Uwe Boll, director of such gems as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, has recently begun acquiring more video game movie rights. His most recent include Legend: Hand of God, and Zombie Massacre. Zombie Massacre, a Nintendo Wii game still in its infancy, is about driving a convertible through a town full of zombies, with the goal of making it to the center of town alive, so you can detonate the nuclear bomb sitting shotgun. Players will have to drive through town, while shooting zombies to stay alive long enough to blow themselves up at the end of the game. Despite how cool that sounds, Uwe Boll has the power to turn everything he touches into poison. It?s still too early for any news on the film, but I?m sure the movie will feature two trendy male friends, three hot but talentless female characters, and six poorly costumed zombies (creative camera angles and close-ups will be used to give the illusion that there are more zombies).
Where will his evil hands strike next??..a Zelda game??.
Where will his evil hands strike next??..a Zelda game??.
Wait, that's a bit contradictory, right? Oh gods, you're altering spacetime by your sheer existence! AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!