I've been seeing a lot about "bullying" the last few days and this morning I see a CNN article about a Canadian girl who committed suicide after making a YouTube video. Then I come here and see a thread about it with everyone saying "bullying is horrible, needs to stop, we need to legislate, we need to parent better, we need to have better safety nets, we need to have zero tolerance policies" etc etc ad nauseum.
Here's the thing: Bullying will never, ever, ever, ever be something we can get rid of through any means anyone can ever come up with .
You know why? Because more often than not, people don't know they're being bullies.
Kids don't wake up one day and physically say to themselves "I think I'll make Joey's life miserable to the point he kills himself because I hate his guts." Kids do what they do and sometimes that happens to be something someone finds mean. We don't communicate with each other; we expect people to know things by the looks we give them. You see that crap in relationships. If no one tells the "bully" what they are doing is hurtful and "bully-ish" then they will never know and will continue to do it. Often it is a case of them believing it is benignly funny, not realizing it actually isn't. There is always talk of the victim being young and incapable of comprehending the idea that they could stand up for themselves. What makes the bullies so different? Nothing. They are children of the same age and they are often incapable of comprehending on their own that their actions may have outside consequences as well.
I'll grant you that there are indeed some assholes out there that do it because they think its hilarious (trolls, for example) but more often than not, bullies are just like everyone else.
Think of all the times you've done something to someone and they took offense to it but you didn't find out until months or perhaps years later. How did you feel?
My point here is that yes, bullying is a problem. But legislating it away is never going to solve the issue. As long as children are around each other, there will be bullies. There always have been and there always will be. That's just how human nature works. So instead of demonizing them, (when, lets be real, you don't even know them) educate them. Tell them they are being mean.
I guarantee you the kids that were involved with the YouTube girl feel like utter pieces of shit now because they realize now what they were doing. Open your mind, look at things from outside your own perspective. Or better yet, apply your perspective to someone else. Chances are it's pretty close to theirs.
Here's the thing: Bullying will never, ever, ever, ever be something we can get rid of through any means anyone can ever come up with .
You know why? Because more often than not, people don't know they're being bullies.
Kids don't wake up one day and physically say to themselves "I think I'll make Joey's life miserable to the point he kills himself because I hate his guts." Kids do what they do and sometimes that happens to be something someone finds mean. We don't communicate with each other; we expect people to know things by the looks we give them. You see that crap in relationships. If no one tells the "bully" what they are doing is hurtful and "bully-ish" then they will never know and will continue to do it. Often it is a case of them believing it is benignly funny, not realizing it actually isn't. There is always talk of the victim being young and incapable of comprehending the idea that they could stand up for themselves. What makes the bullies so different? Nothing. They are children of the same age and they are often incapable of comprehending on their own that their actions may have outside consequences as well.
I'll grant you that there are indeed some assholes out there that do it because they think its hilarious (trolls, for example) but more often than not, bullies are just like everyone else.
Think of all the times you've done something to someone and they took offense to it but you didn't find out until months or perhaps years later. How did you feel?
My point here is that yes, bullying is a problem. But legislating it away is never going to solve the issue. As long as children are around each other, there will be bullies. There always have been and there always will be. That's just how human nature works. So instead of demonizing them, (when, lets be real, you don't even know them) educate them. Tell them they are being mean.
I guarantee you the kids that were involved with the YouTube girl feel like utter pieces of shit now because they realize now what they were doing. Open your mind, look at things from outside your own perspective. Or better yet, apply your perspective to someone else. Chances are it's pretty close to theirs.
