Why Can?t Men Aim?

[GBlair88]

Why can't people tell the difference between the words 'then' and 'than' I ask you.

Men can aim, but sometimes that which we are trying to aim decides to face a different direction mid flow. Then of course the flow can change direction independently or the pressure may change. All of which can add up to a mess.

 

[Knusper]

Yeah, it's unpredictable, but no way am I sitting down. I had to do it when I was on a Navy Cadet Course in Scotland because peeing standing up whilst the boat is rocking abouts the place makes it go everywhere; anyway, it wasn't exactly that comfortable.

 

[FamoFunk]

Edit: Jeez, this has been the most intense thread I've ever replied to. I'm exhausted from posting every minute.

Men taking a piss seems to be a very complex, intense situation.

This is what I'm feeling from the thread.

 

[WorldCritic]

I can aim, but I swear my suitemates can't aim to save their lives whether their drunk or sober. It gets even worse when I realize that I'm the only one who's aware enough to actually clean the fucking bathroom.

 

[WendelI]

Best explination ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXcl4vj4Jl0

Lol yeah, i remember watching this a while back... It does indeed explain everything.

 

[Odbarc]

Having a slight erection can alter the direction of the urine. Sometimes at the very beginning the burst of urine sprays in a non-straight direction. There's no predicting other than previous experience and hope for the best. You can't master random.

Jonluw:
Oh, and the infamous "split stream". That one's always delightful.

Ha ha ha, I forgot about this. Good call.

 

[Kinguendo]

Imagine if the bullet didnt always go where the barrel was pointing... yeah, try to deal with that factor. You cant always aim at the wall because, y'know, most of the time you will just be peeing on a wall.

EDIT: And also, no one is more annoyed about this than guys anyway... do you want to know why? Because more often than not it ends up going on your trousers! Your bloody trousers!

 

[Zechnophobe]

Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?



Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!

Step 1: Find a squirt Gun. Test that it shoots straight
Step 2: Remove a strand or two of your own hair (from your head is fine)
Step 3: Place strand of hair over nozzle of Gun, fire.
Step 4: Observe.

Now, that might explain why things.. go awry sometimes, especially in the dark at night. But why the guy doesn't clean up afterwards? That's just gross. No excuse for that. It's like how there are many reasons someone can be addicted to cigarettes, but no good ones for why they just throw their cig butts wherever they feel like it.

 

[michael87cn]

Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?

I have a better question, why don't men just sit down to pee? I'm a man and I do, except in public toilets. Standing to pee is lazy and dirty. You don't NEED to hold your genitals to relieve yourself. You can sit down, do your business in the privacy of your home, and use a tissue to flush. Now you don't need to wash your hands or worry about urinating all over your own toilet. No germs, no hassle.

Inb4 somehow thats^ not manly.



Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!

 

[michael87cn]

Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?

I have a better question, why don't men just sit down to pee? I'm a man and I do, except in public toilets. Standing to pee is lazy and dirty. You don't NEED to hold your genitals to relieve yourself. You can sit down, do your business in the privacy of your home, and use a tissue to flush. Now you don't need to wash your hands or worry about urinating all over your own toilet. No germs, no hassle.

Inb4 somehow thats^ not manly.



Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!

 

[michael87cn]

Sorry about the triple post. Browser got stuck and I hit refresh a couple times... heh.

 

[Madara XIII]

You know, sometimes I wonder why I don't just sit.

Because your balls would be cut off and taken back to the man factory, that's why!

OT: Well, drunk because err... we're drunk.

And maybe they're just trying out some tricks if they're sober and still missing.

o.o ...I'm gonna start standing up again.

I like my junk where it is.

 

[Agayek]

Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?



Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!

There's a handful of possible reasons one can miss the toilet. First among them is when aforementioned piss just comes out in an unexpected direction. I can't speak for everyone, but as I'm uncircumcised, occasionally the foreskin will end up interfering with the flow and making it go in weird (and sometimes multiple) directions. The remainder of the reasons are typically some combination of being drunk, stupid or trying and failing to make some trick shots.

The reason it's not cleaned up afterwards it's simply pure laziness.

 

[Leemaster777]

Personally, I've never really had a problem with my aim. Lift seat, piss, replace seat. And if I ever DO get some on the toilet, I always clean it.

Hell, I don't even have a problem pissing when I'm drunk. I got black-out drunk on New Years, but you wouldn't be able to tell from the toilet.

Maybe you just live with pigs.

 

[Kraj]

ech... right after you have sex I'm pretty sure "pee direction = 1d10+rand 1-100"

the formula sucks... but so does predicting where it's going to go.

 

[Jonluw]

Edit: Jeez, this has been the most intense thread I've ever replied to. I'm exhausted from posting every minute.

Men taking a piss seems to be a very complex, intense situation.

This is what I'm feeling from the thread.

Spoiler: We menfolk are very involved with our equipment, and every moment we endavour to improve our abilities with it, and the womenfolks understanding of it.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

Usually after the act of masturbation as you can see pee exits squint, meaning it will go off at roughly forty five degree angle on to the unlifted toilet seat, wall, floor or perhaps the guy stood next to you in a urinal.

 

[captaincabbage]

Because it's hard when you're drunk. Have you ever tried to put water in a bucket by squeezing a drink bottle when you're absolutely drunk off your arse? It's not that easy.

 

[Addz86]

Try this little experiment, go into the back yard with a bucket and a hose. Now put the hose about an inch above the bucket, aim the hose down and turn it on. Thats what it is like peeing as a girl.

Now empty the bucket and start again. This time attach a sprinkler head to the hose and place the bucket about 10 feet away now turn on the hose... you get the idea. If the guy you live with dribbles a few drops, then he deserves a medal, not a complaint.

 

[black_omega2]

I'm 6' 4'' so there's no way I piss standing up when I'm using a toilet. I just kneel, and it works out nicely for the most part. No mess