There is a big Turkey Preventing me from getting to my car for lunch!

[Gavmando]

Dude, you're 28 years old. Drink a cup of concrete and harden the fu*k up. It's a turkey. You're a man. You dont need to kill it. Just be scarier than it is.

 

[Dok Zombie]

Offer it a drink and resolve your differences like gentlemen.

 

[Conman94]

If a turkey is blocking your path to lunch, kill it. With fire.

 

[silasbufu]

It keeps pacing around my car and gobbling at me. It wont let me near it!
What should I do? Should I attack? Or try and distract it to run by and get in?
I think it can smell my fear.

Do you have a phobia for turkeys ? >.>

 

[madmatt]

F*CK

SH*T

WHO LET THE DOOM-TURKEY OUT OF ITS CAGE?

DELETE THE PHOTO. THE IMAGE OF A DOOM TURKEY BECOMES A DOOM TURKEY (or something like that...)

I'm afraid this is it, gentlemen. The Doom-turkey has escaped. Not even jesus riding on the back of Cthulu using a nuclear submarine for a club can defeat that thing. The Apocalypse is nigh

It's been fun

Buenos Noches

this one understands. you cant out intimidate a creature that gobbles naturally. i mean for gods sake it GOBBLES man! GOBBLES. What other creature does that?!

 

[JWAN]

It keeps pacing around my car and gobbling at me. It wont let me near it!
What should I do? Should I attack? Or try and distract it to run by and get in?
I think it can smell my fear.

I see that and raise you a:

Then put it in your freezer and make it for thanksgiving.

 

[Alex The Rat]

Are flamethrowers legal in your state?

 

[JWAN]

If a turkey is blocking your path to lunch, kill it. With fire.

Its a ruse, the turkey IS the lunch and his sandwich is stopping him from eating the turkey!

 

[The Diabolical Biz]

WHO LET THE DOOM-TURKEY OUT OF ITS CAGE?

DELETE THE PHOTO. THE IMAGE OF A DOOM TURKEY BECOMES A DOOM TURKEY (or something like that...)

*cough* Dr Who *cough* if that is what you were referring to...

And I agree, it's coming. Hide in the bunkers.

 

[SantoUno]

Wow, that is just fucking hilarious.

Thank you, you just made my day.

Ok seriously how bad can it be? Can't you just get to your car from a different direction? I doubt the turkey will go all the way around the car to get you. Why would it attack you in the first place?

Oh wait, is your lunch a turkey sandwich?

Well, I guess it's their time for revenge.

 

[JWAN]

F*CK

SH*T

WHO LET THE DOOM-TURKEY OUT OF ITS CAGE?

DELETE THE PHOTO. THE IMAGE OF A DOOM TURKEY BECOMES A DOOM TURKEY (or something like that...)

I'm afraid this is it, gentlemen. The Doom-turkey has escaped. Not even jesus riding on the back of Cthulu using a nuclear submarine for a club can defeat that thing. The Apocalypse is nigh

It's been fun

Buenos Noches

this one understands. you cant out intimidate a creature that gobbles naturally. i mean for gods sake it GOBBLES man! GOBBLES. What other creature does that?!

Me, when I hunt turkeys

 

[JWAN]

Wow, that is just fucking hilarious.

Thank you, you just made my day.

Ok seriously how bad can it be? Can't you just get to your car from a different direction? I doubt the turkey will go all the way around the car to get you. Why would it attack you in the first place?

Oh wait, is your lunch a turkey sandwich?

Well, I guess it's their time for revenge.

Take it from me, Turkeys are assholes. They have big spiky spurs and are territorial, they also have incredible eyesight. I had to smack one with the end of my shotgun when I was deer hunting because it kept running after me.

 

[Blimey]

Well you don't have to go out for lunch,it's right outside.

My thoughts exactly, good sir. Thanksgiving hath come early!

 

[Kiefer13]

Have you tried reasoning with it?

[sub][sub]Also, this thread is hilarious.[/sub][/sub]

 

[-IT-]

You are a human (at least thats what I presume), it is a turkey. You stronger, faster and smarter! Just walk to your car and slap the damn thing if it gets near you!

 

[iPK_Screamo]

omfg a turkey

start clucking like a chiken?

 

[Not-here-anymore]

This thread is probably the funniest thing I've seen in the last month or so...
But seriously, turkeys are mean bastards. I was walking my dog (she's a boxer, and therefore bigger, heavier and presumably stronger than a turkey) when I ran into one; it started glaring at us and gobbling. I looked at my dog, my dog looked at me, and we ran away in silent agreement. I haven't told anyone I know, because, frankly, I'm a little embarrassed. I think the same goes for Lily, but I don't speak dog, and so can't ask her.

 

[Kie]

What. So let me get this straight, there's a turkey in a carpark and it's blocking you from getting to your car...My god. Gentlemen, we have found the Alpha Turkey, ruler of all turkeys that will bring a new age upon us. This man is SCREWED.

 

[coldshadow]

whatever you do, GET IT ON CAMERA!

 

[Dr Ampersand]

Suicide is your only option.