What is the funniest / most interesting thing that your teacher has said

[gamepopper101]

I have a Physics teacher who reminds me of Erwin Schroedinger, since he talks about doing fatal experiments on cats. He also had this one explanation for how current in an electric circuit works by using knomes to feed a tiger so that it keeps dancing...

Also my Computer Studies teacher said once that if he had more than 30 friends he would go on a killing rampage.

 

[gamepopper101]

Oh I remember my History teacher bashing a Geography student on a School Open Evening by asking him "Are you going to your colouring class right now?"

 

[Random berk]

All of my teachers in high school are really funny so it's hard to remember the funniest thing, one of the more recent ones though is that my science teacher sometimes does this New Zealand dance called the Hucka (or something) to people who are late and it's really loud.

Thats the haka.

I remember my english teacher getting drunk on graduation day and saying "I only tought you for one year. If I had another I'd make a genius of you. Still, at least your all less retarded than when we started."

Also some physics lecturer that I had last year, who used Mars bars as the example for everything that involved energy.

These days we have a geology lecturer who looks just like a hippy, and is always great to talk to. We also have some geography lecturers who make us laugh every time they think they're teaching us something. Appreciation of landscapes, seriously. And they know we're scientists, too!

 

[Mr Shrike]

On the first day of my AS History course, the teacher walked in and said... "Right, is anyone in this fucking class offended by swearing? 'Cos if you are, I recommend you get the fucking hell out!"

He's a freakin' legend.

Also, my Chemistry teacher is this wonderful, adorable little guy with a thick Indian accent. When we asked if he likes cricket he said to us: "I am Indian. What do you think?" He then proceeded to almost set himself on fire XD

 

[142753869]

Not really the teacher but still relevant.

A professor was doing a long winding derivation on the blackboard and got a wrong sign in the end. He said "hmm, I think I made a sign error somewhere", when someone in the class replied "Or any odd number of them"

 

[Sh1nobu]

"Instead of doing science, we're watching Sweeny Todd...what the fuck! This is a musical?"


Yeah, ive had this

 

[Triscut900]

this was my teacher on the online gradebook
"Parents dont need to see every stinking crappy grade you get"

 

[SirDeadly]

My Chem teacher was talking about reproduction (when I was in year 10 it was just called science) and ended up giving birth to paper puppies, it was completely retarded yet hilarious. And to top it off this was just after the bell went and people we're walking past the door staring at a crazy man pretending to give birth!

 

[GrinningManiac]

My politics teacher once walked up to me in a lesson when we were planning an essay and, completeley out of the blue, asks

"You gonna write anything about Flying Squirrels?"

I say "I can do, if it gets me marks"

He says "I'll give you a bonus mark if you fit the word "flying squirrel" into that essay on Pressure Groups in American Politics"

I did and he honoured the agreement. Now he CALLS me The Flying Squirrel. He also tells us incredibly interesting stories, like when he spotted Bill Clinton's daughter at a seminar in the Great London Library and sprinkled sugar from his donut on her head just to see how many Secret Service guys jumped out (I should point out this was in the 90s during the ANTHRAX scare) and how he had a Korean friend at university who didn't fully understand the nuances of the English Language and so said "Particle of Pie" instead of "Piece of Pie" and greeted people with "What mood are you?"

He's a great teacher

 

[TilMorrow]

Well I have one teacher who makes jokes concerning one student in particular however he is not being mean as the jokes he makes are about things that the student does on purpose.

OH and my film teacher:
"Sorry I'm late Ms"
"Don't worry Name. I'm sorry your alive."

Cookie for correct identification of reference.

 

[TheMariner]

My chemistry teacher was trying to explain catalysts one day back in '05

"Say you have a car engine. What's good nowadays, 4 horsepower?"

 

[Toriver]

My biology teacher in high school used to play the mating call of the bull moose on his computer in order to get our attention. Needless to say it worked every time.

Same teacher also once took a frozen dead rat, hooked it up to a fishing line, and cast it into the neighboring science room before class. During class he went to the back of the room and reeled it in to see what would happen. This was a TEACHER, remember. I have no idea what was going through his head, but we all had fun with it, including him, so nobody complained.

 

[Kwaren]

"You don't know if I am wearing pants right now do you?"

 

[El Poncho]

When the Pope was in Scotland he put the live feed on the projector and made a running commentary about what they might be saying

Like on Mock the Week when Hugh Dennis fills in the voices on a video.

 

[Glamorgan]

Ahahaha, yes. I remember this all too clearly. While it may not have been the funniest thing, well, it cracked me up.

Okay. So, I had been madly in love with my best friend for about half the year. She was dating another guy, who she was madly in love with. She was aware that I liked her, and at some points she returned the affections, but she always stayed with the boyfriend.
Now, it was nearing the end of the year, and we had to select the courses we wanted to study next year. Given that she was my best friend, I did the same courses as her.

So, on the last day of term, me, my best friend, and her boyfriend were all standing together, talking to my teacher. She ended up asking us what courses we were taking. The boyfriend said that he was taking so and so, and then the best friend told the teacher what she was taking. The teacher then asked me. I told her that I was taking the same as my best friend.

And then, for the first time she had ever done this, she said in a very amused, but slightly seductive voice: "Well, what a coincidence".

I think mortified would be the best description of my reaction.

Although it didn't stop me winking at the boyfriend over the teacher's shoulder.

 

[Lyndraco]

In response to a question from someone, "so would you say we are evolving ourselves into extinction?"
Teacher, "I need a doobie to answer that question."

 

[Cyaneed]

"Oh not you Cyaneed, your not allowed to answer this one."
"But, But, But. . . I KNOW THE F*****G ANSWER!"
"Shut it."

And once long ago my teacher hit me in the head with a HUGE ruler and called me an idiot\moron\stupid child.

 

[SoulIsTheGoal]

My biology teacher told us about penis fencing flatworms. It was hilarious. (There's a video on YT, watch it)

 

[Lucifron]

Having gone about 1.5 years since my high school graduation, all those moments seem lost to me.

This thread is now about leaving your childhood behind. ./manlytears