What would you say if you were an NPC?

[Wildrow12]

"The girl who sells flowers? She's toast. The girl with the cat ears? Worm food. The obnoxious emo prick who by some sick trick of fate is leading your party? He'll live the rest of his days watching dorks dress up like him, and starring in disturbing fan fiction. Sucks to be you, huh?"

 

[Nitpicker of the Wastes]

"I fucking hate mutes...."
or.
"What is the purpose of the goggles?"

"What do you know about the 'milkman'?"

You did not just quote Psychonauts! You did not!

OT: If I'm going for stupid, maybe "Frog blast the vent core!". For plot critical, probably something, at the very beginning of a really long game, that was really important, so when the player needs it, it has been forgotten. "Up up down down left right left right B A start!".

 

[mobsterlobster]

"Link! I can't believe you just burst through my door and smashed the pot that held my grandmother's ashes and stole the 100 rupees I had in that chest. What the hell is wrong with you? What kind of person does that? Why are you just staring at me with that same facial expression? Why won't you say anything? You're really freaking me out now."

 

[badgersprite]

"I'm going to be a boss!"

 

[Darzen]

"see the guy shaking in the corner.he's the final boss.take this dagger and drive it through his heart to win"

 

[The Admiral]

I will knock you all down.

 

[orangeapples]

"Do I want to turn left or right at this street? Man, It feels like I've been here forever."

I'll stand in the first town.

 

[Pifflestick]

"You forgot to take out your ball-gag"

 

[Fritzvalt]

"..."

"LORD BRITTISH IS GOING TO SPACE!"

"Would you like to see the combat tutorial?"

"Would you like an annoying fetch quest?"

"Stop talking to me."

"I bet you're handy with a blade."

EDIT: Forgot an important one. "You like Castlevania, don't you?"

 

[Unca Bob]

What's that? You want to enter the next area? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, you were serious...

 

[PirateKing]

"The princess is in another castle, dude. Hey! Hey, wait! It's dangerous to go alone. Take this lock pick. You don't want to end up a Jill sandwich. (Laugh)"

 

[Bernzz]

"WELCOME TO CORNERIA"

"I like swords."

 

[Sven und EIN HUND]

"Hey! You're the Grand Champion! You're the best!"


Adoring Fan ftw

 

[wolfskin]

"Do you ever get the feeling you life is just a series of scripted events that repeat themselves endlessly? No? No I guess you don't, what with the lack of an 'N' in your acronym. Anyway to business, I need you to bring me 15 crystal eggs carried by the ancient Linculans who... you're not listening to a word I say are you? Fine, whatever, walk north til you see a bunch of guys, kill them, and bring me a pile of the shinies they drop. God, some days I just want to kill my self."

 

[Canadamus Prime]

"So does it ever get awkward to have a camera constantly floating behind you?"

 

[Kimarous]

"Excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it; it's green."

 

[Pegghead]

I fucking hate you!

So how 'bout dem Mets?

I love horses, are you a horse?

I've seen things man, things and stuff!

I am a pirate (In a sci-fi game)!

Ever feel like you're just in the same place, every day, doing the same goddamn thing? (Then proceeds to run half naked round the shire cheering)

The voices are telling me to kill you!

This is my turf, MY TURF!

 

[Kris015]

I would Stalk the player, then when he turns around and looks at me i would cast flare. MWUAHAHAHAHAH Take that someguy!

 

[Cody211282]

"What is the purpose of the goggles?"

damn ninjaed,
"so you know im the end boss right?"