Why are you hetero or homosexual?...

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

Um...

Maybe I'm just reading your OP wrong but you seem to completely ignore the existence of bisexuality.

Or A-sexuality...

Umm... I think there is no "why you are", I think there is only "Why you think you are" since your sexuality is not a absolute thing, it is molded by your DNA, history, culture, environment, imagination, lusts and emotions, it is such a complicated thing that there is no "why".

"Why you think you are" I think that could have saved soooo much grief. Pretty smart.

 

[Lionsfan]

I dunno, I just am. Some people have said it's how we're born, but I don't know enough to argue for or against that. I mean it's not like I was an asexual creature who saw a naked woman and was like "Oh shit, Tits!" I mean as I grew up it was girls that turned me on in a sexual way. That's it

 

[Genericjim101]

I'm heterosexual because I am what I am! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj8C43r4zm0
X D . Joviality aside I dunno, i think of guy on guy and get a little eww feeling in the same way i would if offered mayonnaise, no thanks not for me, but it's not disliking of homosexuality anywhere near as my liking for girls! : D

 

[Still Life]

I'm sorry about my lack of maturity. I'll be sure to never ask another question ever again.

If you're curious about something and/or don't understand the topic, then I don't think asking a question is a sin of any kind.

Personally, I think it cuts a few ways. I know that sexual orientation for the vast majority of people is not a choice, but I have met those who experiment with their sexual orientation. That is a choice, as those individuals are not certain of their sexual orientation and they choose to explore their identity, instead of conform to the normative sexual orientation which society, in general, prescribes. Some people I've met even flirt with Bi and homosexual activities because it feels rebellious.

Myself, I'm heterosexual. I'm attracted to strong, charismatic and independent women in a sexual way; I'm currently dating a woman who fits my criteria of attraction. I don't feel like I am self-limiting in any way and I am comfortable with my sexuality. I've had the opportunity to grow up around many homosexual people and I find myself comfortable in their presence. I'm am not so shallow as to deny that I wouldn't entertain the thought of homosexual romance if I met another man who I found supremely attractive and I have no problem in saying when I think another male is attractive in his own way.

No, I'm pretty comfortable with my sexual identity. It hasn't been a matter of choice and I've come to terms with that and I quite like the man I am.

 

[Gralian]

Well. I find the male body to be incredibly unattractive and ugly. I also find male culture to be absolutely sickening. I'm disgusted by this 'alpha male' obsession that pervades society at large. Men as a whole tend to be shallow, basic creatures. (Ironic considering i'm male, no?)

I find curves, hips and breasts to be attractive - muscles, abs or what have you do absolutely nothing for me. This also coupled with the fact the very concept of anything going into my arse absolutely disgusts me and freaks me out mean by definition i couldn't be anything other than heterosexual. That's just the way it is.

But aside from the physical, sexual aspect, i just find women to be infinitely more complex than men. Men are extremely simplistic and basic. Often we just 'say what we think'. I'm one of those strange types who enjoy the mystery and mind games that the fairer sex often provides. I tend to find there's a far greater exploration of emotion and intimacy with women that there ever can be with men, which probably comes back to the whole 'male culture' issue. In a way, i detest being male myself because i know that i am expected to participate in that culture as well. In the end though, i find it best not to dwell on it. I like girls and i don't really care what gender i am. I just "roll with it".

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

I'm heterosexual because I am what I am! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj8C43r4zm0
X D . Joviality aside I dunno, i think of guy on guy and get a little eww feeling in the same way i would if offered mayonnaise, no thanks not for me, but it's not disliking of homosexuality anywhere near as my liking for girls! : D

XD That song is quite fitting.

I'm sorry about my lack of maturity. I'll be sure to never ask another question ever again.

If you're curious about something and/or don't understand the topic, then I don't think asking a question is a sin of any kind.

Personally, I think it cuts a few ways. I know that sexual orientation for the vast majority of people is not a choice, but I have met those who experiment with their sexual orientation. That is a choice, as those individuals are not certain of their sexual orientation and they choose to explore their identity, instead of conform to the normative sexual orientation which society in general prescribes. Some people I've met even flirt with Bi and homosexual activities because it feels rebellious.

Myself, I'm heterosexual. I'm attracted to strong, charismatic and independent women in a sexual way; I'm currently dating a woman who fits my criteria of attraction. I don't feel like I am self-limiting in any way and I am comfortable with my sexuality. I've had the opportunity to grow up around many homosexual people and I find myself comfortable in their presence. I'm am not so shallow as to deny that I wouldn't entertain the thought of homosexual romance if I met another man who I found supremely attractive and I have no problem in saying when I think another male is attractive in his own way.

No, I'm pretty comfortable with my sexual identity. It hasn't been a matter of choice and I've come to terms with that and I quite like the man I am.

^That was so wise and mature of you to share. I really appreciate your post.

 

[cobra_ky]

Are you attracted to members of your own family? If not, extrapolate that to a whole gender. If you are, I'm not sure how else to explain it.

That was a bit extreme. And gross. But, okay.

That's pretty much how it feels, unfortunately. For me there's a very real physical revulsion associated with the thought of men having sex. I wish it wasn't there, and I wish gender didn't matter to me, but it does. I could never be comfortable having a physical relationship with a man they same way i could with a woman.

It's in our DNA, it isn't a choice, it's how we're 'programmed'

That is wrong. If that were true homosexuality would be genetic disorder , which it isn't.
Its a physiological thing.

http://www.narth.com/docs/sheep.html

while not a study on humans, it does prove interesting and could be used to argue that homosexuality is indeed a genetic disorder and not psychological.

NARTH is a widely discredited organization, and generally i wouldn't trust a word they say, but it is true that there is some evidence of genetic factors influencing sexuality.

Homosexuality is not a disorder by any means, however.

snip

Yeah, it sounds like what you have done is merely to take a vow of abstinance, rather than ceasing to be attracted to things.

Unless you had some kind of operation, you can't simply turn of your sex drive.

Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not. I took no vow of abstinence, I literally changed my biological structure with a series of powerful neurological commands that were given to the rest of my biology over an extensive period of time.

No operation was done, and I assure you that I am able and did "turn off" my sex drive.

I will feel sexual attraction to a specific person, regardless of gender, so long as that person feels identical towards me. This is not to be confused with bisexual, as I have no attraction whatsoever to any gender. I'm in a relationship, and that's the only person I have any semblance of sexual attraction to, and this person is also asexual, so it works out well.

If you're truly unaware that a person can have virtually no sex drive, if none whatsoever, then I ask that you please do some research on asexuality.

If you doubt that the human mind is capable of such feats, I'm afraid I feel no interest in spending my time trying to make some sort of point by explaining the dynamics to you or anybody else. Trust what you will, but I've spent the last several years educating myself on the subject so that I may become an authority in such a regard, as it's highly relevant to my career.

What you're describing is more commonly referred to as pansexuality, sexual attraction without regard for the traditional gender binary, whereas asexuality is typically defined as a complete absence of sexual attraction, which you claim to experience with your partner. In my own, informal research, I've never seen the term asexual used in the sense you're using it, nor do any of the self-identified asexuals i've spoken to describe themselves in this way. You're welcome to identify however you like, but understand that this is the source of much confusion.

I don't believe the conscious mind has power over over biology to the extent that you describe. I think it's more likely that the sex drive you overcame was socially inculcated, not biological in nature.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

I'm not going to get into the arguments here, holy crap. But hey, OP, you said "can we turn off the anger in here?".

The answer to that is, NO. Once you bring up a topic like this, you're going to get scads of people with large angry hammers wanting to bash you to a virtual pulp. This is the peril of very sensitive and hot-button topics. I don't care how much you try to sanitize the question or ask what you think to be something innocuous: people will misinterpret it, or deliberately see only what they want, or whatever, and then you're under the hail of pain and agony. Welcome to the modern world.


Anyway! Why am I heterosexual (since I am)? Because I just am not attracted to women. I mean, women can be very beautiful, and I can see what makes them sexy, but when I meet one of these people I can't really see myself being in a sexual relationship with one. Friends, sure. Admiring appearance, sure. Having sex with? Dating? Marrying? No, not really.

It's just...something that doesn't happen in my life. I'm fairly sure even if I tried, it wouldn't really feel right -- not in the moral sense, but in the "this isn't what I personally want to be doing" sense.

So I'd say...I'm not a lesbian or bisexual, because I'm not. It's really no more complex, or easier to explain, than that.

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

Well. I find the male body to be incredibly unattractive and ugly. I also find male culture to be absolutely sickening. I'm disgusted by this 'alpha male' obsession that pervades society at large. Men as a whole tend to be shallow, basic creatures. (Ironic considering i'm male, no?)

I find curves, hips and breasts to be attractive - muscles, abs or what have you do absolutely nothing for me. This also coupled with the fact the very concept of anything going into my arse absolutely disgusts me and freaks me out mean by definition i couldn't be anything other than heterosexual. That's just the way it is.

But aside from the physical, sexual aspect, i just find women to be infinitely more complex than men. Men are extremely simplistic and basic. Often we just 'say what we think'. I'm one of those strange types who enjoy the mystery and mind games that the fairer sex often provides. I tend to find there's a far greater exploration of emotion and intimacy with women that there ever can be with men, which probably comes back to the whole 'male culture' issue. In a way, i detest being male myself because i know that i am expected to participate in that culture as well. In the end though, i find it best not to dwell on it. I like girls and i don't really care what gender i am. I just "roll with it".

I appreciate your openess and sense of self.

 

[LostTimeLady]

The simple answer is it's in our biology (whether that's part of DNA, hormones or brain wiring I don't know). People are predisposed to like their gender or the oposite gender in the same way that a person is also predisposed to have personally more masculine or feminine charecteresics. At least that's how I see it.

If someone of the same gender to me made me feel a million times more loved and cared for to me they'd be my best friend, I wouldn't have any compulsion to be intinate with them in anyway. Or to put it another way, I wouldn't want to marry them, they'd be a sister to me not a wife.

There's no getting away from the physical side of romance, sure some people like both men and women, some only like one and some like the same gender but the thing is I feel is that the attraction is consistant. If you like the oposite gender, you're only going to like the oposite gender. (At least that's what I've seen that plays out.)

 

[Gralian]

I appreciate your openess and sense of self.

Thank you OP. I think that while topics like this can cause a lot of ruffled feathers and controversy, it's good to examine these issues in such lucid light. It lets people get to the very core of their reason and being. If we are as candid as can be, we can try to understand human sexuality and thought on a deeper level than we currently do. I think it takes a brave individual to put themselves out there and ask such questions. Sometimes you must take a step back to take two steps forward.

 

[taciturnCandid]

Check this video out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7aUlWjPZVw&feature=player_embedded

Lots of references in the link description.


Anyhow, I believe that homosexuality isn't caused by one thing.
Epigenetics probably play a role considering that identical twins only have a 50% chance of sharing the same sexuality. If it was purely genetic, then they both would have a 100% chance. However, the chance is too high to suggest that there isn't a genetic part involved.

Another is the exposure to testostrone in the womb.

Anyhow. I don't believe it is my choice to be gay. But that doesn't mean there is nothing wrong with it

 

[BakaSmurf]

I don't like penis, I very like breasts.

I very like breasts indeed, hence the reason I like teh ladies but not teh guys.

Simple as that brother, no ifs, ands or buts... Well, lady butt, but not guy butt.

Mmmhmm, Lady butt very good indeed. Now, if you'll excuse me; I need to go brain for a bit so I can talk normally again, good day to you sir.

 

[Anezay]

I only go for the ladies because I was born that way. It's just how I roll.

 

[Apollo45]

Sex. Frankly, what you described is what friends are for. If I don't find a physical attraction to someone else, I can't have a sexual relationship with them. I don't find men physically attractive in more than a platonic way, and therefore won't be able to get in to a sexual, physical relationship with them. Doesn't mean I can't be friends with them, spend time hanging out, and get the 'loving' feeling that way.

 

[kasperbbs]

Because the thought of having sex with another man disgusts me? I have nothing against homosexuals, for all i care they can get married, have children, but i will never be attracted to the same gender.

 

[shinigamisparda]

I'm a hetero guy and I'm hetero because I've never found another man attractive. I've found other men to be "handsome" in the way that I've wanted to look like them, but I've never been attracted to them. For me it's just that simple.

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

when i left highschool they were still beating the "bisexuality is a mental disease" drum so i'm running with that, not because i know this to be true or even really care, but the vast majority of people ive met who claim to be bi sexual are mentally unstable. And i dont mean in a quirky 'i could get used to this' way, i mean in your face eating paste crazy. It seems common for them to have been sexually abused by relatives or care givers, even their own parents.

Geesh, that's quite the picture you've painted there. Bisexuals don't have the best reputations, though, unfortunately.

 

[zehydra]

It's in our DNA, it isn't a choice, it's how we're 'programmed'

that's not even proven, but I do agree it's not a choice, it's how we run.