cause being in a relationship is technically cheaper than coke and hookers or the old rub and tug.
Why get into a relationship if you don't intend to go long-term?
- Thread starter Sansha
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For the same reason we play video games that won't last forever--it's fun. I wouldn't go as far as some here and say it's just for sex (seems kind of shallow to me) but having a close relationship with someone is a great way to feel loved and to relax. It's like a drug that makes you happy 
Some people just enjoy the short term and the relationship at the now moment. I'm like you Sansha in that I do enjoy more long term relationships, I simply can't imagine voluntarily not caring about the future and just enjoying the now. Doesn't mean our view is right nor does it mean others views are wrong. Just different preferences.
I wish you good luck in finding someone's who's view matches yours!
I wish you good luck in finding someone's who's view matches yours!
See, that's the thing. Where I am, there doesn't seem to be any benefits at all. There probably are, but in that case they're so small they might as well not exist.WolfThomas said:
Because everyone lives in the US, right?TestECull said:
In terms of your views on relationships, I am the same. I don't enjoy casual dating and if I choose to be in a relationship with someone, it is because I am interested in something long term and towards marriage. That is simply because we are people who know what we want in a relationship, nothing more and nothing less.Sansha said:
Some people do not want to be attached or "tied down" to anyone, so they decide to play the field and generally have a good time. Some like to play games to make a relationship fun, spontaneous, and too detached to be compared to anything serious. Other are seeking for something specific (a physical relationship, a one-time fling, someone to spoon/cuddle with, someone to display a short-term affection to, etc.) and usually go after it.
I personally don't like to play games while in a relationship because I'm not a child/teenager and I am looking for some commitment when in a relationship. If after a few dates I become aware that me and the woman I'm seeing are on different pages, I just break it off and move on to someone who I feel is interested in something exclusive.
Did he say everyone lives in the US? You don't need to answer that, because he didn't. If you could take things into context, you could see that he was talking about specific examples involving people getting married in the US.KarmaTheAlligator said:
For fuck's sakes, he even started that post off with "And in the US"
OT: Because dating is fun. And people like fun. Generally.
Fair enough, but you can't refute what I said just because it doesn't happen the same way in your country. He also seem to imply that I should somehow know what happens in the US.JoesshittyOs said:
In fact, my point still stands because what he said is completely irrelevant to anyone not living in the US.
You my friend wins today's "Wise man award". Most of what you said is very true, and I agree to the fullest.BloatedGuppy said:
This is why I don't care if I ever get married, as long as I am happy right?
And why is the end result more important than how you get the result?
PS: Good video on Monogamy
[link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH_rIT0juiM&list=UUZYTClx2T1of7BRZ86-8fow&index=3&feature=plcp[/link]
PPS:
There is only one "the one" and his name is Jet Li (badum dish)
Different folks, different strokes.
People do things differently than you. No relationships are the same. I think the whole "friends with benefits" scenario works for people who do not have the time or resources to commit to a serious relationship. Have I had casual fun with a friend? Yes. Have I found happiness in a serious relationship? Yes.
It just depends on the people involved.
People do things differently than you. No relationships are the same. I think the whole "friends with benefits" scenario works for people who do not have the time or resources to commit to a serious relationship. Have I had casual fun with a friend? Yes. Have I found happiness in a serious relationship? Yes.
It just depends on the people involved.
Well, I think there's something of an aura of fear surrounding marriage. Like somehow, the legal documents and the ring take any and all affection out of the relationship, making it something that you carry on just because you're married now and it'd be a hassle to break up.Sansha said:
In my case though, I'm open to the idea of marriage...but honestly, I'm not sure whether two people are meant to be together that long, and it wouldn't be right now, anyway. At the moment, I'm almost ashamed to say my priorities have changed-I no longer primarily look for relationship material, I just look to get laid, as I'm 21 and haven't done it yet. I know, I should be saving it for someone special, but I ain't naive. That person might never come, and she might not like me back. And if she did, I wouldn't want to embarass her by being a god knows how old virgin, I wouldn't want to disapoint her by being sh** in bed, and I wouldn't want to lose the chance because of low confidence. Hell, maybe I won't feel any better about myself after having sex, maybe it really isn't a big deal, but at least then I can feel like it doesn't matter.
It makes perfect sense. I've had a relationship that I've planned on lasting more than a few months. My philosophy is that it's better to enjoy a short relationship than endure pain for a longer one. The longest and most serious relationship I've ever had was seven months, the best lasted five weeks.BloatedGuppy said:
Things aren't always as simple as all that. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you should be together. Sometimes you have to stay away from someone for that persons own good. This is the lesson reality has given me.
My last relationship started with us both knowing that it would be short-term (we were both moving to different countries in 6 months time) but we decided to start dating anyway. It was the best relationship I have ever been in, and although it was sad to leave I really don't regret it, and I'm also not moping about it. Hopefully we will be friends for a long time.Mortai Gravesend said:
I agree with you to an extent, I'm not interested in 'casual' dating, but I don't think you should cut yourself off from people just because you know it has a sell-by date. Live life and grab opportunities when you can!
Because... humans? Different things work for different people.
Also because people change, and because you don't always know what you want at the start of a relationship. I was most definitely not looking for a relationship when my boyfriend first asked me out. In fact, I'd recently started university and had planned on having a couple of years of no strings attached fun, and had already started down that road. I took a chance on my boyfriend because he was a decent guy, there was a mutual attraction and we seemed to get on well. Neither of us had a clue where it was going to go, since we barely knew each other. I knew he was looking for a more serious relationship (not marriage-level stuff though) and he knew I hadn't been, but we gave it a go and after nearly two years things are going great. We've had our ups and downs but right now I see no reason why we'd break up at any point in the near future.
There's still no way in hell I'd accept a marriage proposal from him though. We're both young (me more so than him), and I am fully aware of how much we've both changed in the last two years alone. Doesn't mean we'd split up if he were to propose.
I mean wow, if your logic is that everyone should be prepared to get married after a couple of years... that kind of blows my mind. I know it works for some people, but personally I'd never be comfortable with that. There's no way I'd sign away the rest of my life based on a couple of years' experience. Maybe after ten or fifteen years
If I knew someone I'd recently got together with was seriously weighing up my potential as "marriage material" I'd run a mile. No way I'd want to be putting that much pressure on a new relationship.
But hey, different strokes for different folks. I say just to keep communicating, that is far and away the most important thing you can do in a relationship, serious or casual, to ensure things run as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Make sure everyone's on the same page and hope for the best.
Also because people change, and because you don't always know what you want at the start of a relationship. I was most definitely not looking for a relationship when my boyfriend first asked me out. In fact, I'd recently started university and had planned on having a couple of years of no strings attached fun, and had already started down that road. I took a chance on my boyfriend because he was a decent guy, there was a mutual attraction and we seemed to get on well. Neither of us had a clue where it was going to go, since we barely knew each other. I knew he was looking for a more serious relationship (not marriage-level stuff though) and he knew I hadn't been, but we gave it a go and after nearly two years things are going great. We've had our ups and downs but right now I see no reason why we'd break up at any point in the near future.
There's still no way in hell I'd accept a marriage proposal from him though. We're both young (me more so than him), and I am fully aware of how much we've both changed in the last two years alone. Doesn't mean we'd split up if he were to propose.
I mean wow, if your logic is that everyone should be prepared to get married after a couple of years... that kind of blows my mind. I know it works for some people, but personally I'd never be comfortable with that. There's no way I'd sign away the rest of my life based on a couple of years' experience. Maybe after ten or fifteen years
If I knew someone I'd recently got together with was seriously weighing up my potential as "marriage material" I'd run a mile. No way I'd want to be putting that much pressure on a new relationship.
But hey, different strokes for different folks. I say just to keep communicating, that is far and away the most important thing you can do in a relationship, serious or casual, to ensure things run as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Make sure everyone's on the same page and hope for the best.
Well, entering a relationship without any intentions of a long term thing doesn't mean that wont happen. I know someone who entered a relationship thinking it would only last a few months and now they have been together for about a year. Short term relationships can become more and they don't seem as serious. Entering a short term relationship is good for the experience and getting to know each other. Entering a long term relationship with someone you don't know is not a good idea and if you don't intend it to be a long term thing then it can still end up being one.