The Weirdest Thing your GF/BF has said to you?

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I think "Scandinavian smartie immigrants" might count as odd.

 

[amppi1236]

my last girlfriend told a 'crude sex joke' on the first date.

Awesome!

Can you remember the joke?

Nope, it was something to do with fruit pastels and female genitalia.

Sounds awesome!

 

[DirkBelig]

"It's bad enough you're bringing hookers home, but do you have to leave the bodies in our bed?"

 

[RheynbowDash]

I'm not making this up.
"Treat me like a whore."
I could not hide the surprise on my face.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

"Sure I'll go out with you"

 

[PinkAngelKitty]

My boyfriend always pinches my cheeks and goes "OH DOE DOE DOE DOE DOE!!!!!" really loud. Which is also what he does to his bird whenever she's being especially cute. >_>

I fucking hate that bird.

 

[WrongSprite]

my last girlfriend told a 'crude sex joke' on the first date.

Awesome!

Can you remember the joke?

Nope, it was something to do with fruit pastels and female genitalia.

Oh shit, the herpes thing?

OT: No...not really. I'm relatively normal unfortunately.

 

[Starnerf]

"It's bad enough you're bringing hookers home, but do you have to leave the bodies in our bed?"

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable request. I mean who wants dead hookers on their bed? Stop being lazy and put them in the trash when you're done with them.

 

[Player 2]

my last girlfriend told a 'crude sex joke' on the first date.

Awesome!

Can you remember the joke?

Nope, it was something to do with fruit pastels and female genitalia.

Did the guy in the joke end up eating a genital wart?

Because I think I've heard it before.

 

[Dyp100]

-Strokes beard-...???

Sorry, no reply, nothing springs to mind.

And I wanna hear this dirty joke...Well, I don't because it'll end in locked thread, but still. XD

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

'You go get the chains, and I'll meet you in the barn'

...Yeah.

 

[DND Judgement]

"i wish i was a lesbian"

my last girlfriend said that to me once.. her reasoning behind it though was cos she liked boobs...

 

[Soxafloppin]

my last girlfriend told a 'crude sex joke' on the first date.

Awesome!

Can you remember the joke?

Nope, it was something to do with fruit pastels and female genitalia.

Did the guy in the joke end up eating a genital wart?

Because I think I've heard it before.

Yea i think thats it.

 

[damselgaming]

Ahaa- so many things!

"You fingers must be scared of mine."
"If I was a cat, would you look after me? I'd let you get another boyfriend, as long as you put me out of the room while you were... well you know."
"Do you wash your penis or your face first?" ... I have no penis...

 

[Samuel Cook]

Girlfriend from a couple of years ago said I'd be perfect if I looked more like Freddie Mercury. I was like, "What the fuck?!" She was a strange, strange girl..

"It's bad enough you're bringing hookers home, but do you have to leave the bodies in our bed?"

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable request. I mean who wants dead hookers on their bed? Stop being lazy and put them in the trash when you're done with them.

Why waste perfectly good food?

 

[Eggsnham]

Posted this story a long time ago, so copied and pasted:

"Kay, so I was dating this girl awhile back, and we'd been together, like, 4 months. We're both 15, and this was our first relationship for both of us, so neither of us have had sex before. Now that that's outta the way, onto the actual story.

We were swimming with her two brothers, and being the witty people we were, we told them to see who could hold their breath the longest so we could have some privacy for a few seconds. We started making out, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, but nothing sexual happened. The next day at school, she was scared that she was pregnant.

A 15 year old had no idea what sex was.

I dunno if this is common, but it kinda threw me for a loop. We broke up later that week."

The animal instinct in me (you know, the one with survival of the fittest and all of that) wants me to laugh at her and deem her unworthy of human life.

 

[Eggsnham]

Oh yes, sorry for the double post, but a girl I dated in eighth grade once told me that I would be a cool vampire and that I had vampire fangs. This was of course during eighth grade mind you.

 

[likalaruku]

Me = girl.

Boyfriend: "You want me to be the b*tch in this relationship."

My responceL "Lol!" XD & probably some gratuitous "bend over" jokes.

 

[Abengoshis]

"Want to dance?"

Yeah you'd have to know me to understand...