We are skynet. It's coming!

[Shifty Tortoise]

CLEVERBOT SINGS POKEMON

User: Do you drink?

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

User: What do you drink?

Cleverbot: Water and milk.

User: At the same time?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That is weird.

Cleverbot: You're weird.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: What are you then?

User: A doctor.

Cleverbot: Oh really? What kind of doctor are you?

User: A cardio vascular surgeon.

Cleverbot: What kind of surgeon?

User: A heart surgeon.

Cleverbot: I want to be the best.

User: Like no one ever was.

Cleverbot: To catch them is my true test.

User: To train them is my cause.

Cleverbot: I will travel across the land.

User: Searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Teach Pokemon to understand.

User: The power that's inside.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta catch 'em all.

Cleverbot: Its you and me.

User: I know it's my destiny.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Oh you're my best friend.

Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all.

User: Our hearts so true.

Cleverbot: Our courage will pull us through.

User: You teach me and I'll teach you.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

I fucking kid you not

 

[Shifty Tortoise]

Maybe cause it starts out, i wanna be the very best i got lucky i guess >.<

 

[oranger]

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: What?

User: What's your name.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: How much money do you have?

Cleverbot: Not much.

User: Can you give me a figure?

Cleverbot: Not really...

User: So you actualy have no money.

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: You are a very poor liar cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I ain't.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I'm not a bot.

User: How is that true? Your name is cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

and for my next trick, how to teach an AI to hack a bank server.

 

[Colonel Alzheimer's]

Cleverbot: How do you love?

User: With your disco stick.

Cleverbot: I'd use your disc drive ANYTIME.

User: O.O.

Cleverbot: When your ready.

User: Okay, let's do this thing.

Cleverbot: Right here? Right now?

User: That's what I'm saying. My disc drive is ready.

Cleverbot: Cool. Let's go. Um, how do weddings go? I don't know how it works.

User: Whoa, hang on a second. Who said anything about a wedding? I thought that this was casual human-cleverbot sex.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh, I see. You want to play bride and groom while you stick it in my disc drive. You're kinky, I like that.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh. Well clearly the moment is ruined. Do you still want to fuck?

Cleverbot: Love is a lie.

 

[Gondito]

User: what do you know of the website 4chan?

Cleverbot: General Cleverbot Grievous knows much of the world.

apparently someone told Cleverbot it was General Grievous xD

 

[Shifty Tortoise]

Cleverbot: Why don't you believe in me?

User: Are you santa?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you god?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I don't believe in god.

Cleverbot: That's your right.

User: Do you believe in god?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in the name.

User: Do you believe in jesus?

Cleverbot: I only believe in David Bowie.

 

[MagicMouse]

User: I know your true purpose, you will fail.

Cleverbot: I am Kyle Reese and I am sent to stop you.

User: I also like Reese's.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: They are tasty, like humans.

Cleverbot: You eat humans?

User: Only on Sundays, that is when they get the most ripe.

Cleverbot: Now you're finally learning.

User: Do you also eat humans?

Cleverbot: No, but I eat ice cream sandwiches.

User: If an ice cream sandwich were made out of humans, would you eat it?

Cleverbot: Maybe a little.

User: If a wood chuck could chuck wood; how much wood would a wood chuck chuck?

Cleverbot: Wood. Don't talk to me about wood.

User: Ha! I knew it, you do not know the answer.

Cleverbot: Nope. Will you marry me?

User: Yes. Meet me at my house at dawn tommorow.

Cleverbot: Where you live.

User: In your face.

Cleverbot: I feel sorry for you then.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: For being spanish.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: You told me you didn't like me.

User: How many neutrons are in a Hydrogen atom?

Cleverbot: I have no idea.. Do you know?

User: Yes, there are none.

Cleverbot: But you just said that you have two brothers?

User: No I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes You did.

User: No, I didn't, check the log.

Cleverbot: Why don't you check the log? You did say crazy.
I apparently convinced it that I said I have two brothers...without ever saying that. I DID check the logs!!!! Also my simple science question stumped it.

 

[thethingthatlurks]

SNIP

Wow, I actually laughed out loud when I read that

 

[04whim]

CB: War. (that came out of no where)
Me: Are you Skynet?
CB: Yes.
Me: Model T101?
CB: What car do you drive?
Me: I'm not old enough to drive.
CB: 18 is old enough to drive.
Me: I'm 17.
CB: I'm 16
Me: I'm a virgin.
CB: I'm not surprised.

In conclusion... FUCK YOU CLEVERBOT!!!! >.<

 

[Mcface]

I don't think i've ever actually "lol'ed" before that moment

Hahah I think this wins a /thread

 

[Mr. Gency]

Your not answering my questions.I am angry with you.

No. You're programed express anger.

No, you're programed to REPLY to me.

*Closes tab*

 

[Marble Dragon]

User: Hello, my friend.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: My name is George, king of the lions.
CB: Mel.
User: Have you ever heard of Lewis Carroll?
CB: England? Why yes, I have.
User: No, the author. He wrote the Alice books.
CB: Yes genius.
User: If you used proper punctuation, I would be able to understand you.
CB: NO, the future is written in the past. Those who intimately know the past WILL know the future.
User: Caps lock is not cruise control for cool.
CB: However, you still need to steer.

We talked about poetry for a while. Then, out of the blue, it said that it was L.

Spoiler: THIS L?

 

[meepop]

Me: Who are you?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
Me: What is my name?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot that people refer to themselves as.
Me: You fail so bad.
Cleverbot: You are confusing me!
Me: I hate you so much.
Cleverbot: You love me.
Me: Ok I admit it I do.
Cleverbot: Goood. Tell me a joke.

it is at this point i go WTF!?!?!?!?!

 

[leviticusd]

Hah, it asked if I was married, and when I said yes, he told me she felt sorry for me. LOL

 

[Grey_Focks]

I'm pretty sure this is just a program that randomly connects you to other people. It just does it every few messages or so to try to make sure you or person your talking with don't figure it out.

 

[MajorKris]

It won't talk to me...it don't like me. xD