When Lemons Give You Life, Patent That Sh@%!

[Eggsnham]

What are your favorite twists on famous quotes, jokes or conversations? And if you don't have one or don't know any, make one up!

And for those who may be wondering, yes; I made up that lemon thing in the title.

When life gives you lemons, <a href=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.101517-Favorite-When-life-gives-you-lemons-Quotes>you use the search bar.

Also, when life gives you lemons, shut the fuck up and eat your fucking lemons!

When life gives you lemons, you could pay attention to the details.

What are your favorite twists on famous quotes, jokes or conversations? And if you don't have one or don't know any, make one up!

Reading is a great way to learn. And demolish.

Oh right, so because I don't want the forums clogged by by multiple threads of the same content (You could put these in the other thread), I'm illiterate? The threads are exactly the same, minus the title. We don't need 2 threads about lemon jokes, 'kay?

Not sure if someone else has responded to this post. But this thread, isn't about lemon jokes, it just had a lemon joke in the title. Read the post before commenting.

 

[mip0]

George Carlin was talking about these different colored ribbons for different deceases and said:

I've got my own brown ribbon. You know what it stands for?

Spoiler: You know what it stands for?

EAT SHIT ************!
EAT SHIT ************!

 

[hittite]

A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.

 

[Koeryn]

could be worse, could be the nth MW2 class loadout a friendzone BAWW thread again.
2 out of over 9000 is okay.
anyway;
there are three way to do something: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way
isn't that the wrong way
usually, BUT FASTER!

Holy fuck! I VAGUELY REMEMBER THAT MOVIE.

Wait, nevermind. I have no idea.

...oh, right.


When life gives you lemons... Could you give me her number?


The grass is always greener on the other side of the nuclear wasteland

The grass is always greener on the well-fertilized side of the hill.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, but one of the two hurts a hell of a lot more.

 

[FrndlyMisanthrpe]

Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade is going to suck.

 

[nick n stuff]

I'm gonna quote shit loads of Aerosmith.

'don't get mad get even'
'When you talk to me in circles Take your, foot out of your mouth'
'You got nothing else to lose, If ya only loose your mind'
'You've been dusting with the devil, While he sweeps you off your feet'
'Sleeping with the dogs, And you wake up with the fleas'

Well done Mr Tyler.
You will be deeply missed

 

[MR T3D]

could be worse, could be the nth MW2 class loadout a friendzone BAWW thread again.
2 out of over 9000 is okay.
anyway;
there are three way to do something: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way
isn't that the wrong way
usually, BUT FASTER!

Holy fuck! I VAGUELY REMEMBER THAT MOVIE.

Wait, nevermind. I have no idea.

...oh, right.


When life gives you lemons... Could you give me her number?


The grass is always greener on the other side of the nuclear wasteland

The grass is always greener on the well-fertilized side of the hill.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, but one of the two hurts a hell of a lot more.

It's from the simpsons.
old-ish (and therefore watchable) episode.

 

[Ultrazerglings]

When life gives you lemons PURGE THE HERETIC!

 

[crimson5pheonix]

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, unless you have a shotgun, then you get all 3!

 

[Maltyz]

A T-shirt:

http://www.snorgtees.com/images/LifeGivesLemons_Fullpic_1.gif

I cant have nice things!

 

[nolongerhere]

Roses are red
Violets are purple
Purple
Not blue
Get it right, *****

 

[crimson5pheonix]

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

[Connor Lonske]

When life gives you melons, you suck.

 

[Sewer Rat]

When god gives you lemons, squeeze them in his eyes and take all his stuff... That'll teach the bastard for giving you lemons...

 

[crimson5pheonix]

60% of the time, [product name here] works every time.

 

[Snicks]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In soviet russia,
poem reads you!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Say what again,
I fucking dare you.

Violets are blue,
Roses are red,
Zed's dead baby,
Baby Zed's dead.

I've been watching Pulp Fiction ok?

 

[Tuddle]

If life gives you diabetes,
Don't make lemonade.

 

[Shynobee]

When God gives you lemons...

[HEADING=2]You Find a new God!!![/HEADING]

 

[Spoonius]

When life gives you le- ASSUMING CONTROL.


Also, when life gives you lemons, plant an orchard... then sell that shit for crack.

 

[tobi the good boy]

light a man a fire and he'll be warm for hours, light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life