What is Love? Does it exist?

[Woodsey]

I think it's rather silly to think that love doesn't exist, considering so many people have made such a hullabaloo about it for the last several thousand years of documented civilization.

[sub]Glances at religion.[/sub]

OT: Love is when you want more than sexy time from someone. As such, we may conclude that love is stupid.

 

[Jamous]

I was engaged to this female I knew. We'd been together for two years. She spent her time volunteering at a nearby animal sanctuary and going to school to be a vet technician. She was going to be next in line to manage the animal sanctuary. However, her uncle, the current owner, was later found to have taken funds to be used for the animals that SHE had generated (she would make jewelery, sell it, re-buy materials, and donate the rest to the sanctuary) to buy additions to his home. The animals were behind on their shots. She lost sight of what her future would be, but she knew she couldn't stay there. So... She left. Everything. She moved from Maine to California to simply leave everything behind in her devastation.

This left me behind, as well. We kept in contact by email, but when she finally admitted she was never coming back, I was distraught. Eventually, she stopped contacting me. Until the very end she maintained that she still loved me, but it simply was not to be.

A lie. That's all it was. I felt like a fool, and still feel ashamed for buying into it so much. I honestly believed that love was real, and that I had obtained it. It was, however, all disingenuous. People are inherently incompatible. I got caught up in it, a foolish mistake. I should have known better.

My utmost condolences; I am truly truly sorry for you. I hope you recover from this.
Also, I'm not trying to be over friendly or anything. I'm simply offering condolences to a fellow Escapist who seems to be in a bad way.

It's humans lust to have sex, it's over glorified into this wonderful thing.

And this is the wrong answer. I love my family and my closest friends almost as much as my girlfriend, and I really don't want to have sex with them, I'm afraid; also, not overglorified. I thought it was, but seriously. Not.

 

[GeorgW]

Love is pretty damn awesome if you can find it. But it's hard to find and hard to keep. That's what I've learned.

 

[Superhyperactiveman]

Hmmm, well since we already know that the overwhelming majority of the escapist is of a religious persuasion (/sarcasm) let's consult the Bible!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Seriously, there are so many ways of thinking about love, it's astounding. C.S. Lewis (best known for his "Chronicles of Narnia" series) wrote a book called "The Four Loves" in which he categorizes 4 different varieties of love and describes them

1 Storge (Affection)- fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Ironically, its strength is also what makes it vulnerable. Affection has the appearance of being "built-in" or "ready made", says Lewis, and as a result people come to expect, even to demand, its presence?irrespective of their behavior and its natural consequences.

2. Phileo (Friendship)- A strong bond existing between people who share common interest or activity. Lewis explicitly says that his definition of friendship is narrower than mere companionship

3. Eros (Romance)- love in the sense of 'being in love'. This is distinct from sexuality, which Lewis calls Venus, although he does spend time discussing sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense. He identifies eros as indifferent. It is Venus that desires the sexual aspect of a relationship, while Eros longs for the emotional connection with the other person.

4. Agape (Charity)- The love that brings forth caring regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. The chapter on the subject focuses on the need of subordinating the natural loves to the love of God, who is full of charitable love.

Christian or not, I highly reccomend the book on the basis of it being a fascinating read.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

agreed with this. and with someone you are in love with, even when you do argue and fight to hell and back, you will still be with/love that person at the end of the day. (granted this hardly happens but its bound to happen at least once eventually where you piss your partner off)

When you find the right partner, you will know, it's just one of those awesome things that is hard to find, because looking for it is like looking for diamond in minecraft, you will spend hours upon and hours and only find lava and cobblestone.

 

[Doclector]

Does love exist? Yes, but for different reasons than people think. People think love is some deeper attraction to each other than physically, which I just don't think is true. Do you ever see a truly hideous person in a relationship? No. You do not. People say they like a person for their intelligence, or sense of humour, but that is only a denial of the simple primitive nature of humankind, their true nature.

 

[Danny Ocean]

Apparently love isn't anywhere near as exciting as it's made out to be. It's much more fulfilling.

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

/sop

​

 

[michael87cn]

I can't stand threads like this; "what is love?" "why is murder wrong?" etc. when you know the poster knows the answer, but they just want to see a big debate happen over it.

Yes love exists. Everything alive needs love. Everything alive feels pain when they are not loved.

Love is an emotion/deed that can be given/shared to/with someone/something else by an act or word. In essence love is performing/giving/informing something for someone/something else, sometimes at your own expense and sometimes not.

Love is doing things that aren't always easy or pleasant, but in the end right.

Love is something that overpowers all else, including the so called logic of the natural man and science, his religion.

 

[pubbing]

True love is a very personal decision one makes in their life. True love is not a feeling, feelings are fleeting but it is a choice that you make. True love means that you choose to cherish another individual despite all of their faults, True love means that you choose to forgive another individual for any wrong they have committed against you. True love means that you give up desires for yourself to make another person happy.

Those butterfly feelings are not true love but a chemical reaction created for procreation, those feelings come and go but true love stays because you choose for it to stay. True love is very hard work, giving up things for the other person, putting up with wrongs the other has committed against you and other bullshit.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

now this might just be genius at it's true form. at least that's what I think.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

I'm inclined to say that love is just a mere 'chemical(s)' (in the brain). But on the other hand I'm a too big of a romantic to fully embrace the thought that it can only be based on that.

*Edit: To answer your question about what love truely is: it's lifting you up and never lets you down, it's laughing at your antics instead of frown, it accepts you for who and what you are... and sometimes hits you by surprise... just like a car. (Wherever the f*ck this may have come from.)

 

[Random berk]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

Can't put it much better than this.XD
Love may produced by hormones and pheromones, and it may not be resistant to negative input, but no one can honestly say it doesn't exist, or that it has no meaning. If you find the right person, then its also about more than sex. You feel more comfortable with someone you love than with someone you just met in a bar, and you can enjoy doing simple things like walking, or playing a game more than with someone that you don't love.

Does love exist? Yes, but for different reasons than people think. People think love is some deeper attraction to each other than physically, which I just don't think is true. Do you ever see a truly hideous person in a relationship? No. You do not. People say they like a person for their intelligence, or sense of humour, but that is only a denial of the simple primitive nature of humankind, their true nature.

Someone's appearance has some importance in a relationship, but it isn't the dominant factor. Have you ever seen a lasting, happy relationship between an intellectual person and some Jersey Shore monkey? Assuming the monkey is good looking, not just muscular/ large breasted, and covered in fake tan.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

BABY DON'T HURT ME.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

There was a time when I thought like you did. I was bouncing from one short, miserable, relationship to another. Never comfortable, certainly never happy. I thought love was a crock of crap people made up because it was something I'd never experienced for myself. I couldn't imagine limiting myself to just one girl because none of them made me happy. Marriage was an utter joke.

I grew up on campy 80s movies that told me women want a hero who will hold the door open for them and give them flowers. When you act that way to real life women, they smirk, and then crush you under the feel of their shoe. I was convinced it was all a horrible game that I wasn't given the instruction manual for.

Then I met my current girlfriend. We've been in a relationship for three years now, getting married this Spring. I'd say.... YES. Love is real. There's no one I'd rather be with than my girlfriend. I can't IMAGINE someone I'd rather be with. Her flaws only make her more appealing to me. Where I'm angry she's happy. She's indecisive, I'm impulsive. I'm sit inside and play video games, she's lets go for a walk to no where in particular. I'm RPG and MMOs, she's Metal Gear Solid and Pokemon. We complete each other. I'd be utterly and completely lost without her. It's a feeling of completeness that you can't even begin to describe. It's like trying to describe color to someone who's never been able to see or taste to someone who's never eaten food.

All that pain I've gone through only makes me appreciate her more.

So, in short, yes love exists. When you find that person that's perfect for you, it's a very powerful feeling. It's more than "omg I want to sex you" or even "omg I want to be with you" it's a "My life would lose all meaning if you went away"

this is a much better description for what i was going for. kudos to you good sir and congrats

just too add in also on that "my life would lose all meaning if you went away" this is basically true, your dependency on your significant other becomes so intense, you don't look at them constantly with a "damn i wanna fuck that ass" as more of a "there is the love of my life =]" kind of way.

 

[0_Insomnis_0]

Speaking as a man of science, the feeling we call "love" is a rush of hormones and neurotransmitters flooding our brains. It evolved in humans as a way to renforce the social behaviors that the survival of our species all this time has depended upon. (same reason yawns are contagious, by the way!) But on a deeper, more emotional level, it's for one to find their own meaning. Love is complicated. We've all been there, and everyone finds meaning eventually.

 

[Gruevy]

Because those feelings are, simply put, there to trick you (in my opinion). Once they fade, people don't stay together. I have the numbers to prove it.

again, you're getting too caught up on what love should be. it's vague, incorporeal, and unbounded, it can't be pinned down by statistics. the feelings aren't there to trick you, they're merely indicators of attraction,and you're making yourself miserable by denying them.

What I question was whether or not my feelings were genuine.

you experienced them, they exist, they were genuine in themselves, but you're overthinking it and obviously beating yourself up for not living up to your ideals. all i can say to that is to try not worry about that too much, you're only human.

 

[ServebotFrank]

This seems to me like some way to whine about a past relationship on the internet. You raised a question up and when Daystar Clarion tried explaining to you, you used this thread as an excuse to whine about your previous relationship and try to garner some sympathy. In fact all you've been doing this entire thread is been giving out bits and pieces of a sob story that happened to you. Sorry that happened but you shouldn't be on the internet complaining about it.

 

[WaderiAAA]

My parents have a small picture in the kitchen with the text "love is to wash the dishes together".

I'm not sure if true love exists or not, but I'm looking for it nonetheless.