at the right temperature, and somehow reasoned that if I stuck my finger into one of the huge, high powered fans, it would stop. It didn't, but the tour did. Now it's evolved into a joke. If I can't get something to work everyone suggests I stick my finger in it and hope for the best.
3: I was biking around (I live in the mountains, so I get some pretty steep hills) and was going top speed downhill on a very tight curve for some reason. I realized too late that it was too tight to make, and I jammed on my brakes too fast and they started skidding. I ran off the road, into a low ditch on the side, went onto someone's driveway horizontally, hit a 6 inch tall curb on the other side, and went flying. I only got a few scratches and bruises, but after getting up I realized I had just landed in conclusive evidence that the homeowner had a dog.
4: 6 years old and visiting a farm, I decided to touch the electric fence (directly after having been warned not to) to see what it felt like. I never found out, as I immediately blacked out. I came to 3 feet away from the fence with no injuries and a fear of electric fences.
5: When I was 5 I somehow got myself stuck in a revolving cupboard. I was stuck there screaming for hours. They eventually had to cut me out.
*strains brain*
Well, I don't get injured much. I'm normally the guy saying,"I told you so," before dailing 999.
My worst one was when I dived to get a cicket ball and ended up in a heap with the umpire. No injuries, but it was embarrasing.
Oh, and I belt-sanded a knuckle off once. It grew back though.
Well, I don't get injured much. I'm normally the guy saying,"I told you so," before dailing 999.
My worst one was when I dived to get a cicket ball and ended up in a heap with the umpire. No injuries, but it was embarrasing.
Oh, and I belt-sanded a knuckle off once. It grew back though.
I'm usually the one causing the accident. Broke a kid's arm once in a mock judo match on a sofa. Punched my best friend in the face trying to show off our great jeet kune do skills.
on both occasions I'm pretty sure that I was damaged the most.
Oh, I have a good one where I get hurt too: I was at a fair with my dad, and there was this game where you used a sledgehammer to hit a metal see-saw that launches a frog on an island and you get a prize. When he pulled his hammer back I happened to be right behind him. I was about six years old at the time, but I still was diabolical enough to shame him into buying me a toy.
That's something I'm not really proud of either. Luckily I still have the scar to remember my darkest moment by.
on both occasions I'm pretty sure that I was damaged the most.Oh, I have a good one where I get hurt too: I was at a fair with my dad, and there was this game where you used a sledgehammer to hit a metal see-saw that launches a frog on an island and you get a prize. When he pulled his hammer back I happened to be right behind him. I was about six years old at the time, but I still was diabolical enough to shame him into buying me a toy.
That's something I'm not really proud of either. Luckily I still have the scar to remember my darkest moment by.