Things you dont say or do at a funeral

[hurfdurp]

If you're forced to sign hymns for some reason, don't try to freestyle them.

 

[ajemas]

To quote Demitri Martin: "I apologize" is the same as "I'm sorry". Unless you're at a funeral.

 

[Legendary Alucard]

Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.

Wow.. AC/DC - Highway to hell is one of the most Commen songs on Funerals....
If i die.. There is gonne be AC/DC and Ozzy Osbourn (Crazy Train)

I had to go to the Funeral of my old boss... (I never seen the guy but we all had to go) the day for the Funeral me and some buddies whent out to grab a drink.. so i was standing with a hangover and said a bit to loud to my friend "I'm starving"...

 

[Sinspiration]

"Wow! You're all acting like he died!"

... Wait are you saying thats what you dont say? Or is there something else going on im missing?
EDIT: I get it lol. Just had a blond moment.

I was worried for a second there xP

 

[RobCoxxy]

"Ding, dong, the ***** is dead"

"Finally"

"Thank fuck"

"Can anyone here honestly say they'll miss him?"

I have so many of these!

 

[Eumersian]

"Thank you Cleveland!"

Or wherever you are. Never yell that at a funeral.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

God, these are fucking awful. xD

 

[Dags90]

Take pictures of the deceased. It's generally taboo to take pictures of the deceased and doing it in front of the family is usually a major social faux pas. My father did it once at his best friend's funeral and I remember how horrified I was when he did it because of the breach of social conduct.

 

[Glaive_21842]

Funeral jokes start at 1:26

 

[Palademon]

Ask xkcd. It knows.

 

[Catalyst6]

Never show up drunk........

Yeah, you only get drunk at the funeral...

OT: I need his ears to complete my quest...

You know what they say, there's no party like a wake.

OT: To the widow, "So... single now, eh"?

 

[spartan1077]

sing this- although I sang it at my Great Grandma's funeral when I was younger but I don't take death to be a bad thing anyways.

 

[Yggdraz0r]

Walk in with a Cannibal Corpse tshirt.

What they said I had to dress up black!



(I still want to head to a Just-been-born-'party' with a Butchered at Birth t-shirt. Image below)

Spoiler

 

[etherlance]

At your best friends mothers funeral:

"You know something guys?.......I still tap that arse"

Or:

"Hey that prick still owes me money!!"
*Jump into the coffin and start beating the corpse while looting the pockets*

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

Believe it or not, but my friendWANTs me to say "he was a fucking great guy, and this is turning into a real asshole of a day" at his funeral, like, in front of everyone. I'm cool for it because I get it (it's a line from the Macgruber movie, which he REALLY likes). But I don't think his family would be cool with it.

Funnily enough, I just watched that movie last night.

I wouldn't mind if someone said I was a "fucking great guy" at my funeral.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

"You're next!"

Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.

Actually, I might add that to the playlist for my own funeral...

 

[Vyper1X]

Don't say this to a widow if her husband died of old age

"I bet this is as stiff as he's been in years"

 

[DarthFennec]

Switch the body when nobody's looking. I didn't check to see if someone already said that.

Oh, and plagiarize your eulogy, preferably with something relatively well known. It helps here to specifically state that you came up with it all on your own.

 

[Vyper1X]

This thread puts the fun in funeral.

 

[Free Thinker]

"If he/she comes back as a zombie...I call dibs in killing them."