What's the funniest video game line ever?

[Erja_Perttu]

Sit your ass down on that chair and drink your goddamned tea!

 

[HitcH55]

Not exactly funny, but completely retarded and ridiculous:

FF XIII, Hopes mum Nora, "Moms are tough"...

...

...it wasnt good the first time, and it wasnt good the second time, so why try and sneak it in there a third time!!!!!

 

[Ekit]

The entire final-battle with GLaDOS in Portal.

 

[The DSM]

Resonance of Fate "All we have is rasins"

If you are up to chapter 5 you know what I mean.

 

[Optimus Hagrid]

Sam: Does it involve wanton destruction?

Max: We can only hope.

Not the funniest line, but Max's voice acting then is magnificent.

Serious Sam: AAAaaAAaaaAArrrRRrrgh yerself... uh-oh...

 

[blobby218]

"the final digit of pie is..."

-ratchet and clank 2

 

[WINDOWCLEAN2]

Big Smoke in GTA SA.

(when the GSM are deciding wat to eat)

Big Smoke: CHICKEN! No discussion!

 

[BigStupidJellyfish]

"It's just a big stupid Jellyfish"
-Mass Effect

I agree with this.

Also, "That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest-son-of-a-***** in space!" -Gunnery Sergeant, Mass Effect 2.

 

[Mimzical]

Fallout 3: Moira - How did that Mole Repellent work?

'It repelled their limbs from their body. Can you make one that works on people?'

That did make me chuckle when I read that. Obviously I chose that option too.

 

[ShotgunSmoke]

Just about everything Renegade Shepard says.

"I was only mostly dead."

"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions!"

Shepard : "Get out of here, before it blows!"

Random human : "Blows? What?"

Shepard : "RUN!"

Random human : *runs away*

Shepard : "Lulz, can't believe that worked."

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Sam:"Hello? Yes, Commissioner! Yes?... Yes?... Yes?.. Holy jumping
mother o'God in a side-car with chocolate jimmies and a lobster
bib! WE'RE ON OUR WAY!"

 

[Mydnyght]

"Stupid *BEEP* mother *BEEP* two-dollar *BEEP* what a mother *BEEP* DRANK ALL MY JUICE!"
--Etna from Cross Edge

 

[Sleekgiant]

Any line from Halo 3 that was done by the guys at Red vs. Blue

 

[Pekkipang]

NO! NO! If we tell them now then they will send in a bunch of Spec Ops b*tches with heartbeat sensors attached to their guns.

Sweetwater - Bad Company 2

 

[Nick31091]

Many, many quotes from your boss Dexter in Darkest of Days. His lines are golden; here are just a few:

"Gimmie that! [Snatches rocket launcher out of your hands] Can't let just anyone get their dickbeaters on it."

"This mission is brought to you by the letter C and the number 4." when ordering you to blow up a bridge.

(Talking about hijacking a zeppelin)
Dexter: "Collins, you got stick time right?"
Collins: "Yeah but it was on a fixed wing in VFR conditions."
Dexter: "...Yeah, whatever. You're the pilot."

 

[Deathsong17]

"Sarge, I stole your moisturiser" - Haggard in a randam conversation on Battlefield: BC2.