Why do so many guys here suck at talking to or doing pretty much anything with girls?

[NotAPie]

I don't have any trouble talking to girls I just suck at flirting.

 

[sdafdfhrye3245]

Umm, how about the fact that we are all a bunch of gamers? That's probably a pretty good reason.

No, there are SOOO many people who can play video games and still have average (or even good) social skills. It's not a result of video games, it's something else.

Umm I dont consider people that go and play mabey an hour of halo a gamer

 

[RandV80]

I think being on the internet doesn't help either. If you look at places like Fark or sports forums, post a picture of a women and to far too many their attractiveness seems to be judged on the jack-off quality meter. For example, put up a picture of some athletes caught partying at a club with some chicks (no proper lighting or airbrushing) or say that girl on murder trial in Italy standing normally in a court room, and you always get a few "they're not hot" comments. As if to be 'hot' you need to be surgically enhanced, professionally shot, and airbrushed.

 

[Nemu]

Umm, how about the fact that we are all a bunch of gamers? That's probably a pretty good reason.

That's sort-of what I was thinking, but then again...I'm a gamer, and my gf is a gamer.

The big difference is that she and I go outside and do things.


I'm thinking a lot (not ALL, just a LOT) of folks here don't do that... Or even really interact with folks outside of spewing hate and curses at opposing players via XBox Live.

 

[Marik2]

I must say I am one of that small majority of men who has no problem talking to girls. Many of my friends, both online and offline, are women and I find it no harder to talk to them than any of my male friends. I play games with women, I go out to town with women, I talk to women on a daily basis. As far as I'm concerned, everyone is just a person and I don't treat them any differently regardless of their gender.

We both have the same views. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Froobyx]

Alright, I like a lot of these responses.

Oh dear. Whats with all the threads about girls being all radgy bout the way guys are on this forum, first the girl gamer thread and then this.

It's just some girls are so stuck up and have such high standards that some guys who arent mega sports freaks just dont have a chance. Maybe you should be blaming the girls for the reason that many nerds/ geeks/ gamers can't talk to girls... They just get ditched straight away.

Then theres the not many girls are gonna have the same common interests as a typical male gamer... If they did it'd be easier for the guys to talk to them instead of sounding like a freak.. Hell I get funny looks when I talk to guys about games.

So I think you were being kinda unfair taking a hit at the guys here...

Yeah I figured I'd cater to the audience here, what with the millions of thread created here concerning guy and girl social dynamics.

No, what you just defined was a very cliche'd stereotype of "girls go for jocks, not nerds". It's not at all the same in real life. In fact you'll find girls care way more about a guy's personality than how buff he is (buff does give an advantage, but no deal-breaker). That's why confidence is gold.

I wasn't stereotyping, most girls I know don't go for the gamer type guys, or avoid them completely, things may be different over there in America...

Yes confidence goes a long way but people who spend their time on the internet playing games and shit tend not to have a lot of social skills from my experience. Hell I had no social skills until I started college 2 years ago.

I could easily say I have trouble talking to girls, which I do because they share no common interest in me, that's why 95% of my friends are male. How is a guy whose main interests are gaming gonna have a conversation about games and stuff with someone who isn't?

 

[Malodrik]

The thing that most people don't seem to understand is that when you're talking to the opposite sex, it's all about charisma and how you present yourself. Awkward silences aren't going to get you anywhere, and neither is hemming and hawwing while you stare at her chest.

Just be open, be friendly, and most of all, eye contact. Always.

 

[AplChild]

It's a case of people thinking they're cool because they're not. Feeling smug about the irony. Gamers being typically lazy and never bothered trying to get a girl love that solace in having an excuse and feeling cool about it. Now, whenever they have the chance with a girl they self-sabotage. So again, a group of people hide behind a cliché, and call it irony "I'm a geek, geeks don't get girls".

I've only ever had one girlfriend to be fair. But I've told anyone I've ever liked that I liked them.

Guys, it's not funny anymore. If you want a girlfriend, try! No shame in failing, because everyone does now and again. At least try instead of not bothering so you can keep your "Gamer reputation"

 

[cikame]

It's just something i've never been able to do, i have no reasons, no attempted explanations to try and make you understand because i've just learned to live with it, so i'm not supposed to have a relationship.... oh well.

 

[LordWalter]

They rolled a low charisma stat.

AHAHAHAHA, I quite literally lol'd.

Epic Win.

Exibit A) Nerd Slang

It's almost like being in a cult, really.

 

[funguy2121]

Umm, how about the fact that we are all a bunch of gamers? That's probably a pretty good reason.

This. Although there are plenty of girl gamers now and it's more acceptable for a dude to play games. Also, bear in mind that because this is a gaming site, quite a few members are teenagers or younger and have yet to learn any skills regarding women.

I have noticed a trend, one that did not surprise me in the least: creating threads or responses to threads that extoll the person's sexual exploits and general ass-kickery. It's so widespread that it's become something of a trend of self-effacing humor, like "I have 7 girlfriends. I just wanted to say that on a gaming forum "

And obviously, anyone who talks all day about how many notches he has in his bedpost, has no notches in his bedpost. It says something about the people The Escapist attracts, but certainly not all of its members. I think your estimation of this problem is exaggerated.

 

[Flamezdudes]

No idea, but i'm getting better at it. Unfortunatly, i've still never had a Girlfriend.

 

[Saris Kai]

Most guys on this site are geeks or nerds, that's why. They need a good helping of SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY, then after a few months they will probably be more laid back around girls and if that doesn't work having enough weed and money to SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY will get them girls. I know I've gotten girls for no reason other than drugs being involved but whatever, it not like I would actually want anything long term with someone like that but in the short term who cares.

 

[Le_Lisra]

Very simple.

Having not a lot in common.

If there's nothing to talk about then its gonna be awkward. Same with guys. I can talk with anyone who has at least one interest in common with me.. if not then its more difficult.

Also: smalltalk is a social skill.

 

[esperandote]

No idea, but i'm getting better at it. Unfortunatly, i've still never had a Girlfriend.

C'mon you're only 15, I started dating at 17 and after that it has been GF after GF. Piece of advice, join the gym.

 

[Legion]

If you don't think it's to do with gaming then how about coincidence? There are a lot of members here and a significant portion are completely comfortable around girls/women, seeing as this is a natural thing you simply don't here about it. Whereas those who have an issue with social relationships with girls/women are more likely to be vocal because they want to know how to sort it out, hence all the relationship threads.

Umm, how about the fact that we are all a bunch of gamers? That's probably a pretty good reason.

No... That's a stupid reason. My friend who plays the most video games and was at one point pretty much addicted to Halo 3 is in a 4 year relationship and currently living with his girlfriend. He is 20.

 

[Atheist.]

I think the OP is attempting to project his inept social skills on the rest of us.

 

[President Moocow]

I could easily say I have trouble talking to girls, which I do because they share no common interest in me, that's why 95% of my friends are male. How is a guy whose main interests are gaming gonna have a conversation about games and stuff with someone who isn't?

The same way as a guy who's main interest is football. You talk about other stuff that's actually interesting to her. If all you talk about is video games, you're boring and not just to girls. Same thing with football, did you really think girls want to hear about everything there is to know about football and nothing else? You can't drone on and on about an obsession and expect girls to be interested and you certainly can't say that's the ONLY thing you ever talk about and use that as an excuse for why you can't talk to girls. The sports guy wins because he's genuinely interested (or in some cases pretending to be interested) in her because he'd like to know more about her.

So many people who claim to only game often find out as they mature they have a lot more experiences in common with girls (and people in general) than they think. I'm not about to try and explain the dynamics of how social life works, but if you want some advice, feel free to make a thread and I'd love to help you out.

It's a case of people thinking they're cool because they're not. Feeling smug about the irony. Gamers being typically lazy and never bothered trying to get a girl love that solace in having an excuse and feeling cool about it. Now, whenever they have the chance with a girl they self-sabotage. So again, a group of people hide behind a cliché, and call it irony "I'm a geek, geeks don't get girls".

I've only ever had one girlfriend to be fair. But I've told anyone I've ever liked that I liked them.

Guys, it's not funny anymore. If you want a girlfriend, try! No shame in failing, because everyone does now and again. At least try instead of not bothering so you can keep your "Gamer reputation"

Aha, now I'd say this is probably my favorite response so far. If I was looking for an actual answer to the question I think you seem to have nailed it.

Speak for yourself.

No need to be so sensitive about it.