UPDATED!!!! Is she being selfish to want a baby??
- Thread starter DemonicVixen
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Looking much less like a raving feminist now. Good. I'm glad.Cyberwulf said:
Now who was talking about controlling another human being? I mentioned trust, not control. But that was in the bit you didn't quote, obviously.
If you were talking about a fairly new relationship, I would agree wholeheartedly on the condom thing. And yes, he probably should use one. Given that the girlfriend isn't at all trustworthy.
There is no denying that the bloke is a moron for sleeping with her when he knows that she unprotected, either.
However. I can't agree with you until you finally admit that the girl is being a right **** for doing this. So I guess we'll have a few rides on this merry-go-round of quoting still, eh?
Hahaha NO.
I'm saying that if you personally don't want children, then YOU PERSONALLY are responsible for making sure that doesn't happen. It boggles my mind that people don't understand that this applies to men as well as women.
Kelthurin - I don't use that word. It's misogynistic.
Here's a test for her to try...
he needs to set the alarm to go off at least 4 times each night, and when it does, she needs to get up, slam one of her nipples in a drawer, burn £100, and smear jam and dribble all over one her favorite treasured possessions.
After a week ask her if she still wants a baby.
Essentially tho, I'm with everyone else, she's destroying the relationship for a baby, and she needs to know that she may end up a single mother over this, and not to expect any sympathy as she caused the break up, and he doesn't deserve the responsibility of a child he didn't want and may grow to resent instead of love.
A baby should always be a well thought out, careful decision agreed by TWO people ready to handle a lifetime of responsibility.
Honestly, a lot of people think they want a puppy, until it shits in their shoes, pisses over every piece of carpet in the house and chews up everything you've ever owned.
What you think you want and reality are quite different.
he needs to set the alarm to go off at least 4 times each night, and when it does, she needs to get up, slam one of her nipples in a drawer, burn £100, and smear jam and dribble all over one her favorite treasured possessions.
After a week ask her if she still wants a baby.
Essentially tho, I'm with everyone else, she's destroying the relationship for a baby, and she needs to know that she may end up a single mother over this, and not to expect any sympathy as she caused the break up, and he doesn't deserve the responsibility of a child he didn't want and may grow to resent instead of love.
A baby should always be a well thought out, careful decision agreed by TWO people ready to handle a lifetime of responsibility.
Honestly, a lot of people think they want a puppy, until it shits in their shoes, pisses over every piece of carpet in the house and chews up everything you've ever owned.
What you think you want and reality are quite different.
Technology is advancing so don't you worry your little wittle head about condoms.
Soon there will be a pill for men as well.
In certain countries this would get this woman executed.
Soon there will be a pill for men as well.
In certain countries this would get this woman executed.
And yet, somehow she doesn't have to be responsible for essentially defrauding him. As already noted the decision to use a condom could easily be a joint decision based on trust. In which case he has been responsible via reaching an agreement with his significant other. If she decides to go off the pill without telling him she is violating that agreement and is therefore responsible as its her decision that leads to pregnancy (if indeed it does happen).Cyberwulf said:
Women are also responsible, and since she is the one who made the decision (without consultation with her boyfriend). You can't absolve her of that responsibility.
Your probably going to hate me for this, yay for internet anonymity.DemonicVixen said:
She sounds like an immature, slightly short sighted *****, shes thinking "I will get preggo then he will have to stay with me", he's more likely to walk away 'cos she deceived him and all of a sudden it's "oh shit, I'm a dad".
If she was mature she would sit down and talk it out with an open mind, not a "I must convince him to be a dad" mind set. It will mean they can stay together and if he wants a baby aswell, then where is the problem in waiting?
It is just so illogical to do this.
It also means the next time she gets proper time to herself is when shes about 36! 'cos it's not fair to have a baby then dump it on her mum, so she can carry on being a twenty year old (enjoying life etc)
i mean no disrespect because i know your close with her, but shes acting like an idiot. first of all, shes way too young. most people that young arent mature enough to raise a child and even if she is, having a kid will prevent her from experiencing a lot of things. add on to that the fact that financially, they would probably be completely fucked. also, the fact that shes tricking him into getting her pregnant makes her seem really untrustworthy. i know im being kinda harsh on her but from the outside looking in, this is how the situation is coming off, to me.DemonicVixen said:
I request that we stop the argument over how to stop making a child and focus on the topic of trust here. She is going off the pill with the goal of getting pregnant without telling the guy.
Yes if he is not using a condom he is stupid, but she is planning this with the goal of getting pregnant and perhaps trying to guilt him into keeping the kid she wants.
That is dirty and low. What is she going to do next poke holes in all of his condoms?
Yes if he is not using a condom he is stupid, but she is planning this with the goal of getting pregnant and perhaps trying to guilt him into keeping the kid she wants.
That is dirty and low. What is she going to do next poke holes in all of his condoms?
Is she selfish to want a baby? No. Is she selfish to potentially force one on him without his knowledge? Yes. My advice is to tell her to tell him. If she refuses, then it's your call whether or not to tell him yourself.
1 and 2 I agree with.Kefo said:
3 also until you hit cutting that organ out.
The guy who she's with should just dump her right then and there if he knew any better.
I mean it like this: If your both young and consider having a child. Your not ready, cause A. YOUR YOUNG. I believe in the waiting till after marrige to have a kid, which it can varey depending on a lot of things that I won't list in this post.
9 months.....like having to wait for giving birth to a kid? I'll tell you right now, having a kid is SERIOUS BUSINESS. You have you raise it, nurture it, love it, all that great stuff that should happen in life but doesn't to the few couples out there who do it wrong.
I'll quote Yahtzee for this final sentence to my post. "I think all the ovaries around the world should inflate out of the woman and fly up in the sky like a red balloon parade". This however being said with the rule that it only affects these stupid people around the world.
Reguardless, this is just only my opinion. One in a million all that jazz.
Well, I think it's past selfish for your friend not to tell her boyfriend something like that. Babies take a lot of responsibility and, almost if not just as importantly, resources- like time and money, which most 20 year olds don't have nearly enough of.
If she wants a baby so badly, then she needs to talk it over with him instead of skirting around the issue until it happens without his consent. That's not fair to him and I wouldn't be surprised if it caused at least some sort of rift in their relationship, especially considering he gave a perfectly reasonable explanation for not wanting a child at this stage.
If she wants a baby so badly, then she needs to talk it over with him instead of skirting around the issue until it happens without his consent. That's not fair to him and I wouldn't be surprised if it caused at least some sort of rift in their relationship, especially considering he gave a perfectly reasonable explanation for not wanting a child at this stage.
