Things You Have Never Seen In A Game

[TheDarkestDerp]

1- Someone taking a shit while running at full speed.

2- A Playable character which is a colostomy bag.

3- An inflatable woman on a stick as a equipable weapon.

4- The Ork is the smart one of the group...

5- Any character farting during a tense moment of a cutscene.

6- A full-contact deadly battle ala Twisted Metal set in the produce section of Wal-Mart.

7- A chainsaw-wielding left-handed dental floss salesman from Wyoming.

8- Evidence of Liberace's involvement in the C.I.A.

9- A CGI cutscene of any character's honeymoon evening.

10- An FPS allowing you to transform enemies into replicas of Wayne Newton, Neil DIamond or M.C. Hammer.

 

[Kumomaru]

A moral choice game where both endings are evil to some degree (like how ME and ME2's endings were both 'good', just different degrees of it)

 

[zHellas]

In-game sex. Also, a Native American character that isn't a stereotype.

Grand Theft Auto 3 & San Andreas, also Mass Effect & GTA IV, but the latter two don't really focus(show) it but you know it happens.

And the Native American one: Red Dead Redemption.

 

[Daffy F]

Realism. I'd like just one game to destroy the save file and disc whenever you die just once.

The trouble with that is it probably wouldn't sell well. You know, do 3 months of game time in training, then do a week's service in Afghanistan doing nothing, and then getting shot in the shoulder, spend 8 months in hospital, then get sent home after being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I wouldn't buy it.

 

[Murlo]

Realism. I'd like just one game to destroy the save file and disc whenever you die just once.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Battalion

 

[chickenlord]

An Irish character who isn't a complete stereotype

I've never met an Irishman that wasn't a complete stereotype.

I could say the same about Americans...but I won't

hey what can i say, its kinda hard to find an american that doesn't fit our stereotypes, we love fast food, 60% of use are over weight, we really deep inside want everyone else to be just like us, we are dumb as hell(look at our public schools), and we're ignorant of other peoples beliefs and ways of life... i'd like to think of myself as an exception but hell...i fit most of what i said

 

[BioHazardMan]

Ability to hurt/kill children

 

[Wigglyman]

An Irish character who isn't a complete stereotype

90% of gaming characters are complete stereotypes or cliches.

A game that sold very successly NOT having a sequal.

 

[Wigglyman]

I don't think I've ever seen a game where when you're in a vehicle, you can change the radio station, but I have this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting someone...

GTA series?
Battlefield Vietnam also had a great soundtrack, making the radios in the jeep good fun.

 

[FalloutJack]

Realism. I'd like just one game to destroy the save file and disc whenever you die just once.

Pffft, where's the fun in that? You don't sit down to a game that screws everything up. That's a broken game and you got scammed. In fact, I would go as far as to say that's an sue-able offense. Biggest lawsuit ever.

 

[The Geek Lord]

A game that doesn't have rabid fanwhores ready to shiv you any time you disagree with them about the game. THANK YOU FUCKTARDS FOR SETTING BACK GAMING BY ABOUT THREE CENTURIES.

I'm looking at you, FF7 fanbase. Nay, glaring at you. Even from the depths of hell, I shall stab at thee... or however the line goes.

Realism. I'd like just one game to destroy the save file and disc whenever you die just once.

I think there was one game about giant robots that erased your save file when you died just once. The disc didn't explode, though. I think it was called Steel Battalion. Don't quote me on that, though; I've only heard of it, never seen or played it.

 

[kikon9]

A game where you can allow multiple genre characters to fight at the same time.

 

[Easton Dark]

In-game sex. Also, a Native American character that isn't a stereotype.

Red Dead Redemption, and cut from San Andreas. + Prey

Ability to hurt/kill children

Fallout 1 and 2? I can't remember.

 

[Jroo wuz heer]

a platypus

 

[Grant Hobba]

A first person shooter that isnt trying to be cod4 fair enough it is a good game but... there is only so many times it can be remade



purple flying people eaters

 

[Oz Draconis]

A game where your main character is chosen by a group of people who are seen as morally good to kill a group of people who you are told are morally bad.
but due to a strange series of events, including being *****-slapped so hard you travel through time(repeatedly), you find out that the goodies are unwittingly the baddies and YOU have to team up with your former foes to defeat the ever-growing menace that threatens to destroy the entirety of the universe and the fabric of TIME ITSELF!!!

 

[sageoftruth]

A first person shooter that isnt trying to be cod4 fair enough it is a good game but... there is only so many times it can be remade



purple flying people eaters

Well, that would probably constitute every FPS that came out before Halo. Metroid Prime qualifies too. Kudos to the first Resistance: Fall of Man game as well. Of course, they did slip well into the Halo/Cod formula when they released the sequel.

 

[sageoftruth]

A game where you can allow multiple genre characters to fight at the same time.

It's a stretch but Valkyrie Profile 1 and 2 kind of had that in the battle system, since you only needed one face button to make each character attack.

I also once made the configuration for both controllers the same on a Final Fight emulator, so I could control both characters at once. That was fun.