What to do if you ever come to.....

[The Maddest March Hare]

If you ever come to Wales, bring an umbrella, you're gonna need it.

If you ever come to Wales, be prepared to spend your stay looking at sheep. Lots and lots of sheep.

If you ever come to Wales, always remember that no matter how empty a road seems, just around a corner is a timber lorry or tractor waiting to surprise you.

If you ever come to Wales, never mention England. It's like a sin or something [small](and I'm English, so believe me, I know what they think of England o.o[/small]

If you ever come to Wales, watch out for Fergs. They're like crazy farmers, but listen to chavvy music while talking about tractors. Seriously, run.

 

[cheesecake123]

if you come to kiveton park prepare to be bored

 

[Agent Larkin]

If you ever come to Ireland don't put on the stereotypical accent and then we won't have to kill you.

 

[ChocoFace]

If you come to Estonia, you'll find lots of culture, forests, and small towns.
Oh and more forests.

 

[rasmusernst]

If you come to Denmark - you won't - expect 121 days of rain per year.

We have crazy taxes, insane gas prices, extremely expensive cars, bad english, scetchy public transport and a 100% guarantee that your bike will get stolen.

We even have our own Neo-Nazi radio station(I'm not kidding): http://www.dnsb.info/presse/radio/docs/english.php

Hilarious city names: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=middelfart&rls=com.microsoft:da-dk&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&split=0&ei=_l1DSv69O5fLjAfB9NidDw&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1

And downright confusing magazines: http://www.folkogfag.dk/qviksoeger/

 

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

If you come to Atherstone, UK, make sure you don't like rock music, or, if you do, make sure you like being abused physically.

If you come to Atherstone, make sure you like seeing stupidly overdone cars that are, in reality, nasty horrible pieces of junk with a fluorescent (sp?) paint job.

If you come to Atherstone, keep on driving.

 

[JediMooCow]

If you ever come to Australia in general, ask about drop bears. No, really.

If you're in Australia, and you're American, and you make the mistake of calling an Australian British... DON'T!

He does not exaggerate about the drop bears. Also, if you're in Australia, and you're American, DO NOT call Australian Aborigines African-Americans.

Do not ever mention shrimp on the barby. We don't even have shrimp, we have PRAWNS, which are to shrimp what carp are to goldfish.

Don't expect to see a lot of kangaroos, koalas, or anything like that, any more than you would expect to see bald eagles in the US

It's called Hungry Jacks here, not Burger King.

When they have 'no swimming' signs, they mean it. Box jellyfish venom is among the most dangerous in the world. You can get pumped full of anaesthetic, put under sedation, and still be screaming from the pain.

That's all I've got for now.

Good point about the Aboriginals being called African Americans.
Ahh, Americans... What would Australians have to complain about without them?
[Note: I have no objection to Americans whatsoever. The only one I've talked to for more than five minutes is a great guy.]

If you ever come to Ireland don't put on the stereotypical accent and then we won't have to kill you.

Yeah, I imagine that'd be a problem over there. What do you do if people not only put on a stereotypical accent, but use it to say 'Fiddle-dee-dee potatos'?
Because if I was Irish, I would have them die a slow, lingering death. Probably after being peeled and fried, like a potato.

 

[WittyName]

If you come to England:

Do not assume that we are all civilised people. *cough* Chavs *cough*

Do not have hair longer than about 2 inches, or every chav will gravitate towards you and hurl abuse.

Be prepared for the abuse from chavs even if you have not done anything.

 

[Soulgaunt]

If you ever come to Tennessee, DON'T expect to be robbed. The only real crime here is anything relating to drugs, and people going crazy.
If you ever come to Tennessee, be prepared to see more camo than actual trees.

 

[Skreeee]

And finally, if you ever come to Michigan, be prepared to turn right twice to make a left turn while driving in busy areas. You'll almost never be able to just turn left from the get go.

wait... 2 rights= u-turn

Oh shit, I didn't even realize I put that 'twice' in there. XD
My bad.

Edited version: be prepared to turn right before you can make a left turn later down the road while driving in busy areas.

Where the hell was my brain yesterday? Damn.

 

[TheMatt]

If you ever come Ottawa -

Light a dub of the eternal flame on parliament hill. It hasn't gone out in over 50 years.
ummmm

Play UFC unleashed on your Xbox live which you brought with you.

that's it.

 

[raelin_jones]

forgot some XD

If you ever come to Tokyo, don't attempt to play fighting games in the arcades unless you are DAMN good at them, as someone will most likely come out of nowhere and hand you your ass on a platter while punching you in the face yelling POWER GEYSER! depending.

If you ever come to Tokyo, keep in mind that we DON'T RUN AROUND IN KIMONO, YUKATA, HAKAMA PANTS, OR WITH KATANA. Seriously people, the Meiji Era ended all that fun cause of the Western influence.

If you ever come to Tokyo, don't swim in the Tokyo Bay. Really. Don't do it. It's not a good idea. You have NO idea what might be swimming in there.

If you ever come to Tokyo, try to learn some of the Kanji for some foods, lest you attempt ordering beef and end up ordering horse.

If you ever come to Tokyo, speaking louder will not help someone understand English better.

 

[goatzilla8463]

If you ever come to Central London, bring a shovel.

You know why.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

I'm not sure if this has been done before, I tried a search that came up with nothing so alls well

This is pretty simple, all you do is say to others is

"If you ever come to (your area/country) you should do ...../"

I'll start us off






If you ever come to Chicago, be prepared to have any basketball argument shut down with some form of "Jordan was the greatest player/The '93 bulls team yada yada yada"

If you ever come to Chicago, you should make fun of a White Soxs fan, 9/10 will cry

If you ever come to Chicago, come in the summer time, we call it the windy city for a reason

If you ever come to Chicago, know that Macy's is still Marshalls and The Willis Tower is still the Sears tower in our eyes

If you ever come to America, don't assume no one speaks the same language as you, no matter where you live, you will always bump into someone from the same exact country

No thank you, I was just there.

 

[GeoPB]

If you ever come to Nottingham, don't wear a kevlar vest or a stab vest, they go for the face.

 

[Ancientgamer]

If you ever come to Memphis, be prepared to eat a lot of BBQ.

And develop a taste for bluegrass.

Also;

If you ever come to Tennessee, DON'T expect to be robbed. The only real crime here is anything relating to drugs, and people going crazy.
If you ever come to Tennessee, be prepared to see more camo than actual trees.

Except in memphis you will get robbed.

 

[ae86gamer]

If you ever come to Chicago, be prepared to have any basketball argument shut down with some form of "Jordan was the greatest player/The '93 bulls team yada yada yada"

If you ever come to Chicago, you should make fun of a White Soxs fan, 9/10 will cry

If you ever come to Chicago, come in the summer time, we call it the windy city for a reason

If you ever come to Chicago, know that Macy's is still Marshalls and The Willis Tower is still the Sears tower in our eyes

These made me lol. I live in Chicago, and all of these are true. XD


Anywho, here are mine.

If you ever come to Chicago, don't mention Kanye West. Just because he's from Chicago doesn't mean that everyone likes him.

If you ever come to Chicago, come during the summer, the festivals are amazing.

If you ever come to Chicago, don't talk bad about our sports teams.

If you ever come to Chicago, take the train, because 8/10 there will be a lot of traffic.

 

[Time Travelling Toaster]

If you ever come to Scotland visit the North, it's beautiful up there
If you ever come to Scotland bring money and find a distillery the whiskey is sweet.
If you ever come to Scotland (Glasgow), don't talk about Rangers/Celtic chances are someone won't like either of them.

 

[Soulgaunt]

If you ever come to Memphis, be prepared to eat a lot of BBQ.

And develop a taste for bluegrass.

Also;

If you ever come to Tennessee, DON'T expect to be robbed. The only real crime here is anything relating to drugs, and people going crazy.
If you ever come to Tennessee, be prepared to see more camo than actual trees.

Except in memphis you will get robbed.

We must be in different areas of Memphis.
I'm in the area that reeks of weed.