Why can't I eat people???

[blankedboy]

"Yeah, well you're a DISHWASHER!"
(in response to "I don't cum on my own face!") "I do!"
"Something smells like testicles..."

Also, play Prototype if you wanna eat people.

 

[Dfskelleton]

One time in the middle of a conversation with my friends and I suddenly said "If rabbits could explode and carry M16's, they would be the perfect soldiers."
Another time, one of my friends randomly said "What's 2+2?" and a friend said "I think it's six." and I yelled "NO YOU FREAKING MORON! IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE NUMBER W!"

 

[PatrickXD]

I can't remember what my friend said but it was something about an orgy and feeling sore.

Oh the infinite possibilities...
OT: I randomly start singing lyrics to songs, usually metal or folk and fairly loud as well. For example, yesterday I sang the chorus of Chop Suey! by System of a Down, but the misheard lyrics including 'Why'd you put the kids upon the table?!?'

 

[Edward Heffner]

a bunch of my friend were talking about pokemon and i walk in an say "i like airplanes too" it was weird so whenever somebody says they are the most random person ever i throw that at them.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

"I just thought of an awesome idea... flaming lesbians." The conversation I was in at that moment was actually about video games.

That could be an awesome video game opponent.. or potential threesome.

<_<

During a math class on division in Gr. 5: "Sex is when two parents come together in a really special hug, allowing bodily fluids to transfer inbetween one another through.."

.. I have no idea why. Though rest assured, I got funny looks for the rest of the class.

 

[Edward Heffner]

enjoy

http://www.splitreason.com/Product_Images/90b193379837-xl.jpg

 

[Cowabungaa]

The weirdest thing? Oh damn I'm so full of strangeness I couldn't remember. It'd probably be something nerdy mixed with something perverted. People usually only get the perverted part.

This wasn't me, but a stupid girl that I used to go to school with had her pants unzipped. Her friend whispered to her, "your fly is down," and she responded by screaming "they can see my VAGINA?!"
The class ended up writing a report on why it's not okay to talk about vaginas during school.

Be a rebel! Play this in class really loud:
VAGINA'S ON MOTORCYCLES!!! So immature, gotta love it.

 

[Jovlo]

Well you can eat people, but that is called cannibalism, and that is generally frowned upon by society.

(About the only line I enjoyed in Tim Burtons Charlie and the Chocolate factory.)

 

[Yarggg]

Because that would be just weird. And mean. And cruel.

 

[-Samurai-]

I was walking around a Wal-Mart with a friend of mine. I was helping him move and the truck we rented was parked outside, pretty much completely full. He had a sectional couch that comes apart in 2 places(into 3 pieces) and we didn't have room for the whole thing. Someone walked by and heard;

Him: "If you could just take the whole thing..."
Me: "I cant fit it all in there without something breaking. I mean, its yours so I don't really care, I just don't want you to be pissed when your shit breaks and you can't use it anymore."

 

[The Arc of Eden]

This was from another kid in my yoga class. He was right behind me and we were just learning a new pose called the Frog, which is basically the doggy style position glorified. After the whole class got into position (I admit I was thinking along the same lines) he blurted out across the room to his friend "Can you imagine if [Insert Female name here] was here? Poppin' that ass?!"
To which the teacher responded "Kaleb! You seriously did not just say that out loud!"

 

[bigsby]

VAGINA'S ON MOTORCYCLES!!! So immature, gotta love it.

That made me laugh like super super hard.
OT: Would probably be screaming:
"Thats not fair!!! You never let me f*ck your friends!!!" At my sis while at the mall. We do stuff like that just for laughs.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Me: OH MY GOD A BUG!!!! DIEEEEEE!!!" *slaps wall*
teacher: OUT!

 

[SonicWaffle]

I don't make any particularly random statements, but if someone were to overhear some of my conversations they wouldn't make a lot of sense. Last week a workmate and I were discussing replacing the World Cup with a better championship; each country sends their national animal, and we have a fighting tournament. An old lady gave us an odd look as she walked past, because we were debating whether or not to allow aquatic animals to fight land based ones, or to put them in a category of their own. If we did allow them to fight, would the fight be in or out of water? It was a tough debate.

A friend of mine has a tendency towards bizarre, out-of-the-blue text messages. The other day he messaged me just to say "Google 'Maddie McCann blow-up doll'". Before that it was "Shitcunt", generally sent at around two in the morning.

 

[theklng]

Prion diseases would be a good reason, for starters. They're fascinating, but sadly turn your brain into swiss.

it would be interesting to see if these could actually mutate to become akin to fungal prions, thus giving people a chance of evolutionary advantage

 

[Kyuubi Fanatic]

I remember suddenly blurting this out during a conversation with my buddies. I know, it's a stupid question, but it got me thinking, what's the funniest, most out of place statement you guys have ever said in the middle of a conversation?

I was ordering some food at Taco Bell with my girlfriend, and since she works there, she asked me if I wanted tacos or burritos. I said in a loud tone, ''I'm not much for burritos anymore, and the only Taco I like to nacho is yours!''

Yeah, people stared and laughed. She was pretty embarrassed though. xD

Nice one! ^_^

I too wonder why we can't eat people. I wonder if we taste good...

The most off the wall thing I've ever said in public...hmm I say a lot of random things actually and now that you put me on the spot I can't remember the funniest XP

I've asked about cannibalism, mentioned hermaphrodites, religiously damning questions during catholic mass (went to a catholic HS), pretty much anything my wondering daydreaming mind may go

 

[yoyo13rom]

During a tense poker game I said :"Charlie! Candy mountain Charlie!"
Everyone just started laughing out loud.

 

[Blackdoom]

In the middle of an oral presentation a guy did at my school today he managed to fit the words and the guy sitting at the back is rubbing his nipples without breaking sentence about what ever he was talking about.

I have to many random things that I say because I stop paying attention to conversations.
From today alone.
You know we should get a Velocirapotor and give it roller skates.
Fuck the Swiss and their neutrality
You know it would be awesome if dogs could breath fire
We need a dead monkey, a Zeppelin and a bucket of fried chicken
Does cheese feel pain?
And finally in my presentation I am the future king of bacon.

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

Not me, my friend who was currently playing cod at the time.


"WAIT WAIT WAIT! I NEED TO THROW UP MY PICKING KNIFE!"
It was made funnier by the fact that no one was talking and it was a very tense SnD round.

Also, a different friend (this was a few years ago mind you), we had to do an oral assignment on our families genealogy. This guy gets up there and starts off with
"In my old people side of the family..."