Virgin want virgin confliction

[TheLaofKazi]

You're overthinking this shit. Just get in the bed with whomever you want to share it with and have fun. People put too much stock into this first time bullshit.

I think you summed up my thoughts just fine.

Although I'm still a virgin, not really by choice.

 

[Telemachus]

I think your over thinking it man

he is not. he's not alone with that thought. hopefully there are girls out there like that. i wouldn't know yet

 

[Nickompoop]

I feel as if their is a time clock.

It's "there" not "their".

I think your over thinking it man

What he said.

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

I know completely how you feel... I am the same as you and i am 20... I dont want to go out and meet women who have "slept around" so to say, I want someone who is experiencing this for the first time, because i want it to be special, so me and for her. whats so special about the 10th + time youve done it? the first is something that will remain with you, and i want no regrets

 

[captainwolfos]

What's with all the threads with 'virgin' in the title lately?

Bets on if the next virgin thread will be about a ritualistic slaughter.

OT. What difference does it make, really? I'm not sure too many people will even admit to being a virgin, considering bizarrely in this day and age it's not a good thing. Most people I know have had sex long before the legal age. Because they're all idiots. So you may be out of luck on that front, anyway.

You can still have a lasting relationship with a person who has experience in this sort of thing.

Or so I've heard.

 

[Blair Bennett]

I think everybody (well, at least every guy) enjoys their first time. However, once you've gotten even just a little bit of experience under you're belt it will be so much better. If nothing else, you'll be capable of anticipating it realistically which is a pretty important part of it.

This is another thing which I think is sort of ridiculous. Everyone seems to have this preconceived notion that their first time is going to be this magical, meaningful evening full of togetherness and mutual learning; see; fucking Snow White. I mean, I can understand why people would think this. It's pretty much the only representation of people's first sexual experiences that the media likes to portray (at least to my knowledge), but it's just...not going to be true. I'm not saying that anyone should go out and try to lose their virginity just for the hell of it. But, despite the terminology, you don't really 'lose' anything, it doesn't change you as a person, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who's had even minor experience in this field will tell you that it's nowhere near as big a deal as everyone makes it out to be. When you lose your virginity, you lose it. That's it. That said, most will tell you that it's bettered significantly by being in a relationship.

This is the creepiest thread I've seen on this website so far. Did a post actually suggest looking for virgin hangout spots? EWWW...

Have sex with someone who you think is groovy and who thinks you're groovy back. If you create rules other than that, you're going to have unsatisfying relationships. Trust me.

You, Sir, are sort of awesome, and it's not just because your avatar and username are of my favorite Silent Hill character. Every time I've seen your posts on here, however infrequent as that may have been, you've managed to articulate a pretty good means of thinking, and so I salute you. Having said this, I agree with this person. Have sex with people whom you have mutual groovy feelings for.

 

[Formica Archonis]

...Also are 19 year old virgins really rare? I mean I knew on some level, but are they really THAT rare?

Well, the only real way to tell if someone's a virgin is to ask them.

... so yeah, apparently there's not a single teenage virgin. Male, at least.

 

[Magicman10893]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

I'd recommend looking at very religious girls, whether at church or religious internet dating sites or something. Usually they'll probably have the idea of no sex until marriage, which would fit your case, especially since you are looking for a long term relationship.

 

[SodaDew]

I'm not proud to say it but im almost 18 and a virgin, all I can say who cares if you both are a virgin or not if you both like each other enough to make love virginity shouldn't be important. But in the end its your own choice

 

[cyxz]

Your first time will be crappy , even if she has or hasn't any experience , you'll be done really quick feel really embarassed , have one of those bedside chit-chat's with your sexual partner , it'll feel weird and uncomfortable , and if she is a virgin , she'll hurt , depending on her pain threshhold , alot or not that much , my advice is this , if you actually manage to dip that noodle in her duck sausce , be gentle .

 

[Harry Mason]

You, Sir, are sort of awesome, and it's not just because your avatar and username are of my favorite Silent Hill character.

Thanks! I thought I was the only one who loved Harry. There is so much Silent Hill 2 worship in the world that I think people forget about poor old long-suffering Daddy Mason.

Have sex with people whom you have mutual groovy feelings for.

There are very few conceivable ways for this to backfire, I think. Obsession, secret resentment, and people looking to get layed in whatever way possible as some kind of initiation right will just spoil the situation.

I think the recipe for a good relationship is as follows:
A base of good friendship and one helping of sexy lovemaking times, with a sprinkle of maturity as garnish.

 

[RicoGrey]

Just think of all the sex you could be having if you just went out and did it, and got over it. The longer you wait, the less sex you are having.

It is like when you go to the pool for the first time in spring, the water is still cold as a hell frozen over. You can spend 30 minutes easing yourself in with little discomfort, or you can dive in head first with a shock of discomfort that lasts only 30 seconds. That is 29 minutes and 30 seconds longer you have to enjoy the water that day.

I still remember the first time I had sex, but the only time I EVER think about it, is when other people bring up their own experiences, or discuss that they are virgins. I guess it was special, but there have been other sexual escapades that I consider a lot more special than that first time.

 

[justnotcricket]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

Just lose your virignity when it feels right, with the person it feels right with. Overthinking it will only stress you out or give you a complex or something =) And I'd agree with those here who say that losing your virginity with someone who has a little experience is not necessarily a bad thing. That way you don't have *two* nervous people, so things will go a little smoother.

Also, don't worry that a girl who has had sex before is going to be 'too experienced'. There is no such thing. Even if you've 'done it all' (within whatever boundaries you place that), any thing you do is different with a different person. It's the sub-standard lover who doesn't adjust their methods to best please the person they're with. If the girl has relative to you) a lot of experience, it makes your life much easier because she will be able to tell you what is good for her, and you will more quickly feel competent with what you're doing! Plus, you're certain to find a sweet spot or nice thing to do that no-one else has.

Sex is something (particularly for the first time) where you have to be prepared to relax, take things as they, er, come, and be able to laugh at yourself. If you get too wound up about it you'll just end up sabotaging your own pleasure, and that of your partner.

Good luck! =)

EDIT: just read the last line again, about not telling you not to worry about it. Let me put 'don't worry about it' another way: when you actually get to the main event, worrying about relative 'exp' levels should be the last thing on your mind. Your whole attention should be focused on making your partner happy, because that's the best way to feel good yourself and to achieve pleasure. Well, I think it is, anyway.

Also, you cannot worry about people's previous experiences. If they harp on and on about them, this is not healthy - avoid! I know of no faster way to kill a sexual relationship than:
a) Endless (negative) comparisons between you and previous partners by her.
b) Endless neurotic/paranoid questioning about relative skill/pleasure levels from you.
Surefire sex killer there.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

It doesn't matter about that, so long as their tally is below 6 the girl can be respected.

 

[Caligulove]

Virgin on virgin sex is never good. I would wish you luck with that.

Not to mention that first time having sex is actually quite a painful experience for the girl. I think you're a little too focused on the minutia, to be perfectly honest- expectations too high. You need to accept that youre not going to be a manly stallion your first time. You might have 'logged a lot of time in the simulator' so to speak, but it's surprising more difficult than that. Take it slowly and don't be so self conscious, it's harder if you aren't confident in yourself.

You might not be willing to think that you might have a good, long relationship with someone who is already more experienced than you, learning more and more how to better please your partner. Or who knows, you might be a quick learner

First girlfriend I had sex with wasn't a virgin, but we dated up until college started, was a solid relationship. And even with me being a virgin she was still FAR MORE experienced than I was. I can attest to the fact that sometimes its better to just enjoy the ride, pun intended in this case.
For you, I would focus on someone who accepts and is compatible with you in other ways with personality and likes. In the end its more important than how experienced you are with sex- you're looking for something long term, not some one-time thing.

If you're worried about the lasting first impression from your first time with your eventual girlfriend- then use that as motivation to improve after that first time. Learn what she likes- what really drives her wild and then one day spring everything you've learned in a wild storm of manly sexuality and rock her world : ) Hell, even if you arent with the same girl later on, it's still a time to show yourself what you've learned and proving to yourself how silly it felt to take your first time so seriously.

Any memories of some dumb awkward first-experiences will only be recanted solely in times for funny stories, partially laughing at yourself and partially laughing at how absurd the idea of you being awkward at sex is, since you have proved your ability to rock sexual socks off.

Good luck to you, friend.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

I'm 22 now, lost my virginity at 13, but when I was 16 I took a 19 year old guys virginity. And we had an awesome sex life. I wasn't very experienced, but it was enough that we had some sort of guidance, rather than jumping in blindly.
Being someones first is something a lot of people wont ever discover, don't feel to bad if you don't get to.

I don't think zero experience on both parts is the key to a lasting relationship.

Sex isn't the only thing in a long lasting relationship. You need someone who you share interests with, but have enough separate that you don't lose your identity in the process. Anything beyond that is up to choice, really.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

It's not virginity that makes it special, it's the relationship that makes it special. Having a girl look you in the eye and say "I want you inside me" is what makes it special. Learning the unique things that work for her makes it special. Having her want to do things for you is what makes it special. Breaking the hymen is just icky.

Thinking of the most special sex that I've ever had, my first time doesn't rank. That was just an exercise in awkwardness and unrealistic expectations. Sure it was memorable, but really as more of an inside joke.

This. Listen to this person. Everything they said is what I was going to say.

Well, except for this:

1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)

Yes, that does sound rather selfish. You want to make her first time (likely) suck so that you don't have to worry about other guys who've had her first? That's very selfish. That doesn't sound much like love or respect to me.

/*****

Anyway, the very best sex I've ever had has been with my spouse. Love, familiarity, and experience (and creativity) are what make sex great. Find someone you love and screw their experience level (pun not intended, but still pretty funny).

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Don't even worry about experience. The first time is probably not going to be the super special magic moment, but if you're with the right person that won't matter. And thats the bigger thing, just trust your heart.

Just flow, if youre with the right girl and you really care about her (which it sounds to me you want to actually give a damn about the girl) it wouldn't matter even if you colossally fail. Hell I did, not truly my fault, that christmas eve night I learned how painful it was to have sex with an uncircumcised penis. Months later, I'd learn what true pain was and the joys of the Oxycotin high. Same girl is still with me now.

Also having your partner be a little bit more experince isn't that bad.

 

[feeback06]

Most people's first time is pretty bland at best, but when you have sex with different people it's sorta like your first time all over again since your both kinda feel each other out.