There is a big Turkey Preventing me from getting to my car for lunch!

[Chester41585]

DO not get into your car. There will be more waiting for you in there. Clever girls...

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Wait. So I had to camoflauge myself, be as silent as a church mouse, stand still for half an hour, ticks bite me and I still don't catch a turkey? There's one right in front of you! People get all the luck.

I get it! You made humor regarding the social outlook on society as a whole.

OT: Throw a cat at it. Cats are the Turkey's natural predator prey.

Fixed that for you...

 

[Composer]

You should PM a mod and report the fucker.

you sir made my day

in all seriousness
run right up to it and punt it
n hope u have enough force to hurt it
but first check and see if its kid or sumthing is under ur car

 

[Senor Smoke21]

Just kick it. Kick it right in the head!

 

[Skuffyshootster]

Throw a co-worker at it.

Sitting behind a computer all day will have had the effect of atrophying their muscles, making them lighter and less likely to fight back (effectively).

Barring that, rush the bastard. Make sure you pray to your deity of choice beforehand, though.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

I didn't think you were serious...

Erm...

You could try distracting it with some Turkey food

Erm...

What do Turkeys eat?

 

[Lt.Snuffles]

Isn't there the walk round it option?

 

[splatterguy734]

You should PM a mod and report the fucker.

you sir made my day

in all seriousness
run right up to it and punt it
n hope u have enough force to hurt it
but first check and see if its kid or sumthing is under ur car

Always nice to amuse someone now splatterguy awwwwaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy *hurls self out of a wiindow*

 

[MurderousToaster]

Kick it. Seriously, they weigh like 30 pounds and a solid kick should drive it away. They can't really hurt you unless they peck your eyes.

Is it strange that whenever someone says "Kick it" I think of the Beastie Boys?

 

[Vash108]

Well I went out to scare him off and it worked pretty easy, but after I returned from lunch and went inside. I looked out the window and there he was.

Watching
Waiting
Gobbling
Ready for round 2.

 

[Fenreil]

Heh, this reminds me of a story on Nuklear Power about a Opossum hanging around in front of somebody's dorm room. They threw a bottle of Gatorade at it, but the little bastard just drank it.

Long story short, don't use food! You'll only encourage it!

 

[conflictofinterests]

You've found your lunch. No need to get to the car. >

QFT

 

[Blindswordmaster]

And they say free lunches are a myth.

 

[EchetusXe]

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favourite thread on the forum.

I really have seen it all now.

 

[The Eggplant]

So...should we just assume that we're never going to see Vash again after tonight? That devious little fuck is after your blood now, mate.

[sub]Also, best thread in the entirety of the space-time continuum.[/sub]

 

[madmatt]

F*CK

SH*T

WHO LET THE DOOM-TURKEY OUT OF ITS CAGE?

DELETE THE PHOTO. THE IMAGE OF A DOOM TURKEY BECOMES A DOOM TURKEY (or something like that...)

I'm afraid this is it, gentlemen. The Doom-turkey has escaped. Not even jesus riding on the back of Cthulu using a nuclear submarine for a club can defeat that thing. The Apocalypse is nigh

It's been fun

Buenos Noches

this one understands. you cant out intimidate a creature that gobbles naturally. i mean for gods sake it GOBBLES man! GOBBLES. What other creature does that?!

The best thing about Turkeys is that they are one of the few animals who always respond when you do a poor imitation of their call. Try it. Next time you see a turkey, just go "Goobagoobagobbagobba!" and they do this

this is epic! but you taunt them at your peril!

 

[Zannah]

See, this is why we keep all kinds of medieval weaponry in our flat.

[sub]That, and burglars / Zombies of course [/sub]