Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[SelectivelyEvil13]

I have the power to occasionally find a penny on the ground... and every once in a while drop a few getting my wallet out... BUT when I have ENOUGH PENNIES... I don't know, maybe buy a gumball or a plastic ring or something.

BUT with that cheap plastic ring... I can punch someone, break the ring, and go to jail while dealing with the hilarious realization that now someone possibly has a piece of fake jewelry lodged in their cheek, making them look just silly.

 

[Tyr-Elhaz]

mate and produce offspring with innanimate objects
create 3 cubic inches of mashed potatoes
summon buddah
literalize street signs (actual street signs required)
create subtitles on whatever I say
solar powered soft glowing
the ability to come up with all of these

 

[ckam]

My right hand has the power to nullify luck... Including my own.

 

[nebtheslayer95]

I can turn invisible, but only if I am playing the tuba and in either my own bedroom or Hong Kong, China.

 

[Cryofthewolf]

The superpower where I can summon dog poop to land on my dinner plate. Gahz.

 

[kommando367]

I can kick myself in the foot.

 

[DarkLight523]

The power to attract very attractive women when I'm already in a committed relationship.

 

[Shemming]

I have the awesome super power of licking my own elbow! now to fight crime. *jumps off chair in attempt to fly*

 

[Axzarious]

Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. I have the ability to completly miss the point, No social skills, a short attention span, get easily distracted and

 

[furry-ryuu-ken]

The ability to jump over a car, get this, WHEN ITS PARKED.
And the ability to come up with stupid names such as Furry-Ryuu-Ken
And i can knee myself in the face!

 

[Lucane]

Turning half invisible (50% opacity)

That would be great for not blocking the T.V. and such when walking past it.

 

[VulakAerr]

I am supernaturally good at getting convenient car parking spaces when I go shopping.

 

[Ziggy the wolf]

the power to become angry over completely stupid people and explode but pass out right after the explosion

 

[Superhyperactiveman]

I have the ability to see things that other people can't see, but only when I'm under the influence of a powerful hallucinogen. I can also fly, but only for about 2.4 seconds. Then I fall back down to the ground and can't fly again for another 20 seconds.

 

[alliedlama]

My useless power is the ability to hover less than a nanometer above the ground.

 

[asgardmothership]

1. The ability to control the movements or action of an onscreen avatar, by just moving my body around in front of the screen. There is no possibility of something being invented which could emulate this.

I call it Tele(vision)-kinesis.

 

[Tanto-chan]

I have the power to absorb massive amounts of useless information, the ability to pick up words in other languages, and the power to memorize thousands of songs but get only one stuck in my head at once replaying over and over again in a loop.

 

[mayney93]

i have the ability to sleep for ages at a time even in loud situations like when my brother decides to play his awful music at incredibly loud volumes