Weirdest/Most Horrible Ways You've Been Woken Up.

[Fishbro]

On exercise with my cadet group with the 'enemy' coming down into our sort-of bunker where we were sleeping and letting off a few blank rounds.
Gunfire in an enclosed space turns out to be a pretty good alarm, it was the fastest I'd seen some of the guys moving all week. Myself, I was half expecting it so the shock wasn't so much for me.

 

[Turing]

Back when I went to boarding school me and a friend had stolen some 40% booze when we had kitchen duty. He then then drank the entire bottle by himself and crashed in my room.
Next morning I'm woken up when he tries to put his drunk naked ass on my face after he's pissed on my floor.
I slap him around a bit and then dump him in the showers, but he doesn't even wake up until an hour later when the resident teacher had wake-up rounds and then he was totally clear-headed and didn't remember a thing.

 

[sageoftruth]

Some of you have heard this already, but I once got woken up in a cold sweat by a dream about a huge spider trying to climb up my throat and out my mouth.

 

[CrashBang]

I wasn't there but my mate once told me of a house party he went to where a guy passed out in a chair with his arm above his head, draped over the top of the chair. He woke up suddenly and his arm dropped and broke his nose. Must have been the absolute funniest thing ever!

 

[Moraki]

my painting falling on the light swicth breacking with a loud sound walking me up scared shitless then some how the lights get tured on by that fall so that hurt my eyes mind u i sleep in COMPLET DARK and 1 time i dreamnt that i was in a roller costerr and at the end of it there was no tracks so when i fell in the dream i jumped out of bed that was silly

 

[Nightrunex]

Cat being thrown onto my bed by my sister.
Cat licking my cheek.

One time I got an alarm clock, a classic round faced clock with the classic riiiiiiiiiiing sound like you see in old cartoons or Looney Tunes. I slept through it but it woke my parents on the floor below. So my Dad came up to my room, reset it to a minute behind the alarm then put it on my pillow.

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

My sister literally THREW one of our cats on me from the entrance to my bedroom! And of course she threw the one that was heavier. Landed right on my chest and was freaking out a little due to being thrown across the room right onto me. But then he quickly calmed down and curled up next to me and I went back to bed with a warm fuzzy cat sleeping next to me!

 

[Valksy]

My cat used to try and open my eyes with her paw. Pointy bits and eyeballs are not a good mix.

One morning, she jammed her tongue in my ear. I think I screamed a bit. I hate that.

 

[blackfrancis567]

Drunkenly passing out in the hall till WHAM front door to the head by the guy I live with

Being woken up in the middle of the night by the same guy and his misses stuffing chips in my mouth

Or the worst I've given was my mate spilling water on my bed when she fell asleep I woke her up rubbing her nose in it asking "You pissing my bed?"

 

[revolutionaification]

A couple of times I've thought I heard someone coming up the stairs to my room (I'm the only one on this floor) and flung myself out of bed onto sharp objects only to find that it's just one of my cats.

Or there was that time that right after waking up feeling refreshed I hopped out of bed onto my feet and promptly crumpled to the floor. Turns out I'd slept on both my legs all night and they were totally numb by the time I tried to get up.

 

[PureChaos]

being jumped on by my dog. he's cute and cuddly and all but at 5:30am not so much

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

back when i was younger, my cat slept next to me, partially on my face, and i am deathly allergic to them, so i woke up with my eyes glued shut from having a horrible allergic reaction, it was terrifying.

also my uncle thought it would be hilarious to drop a brick of dry ice on my bare back when i was sleeping once, freaked me the fuck out in the second or so i was waking up.

 

[Tallim]

When I was a teenager, my family was rebuilding an old farmhouse so I had an entire trailer as my "bedroom". It was quite old however. One winter I got woken up one night by the roof collapsing and dropping a load of freezing water directly onto my bed........

Although on a Karmic level I once got woken up in a very nice way by my girlfriend ;P

 

[axeman157]

Waking up to my mom berating me for my room being a mess(it was too.)

 

[MarcusD357]

I was sleeping on my side facing the wall away from my door, my brother bursts in wearing a scream mask and carrying an air soft Uzi and proceeds to shoot me in the back from close range. I wake up very startled and in a fair bit of pain and roll over to his rather shocking mask in my face. It was not a happy Halloween morning.

 

[Strixvaliano]

I have a bookshelf next to my bed. One of the heavier cats in the house sleeps up there all the time. She dove off the bookshelf and landed straight on my jaw (I possibly have TMJ already but I'm to stubborn to see a doctor to check it out.) It Hurt like hell, and scared the crap out of my cat when I sprung up, also couldn't really chew food for a day afterwards since it hurt so much.

 

[Artina89]

I was visiting a friend in New York and I was sleeping off the jet lag in the front room, and my friend thought it would be absolutely hilarious to turn on the TV at full blast to wake me up. I tell you, waking up to the sound of Richard Simmons and one of his workout programmes was one of the the scariest damned things...

 

[Pigeon_Grenade]

i Had a kid i was Babysitting climb on my headboard and do a Flying Elbow from there- To my Crotch

 

[DannyJBeckett]

Not particularly horrifying, or too weird, but:

I got woken up to a dude I was sharing a tent with (we were camping) literally crouched over my head, waiting for me to wake up so he could ask to borrow some socks.

The shock nearly sent me clean through the roof of the tent in fright.