Why Can?t Men Aim?

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emeraldrafael

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Jonluw said:
We used to run and piss at the same time? That sounds like it'd get messy quick for us men. Guess women have the advantage at that point.
No, that was back when the alternative was stop and get eaten by a tiger. Women lost, cause they had to stop, and thus were eaten.

Jonluw said:
I imagine he sort of crouches over the toilet bowl? I mean, I've tried to "sit down" without actually touching the toilet seat in desperate moments, normally including a gas station toilet.
No, he says he stands. Cause I do the same thing you just described if I'm in an area where I know the toilet gets alot of traffic from people of all ranges (and thus diseases of all ranges).

Again, I dont want to know how he does it, and I refuse to ask.
 

HellsingerAngel

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emeraldrafael said:
No.. just that grown men are talking about your junk. I get creeped out when my friends Rabbi talks about circumcisions. It just seems like that place is one of those things no one should really talk to you about outside a doctor (and I get weirded out when he tests me for pull groins and hernias).
Again, I'm confused. Never in the conversation were the organs in which we pee out of brought up in said conversations. We were talking about peeing, both boys and girls, because it was key to our survival (or rather comfort) while camping in the winter. You know what else we had to talk about which involved peeing? Making sure not to pee near a stream or drinkable water source and how far we need to be away so it doesn't contaminate. *gasp!* The horror of talking about peeing!

Seriously... since when is talking about peeing considered grounds for being a sexual predator? If that's true, we're all guilty of being pedophiles/rapists right now!
 

Jonluw

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May 23, 2010
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Jonluw said:
If it was red, it would've been easy to see without the blacklight, and how do you notice that it's red under a blacklight at all? I thought blood just sort of lighted up under blacklight.
Blacklights are usually what SOCO (UK CSI) use to detect blood traces. It allows oxygenated (red) blood to show but hides de-oxygenated (blue) blood.

Makes it almost impossible to hide blood splatters and almost impossible to intravenously inject - solving two problems at once.

I bet you thought this conversation couldn't get any grosser ;)
Nah, blood doesn't gross me out.
So the blacklight only shows "red" blood; but doesn't it still just have a sort of fluorescent white colour under the blacklight?

I guess the druggies have to find some way to inject into their arteries then.
 

Wolfram23

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If any semen is left in the "chamber" whether after sex, masturbation, or just a leak like pre-cum or whatever, it can harden. There's a hilarious scene in My, Myself, and Irene where it happens to Jim Carrey's character... but anyway if that happens it'll shoot out any which way until it breaks the "seal". I've had it shoot out in 2 streams before... But other than that, the only time I get piss on the seat is from drips when I'm finishing so I always just wipe it with a bit of toilet paper when I'm done.
 

Jonluw

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May 23, 2010
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emeraldrafael said:
No, he says he stands. Cause I do the same thing you just described if I'm in an area where I know the toilet gets alot of traffic from people of all ranges (and thus diseases of all ranges).

Again, I dont want to know how he does it, and I refuse to ask.
...
I guess he just stands with one leg on either side of the toilet and hopes for the best?
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Jonluw said:
So the blacklight only shows "red" blood; but doesn't it still just have a sort of fluorescent white colour under the blacklight?
Simplistically yes, but still it's something to avoid.
I guess the druggies have to find some way to inject into their arteries then.
That would be a BAD (read FATAL) idea. For a start, you then have the heart pumping blood directly into the needle. Then you'd have the air-pocket that would appear. Then you would be bleeding to death, while your body has a aneurysm, while coming up.
 

Fearzone

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Dec 3, 2008
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If you piss after you've had sex or are in a partial state of erection, aiming does become unpredictable, and sometimes there is a spray effect. In these cases, particularly when I'm visiting someone, I go ahead and sit down.
 

Booze Zombie

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I've got more women than men in my house, somehow the females get urine all over our seats. It's annoying.
 

nuba km

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Jonluw said:
Men can aim, it's just that the trajectory of the piss isn't always too predictable. Sometimes the stream just goes in a different direction than you had expected. Orifices aren't that predictable.
Have you ever tried pouring water from a glass, only to find that the water runs down the glass instead of going straight down? That might happen towards the end of a peeing-session, when pressure is sinking.
Oh, and the infamous "split stream". That one's always delightful.

I always clean up if I make a mess though. Anything else would be gross.

You know, sometimes I wonder why I don't just sit.
[sub]Men are supposed to stand, damnit! That's just what we do. We are gifted with the ability to stand, and we'll be damned if we don't use it to its fullest.[/sub]
yeah this is pretty much it, also missed when you piss really strongly and it sprays everywhere, I mean I once got all the toilet seat covered even though the centre of the stream was going straight into the middle.
also when it starts of going diagonal but just as you adjust your aim it goes to the normal straight beam.
 

Jonluw

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May 23, 2010
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Jonluw said:
So the blacklight only shows "red" blood; but doesn't it still just have a sort of fluorescent white colour under the blacklight?
Simplistically yes, but still it's something to avoid.
But wouldn't it then be indistinguishable from the pee stains on the toilet seat...?
I guess the druggies have to find some way to inject into their arteries then.
That would be a BAD (read FATAL) idea. For a start, you then have the heart pumping blood directly into the needle. Then you'd have the air-pocket that would appear. Then you would be bleeding to death, while your body has a aneurysm, while coming up.
Not that doing any drugs you actually have to inject is usually such a good idea in the first place, but I see.

Edit: Jeez, this has been the most intense thread I've ever replied to. I'm exhausted from posting every minute.
 

BehattedWanderer

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Jun 24, 2009
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Oy! I take mild and pretend offense to that, I most decisively can aim! I can target individual spots, create letters, pinpoint individual insects, and specific rocks/plants when in need.

But, in fairness, sometimes things aren't so clearly defined. Splitstream (where the urine divulges in two different directions) can occur if the male doesn't urinate after ejaculation, whereupon some seminal fluid can remain in the penis, momentarily interfering with fluid flow. If it's been pushed to the side a bit while we were seated for awhile, we may not be aware which exact cardinal direction the head is facing, and so might have to alter the angle immediately after initiation. Maybe it has a bit of a natural bend to it, and that has to be compensated for, causing a bit of off-shoot. Men with foreskins probably have a set of additional worries. And then there's the matter of pressure, which is a whole lecture on thermodynamic systems that I wouldn't even begin to get into. And gods help you if there's something more interesting than our meat (Though, this is hard to do) on the wall that we want to stare at and read.

Though, there is the occasional "how far back can I stand, arcing my high pressured piss into the bowl" challenge, followed by the immediate run back to the bowl to deposit the last few drops.
 

kannibus

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Sep 21, 2009
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You know, this is why I always sit down. Hell, I want my experience to be as relaxing as possible and standing on my wobbly legs ain't going to make it that way.
 

Baldry

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Feb 11, 2009
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I frequently miss, it' annoying, I have many theories but the best thing to do is sit down or aim from the side...
 

Bloodastral

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Sep 3, 2010
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I usualy take my mouse and a joystick into the bathroom to help me aim. It's a sensitivity thing as my cursor is all over the place and usualy I spray the walls yellow. Sometimes if i've been drinking Curacao I can produce a pleasant shade of turquoise.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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Because they put all their concentration into aiming their guns on COD. =P

Seriously, my boyfriend isn't like that at least. Our house mate is, we had to tell him to clean up after himself. Our house mate gets faeces all around the toilet bowl and sometimes on the paper. Lovely.