Virgin want virgin confliction

[Worr Monger]

Basically... the longer you wait for a good thing.. the less likely you are to find it.

You want a first with someone, but you're 19... your options are likely pretty thin at this point.

I'm not trying to be a dick.. it's the same in my situation. The closer I get to 30.. the less likely I am to find a decent chick that ISN'T already a single mother.

Life's a *****... do what feels right.

 

[BlueGlowstick]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

I'm a girl and I ain't had sex yet. It's mostly by preference because I had a few friends get pregnant in my senior year of high school, including a childhood friend & she gave birth in February. I got a rep when it became known I had a dragonfly tattoo at 16, but I didn't actually give a damn because I wanted the tat & the guys harrassing me were making complete fools of themselves.

 

[Lim3]

Hmm my first time with a virgin it hurt a lot for her. Wasn't romantic, or particularly hot and sexy.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Little tip: most girls aren't technically virgins even if they've never had sex. It's been several years since this was explained to me, so forgive me if I'm a little foggy on the details, but there is something in a woman's vagina that, if it breaks, they are no longer technically considered virgins. And this thing can break just by the girl playing sport or riding a bicycle. In some cultures they don't let girls do much in order to preserve them as pure virgins.

 

[A Free Man]

Here's an idea.
Stop thinking about this. It's creepy.

Also, pretty fucking shallow. You're only concerned with the sex. What happens if you meet a girl who you like and who likes you back, you guys get along great and she seems about perfect but LO AND BEHOLD she had the gaul to not be a virgin? What, do you just drop her?

And besides that, it's stupid and unrealistic. You yourself have said most girls by your age will have slept with somebody at some point. Get fucking comfortable with that fact and stop giving a shit because it isn't important.

A virgin fantasizing about his first time feels perfectly not creepy/normal to me...

Anyone thinking about how much they'd love to deflower a virgin is a little creepy to me.

I sure fucking hope that isn't normal because then everyone is creepy.

That sounds a bit dumb, you make it out as if the OP is some kind of sex fiend trying to ruin innocent girls..... When really he is just a guy who is scared of being thought less of if his first partner has had other potentially better partners before him. Also if fantasizing about your first time having sex is weird then yes every single person in the world except maybe you as an absolute weirdo : )

OT: I am sort of in the same boat as you I kind of think it would be a nice experience to share with someone else. I don't know why, I'm not religious in a big way despite being brought up with it but I just think even if there is nothing cerimoniously special about your first time it is probably something you would remember for the rest of your life so why not do it exactly how you would like. That being said I don't think not being a virgin is a reason to dump someone as that to me sounds really horrible. I guess I don't really know you just have to go with your gut, take what everybody has said here as advice but in the end make your own decision, after all it is your life.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Here's an idea.
Stop thinking about this. It's creepy.

Also, pretty fucking shallow. You're only concerned with the sex. What happens if you meet a girl who you like and who likes you back, you guys get along great and she seems about perfect but LO AND BEHOLD she had the gaul to not be a virgin? What, do you just drop her?

And besides that, it's stupid and unrealistic. You yourself have said most girls by your age will have slept with somebody at some point. Get fucking comfortable with that fact and stop giving a shit because it isn't important.

A virgin fantasizing about his first time feels perfectly not creepy/normal to me...

Anyone thinking about how much they'd love to deflower a virgin is a little creepy to me.

I sure fucking hope that isn't normal because then everyone is creepy.

That sounds a bit dumb, you make it out as if the OP is some kind of sex fiend trying to ruin innocent girls..... When really he is just a guy who is scared of being thought less of if his first partner has had other potentially better partners before him. Also if fantasizing about your first time having sex is weird then yes every single person in the world except maybe you as an absolute weirdo : )

OT: I am sort of in the same boat as you I kind of think it would be a nice experience to share with someone else. I don't know why, I'm not religious in a big way despite being brought up with it but I just think even if there is nothing cerimoniously special about your first time it is probably something you would remember for the rest of your life so why not do it exactly how you would like. That being said I don't think not being a virgin is a reason to dump someone as that to me sounds really horrible. I guess I don't really know you just have to go with your gut, take what everybody has said here as advice but in the end make your own decision, after all it is your life.

Now I've never had sex, but I'm pretty sure you can't tell someone is a virgin unless you actually ask them. It's not like she's going to take her clothes off, and she'll be glowing red down there to indicate whether or not she has had sex before.

This over-romantized fantasy that two virgins will get together and rose petals will fall from the sky as they do it the first time is a load of crap. If you truly love someone, there sexual encounters prior to you don't mean a lot. Just remember, after their first time with you, they're no longer a virgin.

 

[O maestre]

the only way that is going to happen at your age is if you also intend to get married to said hypothetical virgin. there are some religious girls who will not put out until the honey moon, so you better be prepared to spend the rest of your life with some religious nut.

just get laid dude sex is not that big a deal when you get around to it...the longer time you go without it the more you obsess over it

 

[NotSoNimble]

It's like asking someone who has never worked on a car before, to repair your vehicle.

It's just not a good idea.

I don't approve of the OPs' idea on this one.

 

[Chewster]

First: virgins, as a rule, don't know what the hell they are doing (not always, I realize). As such, it is advisable to find someone who has been around the block at least one other time. When I lost my virginity, it wasn't awkward or difficult or messy, precisely because the girl I was with had much more experience then I did. This isn't a universal though, just my personal experience.

As to your second point: being a virgin has absolutely no bearing on this. My first girlfriend (and serious relationship for that matter) had not experienced many things that I gave her, relationship and sex wise. Don't assume that because a girl has a bit of experience, she will know everything and that you two won't be able to explore the wonders of sex together. Also don't assume that because she is a virgin that she will be better suited for being in a long term relationship.

Third: I don't know, get out there and look harder or accept that your first time won't be with a virgin. Frankly, if that is the only quality you are looking for, you're headed for disaster. If a proper relationship is what you're after, find someone who you like and who likes you back, don't worry about how many guys she's been with and take it from there.

 

[chowderface]

The fact that the reason you want a virgin ISN'T "I would really love to know for a fact that I'm not going to get herpes" makes this whole discussion a slightly creepy exploration of your fetishes, OP. Just putting that out there.

 

[ScorpSt]

It can work, just as long as neither of you expect it to be great. My first time was with a virgin as well. It was awkward and didn't end in sex. The next time we did it though, things were better. Each time we got better until I was finally able to give her an orgasm.

Here's the thing, it never would have reached that point if we didn't love and trust each other. It didn't matter that we were both virgins (ok, technically the first attempt would've gone better if she hadn't been) because we were together and we knew each time that we'd be able to better next time.

What I'm saying is, don't get caught up on the whole virgin/not-virgin thing. Find a girl, fall in love, and have the first of what will [hopefully] be many more nights with her.

 

[orc1231515]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

Had the same problem but I got lucky but that wsa a coincidence. so I got to agree with the rest, you're overthinking it.

 

[DanDeFool]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

I'm not saying you should go trolling for people with experience, but to actually aim for such a catastrophe...

Oh, the humanity.

Yeah. I mean like there's going to be blood, and screaming, and blood, and crying, and it's going to be REALLY emotionally weird afterward... I hear girls get really clingy if it's their first time.

I mean, the only real benefit is near 100% guarantee of no STDs, but other than that...

And then there's the blood... Just... no.

Frankly, you're probably going to have a hard enough time just finding someone you like enough, and who likes you enough, that you actually want to have sex with each other. You're much more lucky to find that in a partner. If you disregard those factors because she's not a virgin, you're both an idiot and a dick.

And if you don't want to look like you're too inexperienced, read a book about how to do the sexing, and buy yourself a Fleshlight or something.

Bottom Line: There are better ways to go about that than, you know, RUINING YOUR LIFE.

 

[O maestre]

I know completely how you feel... I am the same as you and i am 20... I dont want to go out and meet women who have "slept around" so to say, I want someone who is experiencing this for the first time, because i want it to be special, so me and for her. whats so special about the 10th + time youve done it? the first is something that will remain with you, and i want no regrets

[snip] I'm not religious in a big way despite being brought up with it but I just think even if there is nothing cerimoniously special about your first time it is probably something you would remember for the rest of your life so why not do it exactly how you would like.

the whole "first time will be something you remember for the rest of your life" thing is not entirely true, in the sense that the first time will not be a defining part of your memories. what will stay with you forever is that perfect moment of tenderness and passion between you and your girlfriend, which will be a combination of your collective sexual experience, affection, urge to please each other and most importantly time. like everything else in life, the perfect moment will come with time... in essence the sooner you get started the sooner you meet the other requirements the sooner you can begin searching for that perfect someone to share that moment with.

like is said in my previous post sex is not that big of a deal, its the person your with, and it doesn't matter if they have been with 0 or a 100

unfortunately all good things come to an end, eventually you will lose the passion, lose the tenderness, and even the affection....one side realizes they have had enough, and it ends in a depressing separation and a sensation of utter negativity. which will, much like the perfect moment, be in your memories for the rest of your life. despite the mental anguish its something you never regret, no matter how much it hurts when its over. in the same way the universe always seems to balance itself out, love and misery go hand in hand, anything else would be unrealistic

 

[Jonabob87]

It's way more important you find someone you really care about than that you find someone who's never had sex before. Only settling for both will mean a loooong time of waiting for someone to come along, when the fact that a girl has had sex before is irrelevant to her character.

It's better with someone you love anyway, and by extension shouldn't that also mean it's better to give that person your first time?

That's my 2 cents anywhoo.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

I'm not saying you should go trolling for people with experience, but to actually aim for such a catastrophe...

Oh, the humanity.

He's right.
Think of it this way:
Are you going to learn physics from Steven Hawking or the Situation?

I honestly can't understand half of what Hawking's voice synth actually says, so I'll go with the Situation

whatever that is

 

[similar.squirrel]

No. This is creepy, even to think about. Don't be preoccupied with virginity, be it your own or somebody else's. Have sex in your own time, but don't go out looking for 'unspoiled' women. First of all, creepy. Second of all, experience on her behalf will make the whole thing a lot less awkward.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Nothing sexier than a guy with checklist.

 

[Infernalic]

Also, pretty fucking shallow. You're only concerned with the sex. What happens if you meet a girl who you like and who likes you back, you guys get along great and she seems about perfect but LO AND BEHOLD she had the gaul to not be a virgin? What, do you just drop her?

This. So much.

Fuck sake, dude. It shouldn't matter if she's a virgin or not.

1- Here is a very good rule of thumb for hooking up with people in the future: Don't think about their earlier partners. If she has had sex with someone before, she's had sex with someone before. Too bad. Thinking about "does she regret it" is just... intrusive and unnecessary

2- First, let me state this:
I am a very, very, VERY promiscuous person. The girl I am currently dating was a virgin before she met me. We're exploring together, and she's shown ME things I didn't know about my own body. Every single person you meet has something new and interesting to share.

But I gotta say. Virgin + Virgin = Really, really bad first sex.
You have no idea what to do, and it's really awkward. Just... take my word for it. I know. It's bad. Really, really bad.

3-This quote of yours:
"now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want" just makes me cringe. SO. WHAT. IF. SHE. KNOWS. MORE!?

Boohoooo. You're not as knowledgable as her, yet. Who cares? Seriously? Is this some "men are supposed to be the dominant one"-bullshit, or what the hell?

Stop overthinking it. Find a nice girl, hook up, bang her. That's it.