Worst Comebacks/Insults you've heard while playing online

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JHoFasho767

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Jul 21, 2010
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"have you hit puberty?" WTF does that matter. if thats all you can say to insult me than im smarter than you, so why does it matter?
 

Swny Nerdgasm

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Jul 31, 2010
678
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Personal favorite insult I ever got, was because i completed the objective of a sabotage match in MW2, "Dude you must be totally gay for dudes if you join sabotage to do what your supposed too." I didn't know what to say...
 

The Stonker

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Feb 26, 2009
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Your gay! I don't know what the insult behind that even is and he's just stating half of the story.
But I mostly respond by saying ,well aren't you a cute little thing?
 

hawkeye52

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Jul 17, 2009
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i was on tf2 once and they said that i should recieve the tent achievement for camping. i was teh sniper -.-

i have also been called a sand monkey on one or two occasions despite the fact i live in england and im white
 

savageoblivi0n

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Aug 7, 2008
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ok this is a bit long but a little background about the idiot in this story:

i've run into this guy off and on in gears of war for a few years because a couple of my friends keep him around for his dumbass hilarity..i could fill a thread with stories of his stupidity but i'll just give as background how he broke an xbox 360 because a couple guys told him that to play the halo 3 beta he had to put BOTH an original halo and halo 2 disc in his 360...dumbass believed it, fried his 360...laughs all around for us...

this conversation happened one night in gears..he was the host and my friends invited me in because they love hearing me verbally rip this moron a new one.. we start going back and forth and he ends up challenging me to a shotgun battle every round, and of course his host is ridiculous and he starts getting bullshit lag kills on me..which prompts the following conversaton..

dumbass: you're just mad because you can't beat me
me: umm dude the only reason you're killing me is because your connection sucks
D: oh sure blame the connection
M: everyone's been complaining about it...don't get mad because all you can afford is the big lots clearance special DSL
D: ***** i've got more money than you'll ever see
M: if that was true we wouldn't be skipping all over the screen, unless you're sucking up all your bandwidth streaming your gay porn
D: ***** you ARE the bandwidth

at this point the whole party went silent and 7 people at once said "what the fuck does that mean???"
 

Broken Boy

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Apr 10, 2010
399
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Playing multi in MW the first one. I guess the kid was maby 11 or so called me a " cock juggling thunder **** " right befor his mom slapped him in the head im guessing. After he said it all we heard was POW & then crying I LoLd very hard... ; )
 

Broken Boy

New member
Apr 10, 2010
399
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MortimerJack said:
My friend and I had just taken down a little kid's(probably about 11) helicoptor in free-roam on GTA IV, when he responded by saying that he would kill himself to get back at us by making us feel responsible for his death.

It was easy to tell by his tone that he wasn't really serious, but damn. We just couldn't tell
what to make of it. o_0
Call me cruel or demented but I would have been like go right ahead... ; )
 

JoeBattisti

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Sep 30, 2009
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There are way too many to name, haha. Let's see, some little prepubescent pillock was whining about getting killed and swearing uncontrollably, I told him to stop complaining and drop his balls. And he came up with the completely unoriginal(I've seriously heard this one about 27 times.)comeback of, "I dropped them into your mom's mouth."

I was playing Call of Duty 4, and some 30 year old guy on my team in Team Deathmatch said, while he had at least 10 less kills than me, "Start getting some kills, ******!" Being confused, since I had more kills, I said, "Are you talking to me?" He said, "Yeah! If I knew who you were I'd slit your throat!" To which I replied, "Really now... you really have nothing left in your worthless existence than to get on online video games and insult people." He said nothing.
 

Gasaraki

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Oct 15, 2009
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One time my friend and I were playing Lost Planet: Colonies in Akrid Hunter mode, some guys were being loud so I told them to shut up, to which they brilliantly replied: "No you shut up you fucking ******". This was then followed by a rather amusing 5 minutes that went like so:
Guy: You're gay (20 times in a row)
Me: Well yes I am gay, how did you know? (I'm not actually gay, I just wanted to see what he would say)
Guy: You're gay!
Me: That's not really insulting you know, I just admitted that I am in fact gay...
Guy: Shut up, ******.

On that day I could not but concede to the sheer greatness of his debating skills.
 

dreadpirateredbeard

New member
Aug 5, 2009
11
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Had a guy bragging at the end of a MW2 match which I'd joined half way through once, and I quote: "Ha Ha, Fu**en losers, We won 4 - 0!!! What a bunch of Faggots!" To which I replied "I'm so glad you were here to read the score for me, it appears you at least attended primary school and have the basics of the numerical system down, please feel free to come and read other blatantly obvious things to me whenever you want."
He then proceeded to shut his face hole, and quit the lobby.
 

JoeBattisti

New member
Sep 30, 2009
130
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dreadpirateredbeard said:
Had a guy bragging at the end of a MW2 match which I'd joined half way through once, and I quote: "Ha Ha, Fu**en losers, We won 4 - 0!!! What a bunch of Faggots!" To which I replied "I'm so glad you were here to read the score for me, it appears you at least attended primary school and have the basics of the numerical system down, please feel free to come and read other blatantly obvious things to me whenever you want."
He then proceeded to shut his face hole, and quit the lobby.
Hahaha! That's great.
 

Je Suis Ubermonkey

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Jun 10, 2010
380
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Daxter343 said:
So if "your mom" is a 'good' insult, and "your face" is a 'good' insult... what about "your mom's face"?
Even better: One of my friends was 'insulted' by someone who said "your mom's your face."
Intelligence seems to be declining rapidly where I live.
 

trophykiller

New member
Jul 23, 2010
426
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not to long ago i was playing red dead redemption, and me and another guy were the only ones in the game. so i sent him a posse invite and instead of accepting, he started swearing endlessly(made even more pathetic by the fact that he was a squeaker and wasnt even speaking a coherent sentence, just randomly swearing) while trying to kill me, and unfortunately for him, i had a high power pistol and a rolling block rifle and killed him over and over with them while he couldnt even manage a single kill.

it was hilarious, to say the least. oh, and did i mention that in the few times i could make out what he was saying, he claimed to be a navy seal, a SWAT member, and a part of the mafia. now i'm no expert, but i dont think he was telling the truth(a. too young to be a seal or swat, b. a person being a member of swat AND the mafia is highly unlikely c. he was an idiot.)


i do have a few other ones that come close, but this wins the contest because it was his response to me saying "hey, lets work together". thats why im so excited for the zombie apocolypse, then i finally get to shoot these idiots.
 

trophykiller

New member
Jul 23, 2010
426
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everywhere my friend
Je Suis Ubermonkey said:
Daxter343 said:
So if "your mom" is a 'good' insult, and "your face" is a 'good' insult... what about "your mom's face"?
Even better: One of my friends was 'insulted' by someone who said "your mom's your face."
Intelligence seems to be declining rapidly where I live.
everywhere, my friend. seriously, how can people live with that much stupidity?
 

MortimerJack

New member
Jul 15, 2010
4
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Can I call you both? :p

-Edit: To Broken Boy BTW. (Damn getting used to posting system!!! I'll use two hours of sleep in the past 36 hours as my excuse...)
 

FlaviusM

New member
Jul 30, 2010
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I don't know if that counts, but when someone starts to get smart with me or accusing me of being lucky or exploiting or whatever, I just reply "lol you're gay" or something along these lines to piss them off.

Don't really remember other people coming up with some dumb comebacks, don't pay attention to them.
 

ivan trolazo

New member
Oct 13, 2009
15
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An idiot started to tease me with my accent (I'm argentinian) and started saying "ohhh yo no hablo español" doing a really bad mexican accent, and i said "sorry, I do not speak douchebag, so can we play now?". He left the room....