Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[MonkOfDoom]

I am th Fantastic Flatulence!!! With my fantastic peace farts i turn tyrants into unicorns!!!!!

 

[me.vicky]

The ability to keep one birthday candle alight after attempting to blow them out.

 

[Gindil]

I have the power of the Gaijin Stare. No one has seen my stare and lived to tell the tale.

 

[pigmypython]

I have the ability to shit literal bricks...very painful...

 

[gbemery]

The power to dehydrate myself at will.

 

[ZydrateDealer]

Celtic Battle Rage...sounds cool but really there's no application for it in the modern world imagine going into a psychotic rage at work would because your co-worker stole your favourite pen!
Well there's also my power to summon any creature...within a two meter radius to my side...they don't obey me though

 

[willsham45]

I can scare anyone who fears big, long haired beard, hairy men simply by looking at them.

 

[replingham153]

I can fly, but only when I'm in an Airplane
I can teleport, but only on a blue moon on the first 3 days of July
I can walk through walls, but only if the wall has a giant hole in it.
I can read your thoughts, but only when your thinking about Bananas.
I can eat an entire human head in one bite, but there must be no human flesh on it.
I can jump to the moon, but only if the earth is on fire.
I can make loads of these, but only when my fingers stop dying on my from the constant typing.

 

[InnerRebellion]

I can shoot pen ink out of my index finger.

 

[ShrooM_DoughKiD]

When in a fist fight, your punches will heal your opponent, not damage them. at all. ever.

You would make a good doctor, that isn't useless at all!

It wouldn't apply in general, its only activated when in a fist fight.

 

[Barrett0]

Mine would be the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away

With mind bullets!

 

[archaicmalevolence]

the ability to read minds but only my own

 

[RoyalSorceress]

I have the all mighty ability to understand just how stupid things are.

 

[RobThePrezodent]

I'm have a nice day man, and I'm here to wish you a delightful day

 

[Bambi Puce]

I have the power to always be in the way. No, seriously. Just ask my mom... particularly when she's cooking something...

 

[Sindaine]

I can sometimes bring sockpuppets to life.

 

[Littlee300]

When in a fist fight, your punches will heal your opponent, not damage them. at all. ever.

You would make a good doctor, that isn't useless at all!

It wouldn't apply in general, its only activated when in a fist fight.

Inject the patient with a lot of whatever makes them aggressive?

 

[AwesomeNinjaPowers]

The ability to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide