Video Game Survival Guide: Vol I

[JS ibanez]

Feel free to lob grenades and shoot bullets near your friends. Theyre immune to friendly fire

All valves must be turned, all switches must be switched.

With enough bullets shot into it any vehicle will explode.


When to move and when not to move:

If you are being shot at by enemies there will be no end to them until you move a few feet forward to the next bit of cover.

When you suddenly find a large cache of supplies or a door closes behind you of its own accord you are likely about to encounter something particularly nasty. In this situation STAY STILL! nothing will happen EVER if you remain motionless.

 

[Thraxio]

4321. Mounted machine guns have infinite ammo and are immune to your puny attempts at reloading.

 

[waterblender]

52. FPS, Avoid picking up and placing your mouse, instead have a large mousepad so you never have to pick up your mouse and re-position it, picking it up means taking a second to re-position on screen. and in that second...

oh wait, this is semi-serious thread...ummm...uuhhhh

52a. Watch other characters with sporadic head movement, they are re-positioning their mouse, take that split second to take their head off

 

[imaloony]

96. No, your allies will NOT help you.

 

[Jolly Madness]

1337: Never talk about you family, you WILL die.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

97. If you see a shotgun on the ground, it didnt get there by accident, get ready for a fight.

98. If playing a fighting game or a game of intense difficulty assume its never dead until it has no head. Even then double check (im looking at you ninja giaden)

99. If the boss "dies" fairly easily remember that mgiht not be the boss.

100. Never depend on the AI

 

[TheZapper]

1337: Never talk about you family, you WILL die.

1337b: If, by some miracle, you do not die, they will.

 

[thenoticeableshadow]

1001: if you ever see a random glowing needle stab yourself with it and it will give you lighting hands

 

[Thedutchjelle]

4321. Mounted machine guns have infinite ammo and are immune to your puny attempts at reloading.

Omg just when I think no one posted this you ninjad me.

Enemies can hear the difference in the sound of your footsteps and that of their teammates. Do not attempt to sneak up on them.

Do not worry about ear damage or hearing loss when firing firearms, as your eardrums are now made out of steel and the firing sound is brought down to comfortable levels

You can instantly grow much stronger or become much wiser if you grinded enough hostiles to get the right experience

 

[Meggiepants]

736. If you come to an obstacle in your path but you know the way forward is on the other side, look around. There is always something, somewhere that will help you. Even if it is a chicken on a pulley.

737. Sometimes doors will need to be opened by performing useless mini games. Don't think too hard about why no one else was able to surpass these tricky games to get to the loot on the other side.

738. You can only carry $99,999,999. Your wallet can't fit one dollar more than that.

739. Even if the enemy sees you and chases you down, if you hide long enough, he'll forget you were ever there.

740. Enemies have a set pattern they never deviate from. Use this to your advantage when you plan to stab someone in the back.

741. It doesn't matter if you are sliced by a long sword, shot with a plasma rifle, lit on fire or chewed half to death by zombies. No matter how grievous, all your wounds can be repaired with a potion/stimpack/health poultice/first aid kit.

742. All townsfolk are now idealistic communists. Anything useful you can find in their houses is yours to take. Shopkeepers on the other hand, are capitalist bastards, and will charge just a little more than you have for everything.

743. No matter how awesome the armor and weaponry you find in this town is, the next town will always have something better.

744. All mushrooms are now magical.

745. Plan accordingly. No matter how many grunts you kill, their will always be more.

746. When you think you have overcome the gamepocalypse, and you think peace has covered the land, remain vigilant. There is always a sequel.

 

[asgardmothership]

747. Upon finishing a long and arduous trial, you may find your surroundings suddenly become more detailed, the gun in your hand redesigned, and a similar arduous trial now awaits you.

 

[Korten12]

920: If you also beat Demon's Souls you are awesome.

 

[C117]

660: You're no real Pokémon-trainer unless you've caught MISSINGNO.

547: If you see an ally NPC, kill them and grab their ammo.

547b: Unless they are important to the plot. If they are, try to bear with them.

 

[imaloony]

207. In cutscenes, guns run out of ammo whenever the feel like it.

208. It's NEVER impossible.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

1064. 'Cook' your grenades. The enemy AI has gotten smarter and will dodge it easily if you do not.

1065. Do not bother learning other languages, as all people you meet will likely speak your language, despite any evidence to the contrary. If they do not, you may have to read a single magazine of their language to instantly learn it.
WARNING: In rare cases this can also lead to long, drawn out mini-quests that are not worth the effort.

 

[Sovvolf]

1066: Children are immortal.. stay young stay alive.
1067: The most annoying member of your group is also immortal unless the plot says otherwise, just stay quite and don't say a word, just shoot the enemy and don't speak ever, you may encourage the annoying prick to speak some more. Don't even talk after the plot says he's dead now, his corpse may come back from the dead to start a converstation.

 

[ben---neb]

285: Your feeble body of flesh and blood has been replaced by an arbitary numerical based health level.

 

[xbeaker]

Ayou will find weapons, abandoned, in order of killing power.

People / Monseters that require a certain object or wepon to be killed will wait patienly wile you locate that weapon before bothering you.

You can take on an entire army single handed. But when you have gathered a small arsanal, it only takes one person to walk up to you and knock you out and take them all away. When this time comes, there is nothing you can do about it.

Dark rooms contain ninjas. Plan accordingly