What being an escapist to me means: A small essay by Hey Joe
I remember I woke up one day and opened the blinds, at first the gleaming light rendered me without sight, but slowly as my eyes adjusted to the outside world I realised it was a sunny day. The birds were singing, the gals were swinging and the hobos were swilling their scotch straight from the brown paper bag, as all good hobos do. In short, it was a wonderful day to be alive.
So of course I decided to stay indoors and work on my farmer's tan (I'm going for the record). But what to do indoors? Indoors, to me at least is a constricted space, it's like there are these sort of metaphorical walls holding you back.
I search my collection of pretentious art-house films, and decide there's only so often I can watch films about coma rape. So, my eyes laze around the room I come to this wierd device that is being illuminated from the slither of sunlight coming from outside. It is the gleaming presence of my 360.
I turn it on, and immediately I feel a sense of satisfaction. Here I am, it's a beautiful day and I don't have to go into work or uni. So I'm being fragged by zombies, and zombies with shotguns for some reason and I'm thinking 'you know what? this would be fun on multiplayer!'.
So I connect to a multiplayer game, and I notice that the glare off my screen is less noticeable than it was before. I take a quick look outside and I see the clouds are a gatherin'.
"LOL! FAGBALLZ! N00b! IM TEH HAXZ0RS!"
Oh the pain! The humanity! I turn mute on, and I start to question my love of coma rape films as some sort of backlash against my self-inflicted masochism. Why, oh why did I possibly think this would be a good idea!?
Having lost my faith in humanity, I come downstairs to check my emails and what have you. I'm pointlessly surfing when I come across this funny little site I like to call called the Escapist. I click on the forums expecting smack-talk as if it were doled out by narcoleptic pandas without a thesaurus, but instead, I find a ray of hope.
The weather improves outside.
I see a forum littered with well-meaning debate, intelligent questions, hilarious personalities and a camaraderie that can't be beat. I smile, and I make my first post, by the end of the day, I will have 13 posts, and by the end of the next, I will have 50.
A couple of days later, I look toward the 360 again, remembering with a wince my last experience with online gaming, and I think 'why the hell not?', and I boot it up.
This, ladies and gentlemen is what being an escapist means to me. It means hope, the hope that somewhere, out there in the dregs of cyberspace are those unafraid to use punctuation or a dictionary. Now, for every bad experience I have online, I have you guys and gals to thank for two good ones.
From,
Hey Joe.