Why aren't games chicks attracted to big & muscular guys?

[psijac]

Long story short, i'm fairly successful (for my age, i'm 23 FYI). I own my own home (yes, own, no roommates) I have two vehicles, a great job, and I go to school...and when I graduate i'm going to have a career as a police officer. Now here's the thing, i'm a pretty big and fairly ripped (i'm 6'3, 260, with about 10% body fat) I workout as a hobby but I just have great genetics so I pack on muscle and loose fat like crazy... but I love it, I love looking this way and it's also good because, as a police officer, I will need to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the criminals i'm chasing down.

Now here's the thing, I love when a girl plays video games. There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate) Anyway, i've tried talking to a few(and by a few, I mean a lot) of those girls but i'll almost immediately get shut down bc they're like "look, you seem like a great guy... but you're just too fucking big." and then i'm all like "aww...damn... ". Here's the shitty part... they will then go and date some fucking loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents... because... I don't fucking know why actually.

Okay, so I know that story wasn't short... I was wondering what it is? Why will a gamer girl (because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen) And like I said, this isn't an isolated incident... it's happened more times than I can count. So anyway, what gives?

-EDIT- I like how many who have posted in this thread have made the assumption that having big muscles means that someone is lacking intelligence. In-fact, I believe that both the body and mind have to be strong... I could not of made it to where I am in life today if I was lacking intellect... so I would greatly appreciate it if people would stop assuming that I am not as smart as my nerdy (and slightly smaller) counterparts.

I blame the cop thing. Some of the girl gamers I know are also into cannabis culture so your career choice will clash with their lifestyle. Cops are established authority figures, with chips on their shoulder. Some people become cops because they crave authority and have control issues. Most gamers I know have low self esteem issues combining the two will lead to a Made for tv movie on the Lifetime network. SO lose the muscle more back into your mom's basement and develope crippling insecurities like the rest of us and you get to have a girl gamer!

 

[Sariteiya]

Um, no offense, but sometimes women will use things like that as scapegoats so they don't have to tell you they just aren't really into you.

Also, the whole idea of the super ripped man is kind of overdone. Personally, I'd prefer a fellah who does more with his time than worry over his body. Also, not very huggable or cuddly.

But you know what girls hate most of all? BEING GENERALIZED. There are gonna be girls out there who like ripped men, and those that don't. Go around complaining that Nerd Girls are all into fat losers and they don't appreciate your fine physique like they should, and yeah, no girl with substance will give you the time of day.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

okay judging by your picture..you are pretty fucking ripped dude, and no offense but your judgement of the "loser at wal mart" came off as a bit of a "macho insensitive douche" to me, now i'm not saying you are but maybe that might hint a little to some humility when you talk to girls, at least the nerdy ones your trying to get..

humility and LISTENING are key to talking with girls, bragging about being aggressive never gets anyone anywhere, my friend is in your situation and tries it all the damn time and gets fucking no where.

 

[ks1234]

Snip

You sir, might be one of the wisest men on the face of the planet. You have said more in 3 paragraphs than others have said in 3 pages of posts.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I would probably assume you were out of my league tbh.

Most muscly guys don't even speak to me.

I have also had bad experiences with men so I find big guys kind of scary no offense.

I find intelligent guys attractive not to say you aren't but 'muscles' aren't what attracts me.

 

[Sparcrypt]

More then likely it's nothing to do with your size and everything to do with your personality. When girls turn guys down they rarely tell them the actual reason why - usually they'll pick something that seems plausible but probably won't offend you. In this case, telling you you're too big and strong.

I tick many of the same boxes you do. I bought my house when I was 22 (26 now), own a good car, went to uni and got a degree and have a well paying job. Funnily enough I'm also considering becoming a cop. I'm also bigger and stronger then most people, 6 foot and just under 200 pounds (silly imperial system!). Granted you do take things to a higher level with that, however I still doubt it's the problem.

I have been in fantastic shape and I have been overweight - my last year of uni absolutely killed my fitness due to the amount of hours I worked combined with a casual retail job while I studied. I put on weight and lost fitness. The net result? The amount of girls who wanted to jump me dropped. The girls who were actually interested in me as a person stayed exactly the same. Girls, the ones worth actually dating, don't really care what you look like.

Maybe you're full of yourself - the way you post certainly makes you seem that way - you seem to think that because you have muscles all girls should want you - when you are bigger and stronger then everyone else it's very easy to feel superior. If you think you're better then everyone else I guarantee other people know this. And no, it's not the same as being confident. This quality tends to be a HUGE turn off for all my female friends, many of whom are gamers.

Or maybe you're right, you're too big. Your profile pic is tiny so it's hard to see but you may have crossed the line for attractiveness. Once you get over a certain size it stops being attractive to the majority.

But as I said, looks might help, but personality is much more important. I don't know you so I can't really help you with that, but I can definitely tell you that any girl who is actually interested in you as a person is not going to care how big you are.

If it's really an issue, drop your size a bit. If you lost 20kgs of muscle you'd be sitting at about 100kgs and 6'3 - significantly bigger and stronger then most people. Whats the problem with that?

 

[psijac]

"...in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate)"

That's why.
You sound like an uber douche.
Most "nerdy women" (me) would classify you as a meat head and want nothing further to do with you.

You also don't know the difference between "lose" and "loose."

This is me being catty.

This is me being a model.




This is me leaving to play StarCraft.

You remind me of my high school sweetheart we fell in love over pokemon. She was half white have japanese. She put aside her gamer tendencies to become a join the Marine Corps. She dates meatheads well because they are the only guys lying around

 

[2fish]

I vote for bad luck and possibly clashing personalities with your targets.

Try again I suppose with new targets. You know the old saying, try, try try, try again.

Shoes seem out of place in my mind not sure why but they look wrong...

Will someone with fashion words help me translate guy words into fashion words...please?

 

[Geeky Anomaly]

They're probably just assuming(incorrectly I would wager), that because you look so good, that you'll be a colossal asshole. And because this is usually the case, they just try to avoid getting involved with you altogether, which is really unfair, but understandable.

Something you could try that has worked for friends of mine if finding a girl who you're interested in, and getting her into video games after you've dated for a bit. It's worth a shot.

 

[zedel]

Wow...just wow. People like different things. Is that a crime? I, for one, find muscles to be aesthetically repulsive. You, on the other hand, would probably disagree. Having muscles isn't a good or a bad thing, it is just a thing. It is up to the individual to put things into context. I believe I saw some sort of comment about someone with muscles being "out of their league". I feel this is ridiculous. I would suggest not thinking like that as it is a statement made only by the arrogant and arrogance can be quite off-putting to many. Reading through this thread, I just saw a lot of stereotyping and rude comments. Such is the human condition, I suppose.

 

[Avistew]

I can't speak for all female, straight gamers, but I can speak for myself as one of them.

I like guys who are nerdy, sweet and funny. If I date someone, it's because he'll be those things. I don't care much about appearance. I have preferences but they're secondary, and more of an after-the-fact kind of thing.

If I meet a guy who is super buff and wears tight clothing, my first though is going to be "this guy puts way too much importance on his appearance. We have different values". Mind you, wanting to be healthy is one thing, so working out isn't an issue in itself. But wearing clothes that show off your body, it's the kind of thing that turns me off. So maybe you do that. Same think with having huge muscles. Muscles don't need to be huge to work properly, the big ones are big just for show.

Secondly, if I'm in love with a guy and date him after rejecting another guy, and the first guy starts calling my boyfriend a loser for things I don't care about (living with his parents, working a crappy job) as though he's better than him, well I'm going to think the first guy is a massive douche and warn everyone about him.
You don't know why they like the other guy better. It's probably not because he lives with his parents and works at Wall-mart. More likely, these facts are completely irrelevant, and they like him for other reasons. For instance not assuming that chicks dislike nerdy stuff.

I don't think it's just a size thing. I mean, it's true that I prefer scrawny guys, preferably short ones. But my fiancé is 6'6" so obviously exceptions occur. Just because I have preferences in how someone looks doesn't mean I actually put them above more important stuff such as being smart and sweet. Maybe they use that as an excuse because it's easier than to say "you don't sound like someone I'd enjoy dating".

 

[Mischa87]

Well, being a 6 foot 2 woman, I actually require a pretty beefy guy, due to my own femininity issues mostly. Being a huge nerd, I also need that in a male in order for any sort of spark, it seems like a tough pair of shoes to fill really, not been much luck really. So, yes there are nerdy women into buff guys, I'm willing to bet many of them don't attribute nerdiness to beefy men. Also, your general tone in your posts kinda hint to some pretty severe ego issues, which also might be an issue, that said nerdy girls are more apt to picking up on. And on a personal note, any girl/guy that says "chick" is out of luck when it comes to receiving my attention. Keep trying though, you never know.

 

[RobinHood3000]

Shoes seem out of place in my mind not sure why but they look wrong...

Will someone with fashion words help me translate guy words into fashion words...please?

I dunno, they look fine to me. What do you suppose they would look better as? Shorter or wider heel? Closed toe? Or just a different color?

 

[AshuraSpeaks]

Long story short, i'm fairly successful (for my age, i'm 23 FYI). I own my own home (yes, own, no roommates) I have two vehicles, a great job, and I go to school...and when I graduate i'm going to have a career as a police officer. Now here's the thing, i'm a pretty big and fairly ripped (i'm 6'3, 260, with about 10% body fat) I workout as a hobby but I just have great genetics so I pack on muscle and loose fat like crazy... but I love it, I love looking this way and it's also good because, as a police officer, I will need to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the criminals i'm chasing down.

Now here's the thing, I love when a girl plays video games. There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate) Anyway, i've tried talking to a few(and by a few, I mean a lot) of those girls but i'll almost immediately get shut down bc they're like "look, you seem like a great guy... but you're just too fucking big." and then i'm all like "aww...damn... ". Here's the shitty part... they will then go and date some fucking loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents... because... I don't fucking know why actually.

Okay, so I know that story wasn't short... I was wondering what it is? Why will a gamer girl (because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen) And like I said, this isn't an isolated incident... it's happened more times than I can count. So anyway, what gives?

-EDIT- I like how many who have posted in this thread have made the assumption that having big muscles means that someone is lacking intelligence. In-fact, I believe that both the body and mind have to be strong... I could not of made it to where I am in life today if I was lacking intellect... so I would greatly appreciate it if people would stop assuming that I am not as smart as my nerdy (and slightly smaller) counterparts.

Well, think about what you said. The girls most interested are also the kind of girl generally associated with a...Crackdown Agent. Like, generally it's a girl who's been obsessed with her looks and afraid to look at all nerdy around her friends who's like "Oooh, muscles!" and (no offense meant, warrior monk sir) often times go for the douchebag who looks good as arm candy (even if at home he's abusive, controlling, etc.). On the flipside, gamer girls are excited for the effeminate geek who won't make them feel intimidated, and will spend (no offense meant, fellow squishy gamers) more time gaming with them than at the gym on any day of the week.

So when you go for a gamer chick (at least, on average) you'll need to overcome the hurdle of your book cover before you can get an honest assessment.

 

[DustyDrB]

Eh...it probably is something else and she just didn't want to tell you. If a girl was willing to go on a date with you, then your looks weren't the issue to begin with. I wouldn't take it personally. Some people's personalities just clash. I've been told that I'm "too aloof" many times. That's true, as I really have a hard to listening to people talk about their problems. We're all with our faults.

In the meantime, think on the positive side: I've never even really met a girl gamer. My last girlfriend loved Zelda and that was about it (which was cool, because I also love Zelda). Beyond that, I don't know any girls who play games period. Though I do know a ton of surfer and hippie girls. They are generally fun.

 

[Princess_Dee]

I vote for bad luck and possibly clashing personalities with your targets.

Try again I suppose with new targets. You know the old saying, try, try try, try again.

Shoes seem out of place in my mind not sure why but they look wrong...

Will someone with fashion words help me translate guy words into fashion words...please?

Actually that's really funny that you say that!
The picture is for the shoes! They are in the Carlos Santana line and they are supposed to stand out =P

**no thread jack**

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I know nothing of picking up chicks, but it seems like you might be coming on a little too strongly. "I'm totally awesome and ripped and rich! Let's do stuff to each other!" It would be just as bad as that "wal-mart loser" walking up and saying "I'm a shitty pathetic loser. Go out with me." or "I work at Wal-mart, baby!!!! Let's do it!!!" Over confidence is just as bad as too little. The "too big" excuse is probably just an excuse. Also, muscles are not inherently universally attractive.

 

[Dags90]

Shoes seem out of place in my mind not sure why but they look wrong...

Will someone with fashion words help me translate guy words into fashion words...please?

Imo, the color of the shoe clashes with the scarf. The color match of the scarf and dress is thrown off by the similarity but not matching of the shoes.