Things you are unlikely to hear a game developer say?

[Luke_446]

"Because our game is so awful we will no longer charge an extortionate amount for it and will improve it with free downloadable content we were hoping to sell as a sequel"

 

[Karnage]

"We made so much money off of the first game developed, we're not going to make any crappy carbon-copies of that game, but we're going to just patch it and make it oh, idk.... actually enjoyable"

 

[Axolotl]

"I mean it's nice that your site tries to attract morons and make them feel at home, but shouldn't you be educateing them too? It wouldn't take much to double their IQs."

At least I thought I'd never see anyone insult a site that gave them an interview.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I feel like I'm on Mock The Week.

"Hey, lets not give this British character a typical southern accent!"
"Pencil thin and big breasts? No way! realistic all the way!"
"That woman should be wearing more clothing."
"How about we put all the content on the game instead of making people pay nearly £50, then asking them to fork out more money?"

 

[Luke_446]

"We haven't fixed all the bugs yet and we probably never will"

"It can be played on all platforms which is why were saying f*** off to PC gamers requests for dedicated servers"

"we have found that it is much more lucrative to develop hacks for our games than improve them."

 

[Luke_446]

"people told me the real world was hard but i've worked for Activision for 5 years and im yet to see a year where we haven't screwed people over with half done jobs"

 

[Luke_446]

"Empire total war will totally work without bugs or Battle AI fucking up after this patch"

"to obtain the most realistic battle scenarios we made sure that the opposition only attacks 1 unit at a time like they would unless they're a native American tribe who will all charge at once and dissolve tactics into one giant melee battle"

 

[Gavmando]

"We're re-developing Alex Kid in Miracle World for the 360, PS3 and the Wii. It will have the same basic gameplay, but it will be in 3D. The 3D glasses will come with the box. We expect to outsell the entire GTA series."

 

[cheese_wizington]

"I think that we should open beta test, therefore when we release the game, it won't be a buggy piece of shit." -Infinity Ward Dev.

 

[Excludos]

I'm going to go the opposite direction and take every quote here that HAS been said..

"We are pleased to announce that (insert game name here) will be released on time!"

- EA, every game

"This game is awful, lets fix it - rather than releasing it as is"

- Blizzard and Valve with pretty much every single game.

"Yeah, you're right. That was a bad idea."

- Blizzard about Starcraft: Ghost

I...what? Uhm... "We're happy that people loved our game, but we don't do sequels, we have plenty of original ideas" ?

- Tim Schafer hasn't said that, but he damn nearly could have.

"Our publisher has basically given us the go-ahead to take all the time and resources we need to polish this game up right. They want a good game as much as we do."

- Again, Blizzard and Valve.

"Our Game has been on the market for 1 year and we have decided to stop multi-player support and have stopped releasing patches and bug fixes because we have decided to move on to a new project"

- EA did not just announce that a few weeks ago..oh wait

"We delayed the game for the lulz"

- I'm starting to wonder if Valve is doing that with EP3.

 

[Withard]

I think the ones we will never hear will be...

"We fucked up"
"It was a bad idea and we were wrong"

 

[Nomanslander]

That Hideo Kojima is a fan of "Twilight."

Oh, wait.

Yeah, I can already see team Raiden and team Snake going at each others throats once MGS: Rising comes out...>>

 

[Sir Kemper]

"We'll get right on patching that!"

 

[Joe_Fitzsimmons]

dont believe the hype

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Duke Nukem Forever is finished.

 

[Abokasee]

"We're going to check thoroughly for bugs and other software issues before we port this game to the PC"

"An RTS designed especially of Consoles" - Whooops thats been done

"We predict substiantal growth in the number of people playing on the PC" - wait thats probably gonna be a publisher...

"We had no idea Modern Warfare 2 would sell this well!"

"We are gonna set this game on the western front; during 1915"

 

[cptRazz]

"we are very excited to tell you DUKE NUKEM FOREVER IS FINISHED!"

Edito: Ninja'd!

 

[rdaleric]

Hi folks, Peter Molyneux here. Just thought i'd tell you a bit about Fable 3........ what's that? oh my word of course I won't set myself a slew of targets that are impossible to achieve! It is basically a re-make of Fable 2