Useless Superpower

[Gritimo The Odd]

The ability to read peoples minds, only when they fart.

 

[2733]

I can read peoples minds, but only when they are thinking about boobies.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

My power would be able to hold one cup's worth of liquid in my urinary track. Bathroom.... AWWWWWWAAAAAAYYYYYY!

 

[fooddood3]

The ability to shapeshift into a bucket of water.

Really, what were those twins called from that one TV show? There was a girl and a guy, and when they shapeshifted the guy was always a bucket of water and the girl was always slightly more useful, but not that much more. I can't think of their names nor the name of the show, but those two characters sucked. They were completely useless.

Also, I would love the ability to teleport like in Jumper. I would never actually draw attention to myself, but I would save tons of money on gas. Teleport into a store, buy what I want, and then teleport out right in front of everyone. Awesome. Who needs secrecy?

Don't remember what they were called, but one could turn into some form of watter, and one could turn into an animal. It was from Super Friends I think.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

The ability to make your bacon disappear :'(

 

[idarkphoenixi]

The ability to shapeshift...into myself!

 

[StormShaun]

The ability to breath oxygen, free oxygento all...

 

[chaos order]

the most useless power would probably be turdomancy

 

[General BrEeZy]

turn invisible only when no ones looking...

 

[Lotet]

immunity to imaginary weapons and powers.

 

[Nickompoop]

I can find objects in a pitch black room with flawless efficiency.

...by using my shins

 

[Tsaba]

They may have been bad, but, he is worse.

seriously, he talks to fish.. unless will ferrell is there to build breathing apparatuses, I think toy man is going to be safe.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

The ability to shapeshift into a bucket of water.

Really, what were those twins called from that one TV show? There was a girl and a guy, and when they shapeshifted the guy was always a bucket of water and the girl was always slightly more useful, but not that much more. I can't think of their names nor the name of the show, but those two characters sucked. They were completely useless.

Also, I would love the ability to teleport like in Jumper. I would never actually draw attention to myself, but I would save tons of money on gas. Teleport into a store, buy what I want, and then teleport out right in front of everyone. Awesome. Who needs secrecy?

Wonder Twin powers activate!
OP: The ability to light myself on fire. But I'm not immune to the fire.

 

[KenzS]

X-ray vision, but you can only see through glass.

 

[Crazed_Puppeteer]

How about half-powers, which takes only one part of a known superpower and throws away the complimentary "other" power people tend to disregard.

The power to pause time, but the inability to start time up again.

The power to cause a storm, but the inability to control it.

The power to shift into anything, but be unable to reason as your former self once you shift into something.

Really, take away the "return to normal" part of the superpower, and you have a useless superpower. There are some exceptions (super strength), but a superpower can also be called useless if it hinders the user's way of life as well, which could easily happen with a power that is active all the time.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Open up console commands, but not know any commands

... Miss you Doomsday Arcade

 

[triggrhappy94]

The ability to change the color of your piss.

apparently there is a energy drink that already does this

Let's just say, Rockstar is the same color going in as it is coming it, but its already yellowish. Just unaturally yellow.

 

[Drakmorg]

Invisibility that only functions when you close your eyes.

Them not being able to see you doesn't give you an advantage if you can't see them.

The only possible use I can think of is being able to take naps in public without looking like a bum.

 

[Hamish Durie]

to get a buzzing sensation up my back whenever someone breaths

 

[bulldogftw]

The ability to make top hats out of thin air