The Weirdest Thing your GF/BF has said to you?

[Foxbat Flyer]

The weirdest thing ive been told is that i didnt make a move, and thats why she left me... I didnt know i had to make a move... this was after 2 weeks, and she is the only gf ive had too

 

[Deef]

She asked me if masturbating with socks was scratchy. I really had no idea where that question came from or how to respond to it.

 

[Trifixion]

"I knew it, the damn ducks are plotting against us!"

 

[the_tramp]

My... well not girlfriend, a friend with benefits, said 'ahh, so much better than a dildo'.

Great... you're comparing me to a dildo.

 

[messy]

"Well if we got your dad together with my dad, then we'd be like brother and sister"

Never has the mood been so effectively killed, nor has awkwardness risen so much

Note; neither of out fathers are homosexual

 

[Paddin]

She was a wiccan. There were TOO many things she said to me that sounded insane unfortunately

 

[Vigilantis]

That I A) Look like Radditz from Dragon Ball Z or B) To do my ahem...business in her bellybutton... You choose

BTW We aren't dating anymore haha

 

[clairedelune]

I was really hoping the question would end "in bed" because I have some really good ones for that. IE: What do you think about becoming a Kazakhstani prostitute?
Since i'm not remotely middle eastern, that was an odd question.

 

[Apache2142]

my last girlfriend told a 'crude sex joke' on the first date.

Awesome!

Ha! Smut is always amusing

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I can't recall anything out of the ordinary, but my gf is still kind of an oddball at times

 

[Zeetchmen]

She said and I quote

"So I was giving this guy I'd been seeing head for the first time one night, and it was a really wild session.
So the fun part was, when he was done and spent, I got up and licked some semen off my hands and I was like "so what was your name again?".
It was great"

It skurred me

 

[Scrythe]

I'm sure there's a few if I think hard enough, but the one that's ringing out loud was this:

When I was still with my ex, she once expressed how much she'd love a pet pig. I agreed, but I jokingly said we should name him Bacon.

She actually liked the idea. Probably one of the few times we ever agreed on anything that easily.

 

[CincoDeMayo]

"It's bad enough you're bringing hookers home, but do you have to leave the bodies in our bed?"

this /thread

I can't think of anything that's really funny or worth mentioning at all from previous relationships, although I've had some interesting discussions such as "fair and square, if you do me in the ass it's only fair that I do yours".

And that's why I stick to number one.

 

[Sparrow]

"Pass me the sauce."

"Which one?"

"The huge, purple one that's shaped like a dick."

This was the first time my parents had met my current girlfriend. Needless to say, my dad and I found it hilarious. My mother on the other hand... not so much.

 

[Stoorm_]

In the morning (my girlfriend sleeps over)
her: dont that feel better?
me: whatt? * confused face*
her: *holds up trimmers* its alot friendlier now
me: oh dear god

i sware to god that was one of the most itchiest experiences of my life, she decided to give a "number 1" trim all over :|

bad times

 

[ace_of_something]

My wife has said many times.
"You always smell like sawdust and clean laundry, I love it"
The really weird part is that I've had many ex's comment that I give of a faint odor like 'dry wood' 'sawdust' or 'fresh laundry'. Like six times.
It baffles me because I don't do woodwork and I've used different, shampoos, deodorants, body washes, and laundry detergents in all of these times yet still am told I smell like this.
I guess at least it's a good smell.

 

[Superhyperactiveman]

Yeah, I'm kind of the guy weird things are said by...

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Me and my GF are both so weird our conversations wrap around to normal.