Worst movie(s) you have ever seen?

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PlatinumWarlock

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Jan 4, 2010
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Surprised to see that there's no mention of "Transmorphers" yet. It may be the only movie I've ever seen that has nudity in the trailer...but none in the actual movie.

In addition to being a poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed pastiche of Cleopatra 2525, the movie falters particularly in terms of sound editing and visual effects. For one, the sound in the movie is off by about a second and a half through all but the first 10 minutes of the film. So, midway through the film when a character gets punched in the groin, you see him get hit, then crumple over...then hear the sound of him getting hit and his moaning on the floor.

The budget for special effects drops off noticeably as the movie progresses, as well. In early scenes, you'd see a character with a laser rifle firing, you'd hear the sound effect (1.5 seconds late, mind you), and you'd see a laser effect come from the end of the gun.
About a third of the way through the movie, the laser effects just stop. Same with the sound effects. You can Literally see the actors mouthing "pew pew pew" as they fire.

If that's not bad enough, 2/3 of the way through the movie, the actors' rented props start disappearing, and characters begin "shooting" the Transmorpher horde with either chunks of wood meant to represent laser guns or simply nothing at all. Actors will literally mime shooting a laser rifle, with nothing in their hands, while mouthing "pew pew pew"...which you hear a second and a half late.

I wish I could make this stuff up. What's worse? There's a SEQUEL.
 

JudgeGame

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Jan 2, 2013
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One movie that reaaaally makes me angry is Rambo III. Incredibly inferior to all the others. What pisses me off most is the sudden change of tone.

Rambo: Vietnam vet is persecuted by a small town of assholes. So-called civilized country treats its soldiers like animals. *Leave theatre crying like a child.*
Rambo II: Vietnam vet goes on solo mission to rescue American POWs, betrayed by corrupt PMC. Man who just loves his country, isn't loved back. *Leave theatre crying like it's your mother's funeral.*
Rambo III: Vietnam vet goes on solo mission to rescue best friend from USSR base and free noble Afghani people. Blows up helicopters with a tanks, defeats tanks with horses and drives off into the sunset. *Fuck communism. Fuck yeah war.*
John Rambo: Nameless old river man accompanies gung-ho mercenaries to rescue naive war relief hipsters. Kills everything, saves hipsters, finally finds the courage to go back to his family. *Leave treatre and immediately call home teary-eyed to make ammends with your father.*

I don't know what drugs they were on when they shat out the script for Rambo III but it stands as an ugly stain next to what would be a perfect trilogy.

In that respect, it seems in John Rambo they retconned Rambo III out of existence with Rambo still living in Central Asia instead of ever leaving to Afghanistan.

You might want to take my advice and skip Rambo III entirely, it's not worth the running time.
 

Froggy Slayer

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Jul 13, 2012
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Marter said:
The two Hangover movies. I don't think I've ever seen anything less enjoyable than those two films. A few have come close, but I think those are the worst.

Though, if you like them, good for you.
And in response, I would like to add that the Scorpion King 3 is the worst piece of dreck that I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon.

OT: The worst film? August Undergrounds Mordum. Because, one thing a gorn film shouldn't fucking be is dull!
 

Tropicaz

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Aug 7, 2012
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The worst I've ever sat through at the cinema was called Fighting. (Wasnt my choice of film). It was just truly, truly awful. Utterly shambolic, but not even in a funny way.
 

Kiwi the Tortoise

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Sep 24, 2012
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Flesh Gordon meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders...... just atrocious.

Followed by:
Leprechaun 4: In Space
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent
Evil Brain from Outer Space
The Devil's Rain
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Hawk the Slayer


In comparison to those, Troll 2 or La Bete are pure gold.
 

Zen Bard

Eats, Shoots and Leaves
Sep 16, 2012
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"Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn"

It...it was just awful. Even for an 80's movie.

The dialogue, the special effects, the acting...all just one giant casserole of "suck".

The best part is the bad guy named "Baal" that everyone keeps calling "Ball".

Oh, and Kelly Preston's in it. So maybe marrying John Travolta wasn't the WORST choice she ever made...
 

axlryder

victim of VR
Jul 29, 2011
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I dunno... A Serbian Film maybe?

You know, it honestly wasn't even that bad all things considered. Maybe a shitty grindhouse flick from the 70's. Something intentionally offensive yet also devoid of any artistic merit or technical skill.
 

Da Orky Man

Yeah, that's me
Apr 24, 2011
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The Wild Blue Yonder. I know the film wasn't supposed to be a basion of accurate scientif portrayals, but this thing was worse than Trek. It included such lines as 'And the astronauts dived into the liquid helium' (wearing normal swimming gear) and 'They (The astronauts) transformed themselves into pure light'.
 

ungothicdove

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Nov 30, 2007
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While perhaps not being the worst movies of all time, I once did a brutal double feature with my buddy. We watched Legion first and then Jonah Hex. Both were movies that I kneow weren't going to be great but I was hoping for some solid entertainment regardless. Nope, just agony.
 

chozo_hybrid

What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.
Jul 15, 2009
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In the Name of the King, movie based a bit off... Dungeon Siege I think it was, that was a truly awful movie. Worst part is, I saw it had a sequel in the local video store.
 

Guitarmasterx7

Day Pig
Mar 16, 2009
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Napoleon Dynamite. I went and saw it with a few friends off of someone's recommendation. None of us cracked a smile even once, over half the theater had walked out on it by the end of the film, and after it was done we pretty much all concluded we should have done the same thing.

The following Monday when we went to school, everyone had seen it and thought it was just hilarious apparently because for about a month everyone was throwing around such gut busting quotes as "gosh" and "do the chickens have large talons"

and people wonder why I didn't want to make friends in high school.

Tangentially related, this looks amazing
 

Spambot 3000

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Aug 8, 2011
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Innocence of Muslims was terrible on a level I can't even begin to describe. The only upside is that it isn't actually movie-length.
 

Blood Brain Barrier

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Nov 21, 2011
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Prince Regent said:
Melancholia, though it had some beautiful shots the film as a whole was irritatingly awful. I was glad when the world finally ended.
If that's the worst you've seen, then your movie diet must be confined to utter masterpieces. It's a very good film.

The only one that comes to mind right now is Rushmore. Incredibly annoying and pointless movie.
 

lunam-kardas

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Jul 21, 2011
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Paul Blart Mall Cop.

This was an entire movie about the saddest damn human being in existence, and it just loved torturing him because it thought it was funny.
It wasn't funny.
It was pain. Just...just pain...
 

Robot Number V

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May 15, 2012
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I know it's not particularly original, but I have to say my honest answer is Transformers 3. I mean, I've seen some bad movies before: Plan 9 From Outer Space, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Shark vs Crocasaurus....The list goes on. But those movies are at least UNINTENTIONALLY entertaining. Transformers 3 however...It's just a chore.

Runner-up: "Funny People". I don't care enough about the movie to waste time explaining why, but....Well, fuck that movie.

EDIT: OH WAIT! I also watched a shitty, "avant-garde" movie for a college class that was just 45 minutes of a single room, with the camera slowly zooming in on what turns out to be a tiny picture of the ocean on a wall. Which would have been fine (boring as fuck, but fine) if it hadn't been for the incessant humming noise in the background that grew steadily louder and higher-pitched over the course of all 45 minutes. It was like being brain-washed. Some other kids in the class reportedly hallucinated a bit. (Seeing faces in the corner of their eye, seeing the entire room as a face....)It got weird.
 

JagermanXcell

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Oct 1, 2012
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Most horror movie remakes, modern day horror movies (minus Cabin in the Woods), hell maybe all horror movies in general.

My most recent being The Amazing Spiderman. My friends actually like that garbage, it gets a bit awkward when its brought up.

Special mention to Transformer 2. I can't help but laugh at failures sometimes.