Want to have fanged six-eyed walruses, spurting blood from their every orifice, howling like the souls of the damned, attack you? There's an app for that.
Got up on the wrong side of the bed and cracked your skull on the wall? Yeah, it would make me a bit surly.
There's also an App for that, somewhere, can't remember where.
Deathly, agonising lonliness? Feel the darkness eating away at your very being? Your soul being enveloped by the vast growing hordes of demons, torturing you all the time? You're past the point you need an iPhone, you poor, poor bastard.
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