Worst way to dump a girlfriend/boyfriend

[bluepilot]

My boyfriend broke up with me by kissing my best friend and I walked in on them.

Six months later, they are still together.

Still, now I am dating a nice young doctor. I know exactly who I willNOT be introducing him to.

 

[SirDeadly]

dragging it out and making it painful

 

[Icehearted]

Leaving the state without warning? I think that was my lowest.

 

[AngelSword]

Abruptly. Say, during the first time alone after not seeing them for several months.

 

[0megaZer0]

how about getting dumped over the Facebook chat thing being told "I just decided I didn't want a relationship right now..."
-oh, and I was slightly drunk at the time too. Go figure...

 

[Uilleand]

Kicking him out of the shower...and then out of the hotel room in the middle of a road trip...was MY car, too. Walk home, wanker...

Funniest one for me was when the guy called me up after a couple weeks of not talking and asked me to meet him for coffee. He gets all teary and sobby and says "I think we need to end this."
At which point, I'm like WTF? "Umm...really? I thought this was over WEEKS ago." And he starts to cry again. *facepalm*

Worst for me? Schtupping my friend ... while I was in the same damn room.

 

[ExplosionProofTaco]

For this I quote Maddox. This is probably the worst, yet most manly way to break up with a girl.

Headbutting is probably the manliest thing ever. Not only is it useful for suicide, it's also a great way to break up with your girlfriend. For example, I couldn't find the words to tell my ex that our relationship was over, so one day while we were watching TV I headbutt her in the tits. Then I picked up my jacket and left. No awkward goodbyes, no "still friends" bullshit. Just a couple of bruised titties and a failed relationship. I rule.

 

[brainslurper]

okay you write "im breaking up with you!" on a note, then throw it into a meatgrinder, then throw your boyfreind/girlfreind in with it, and have the peice the note back together while being torn to shredds. thats about as bad as it gets...

 

[jboking]

Spoiler: I think this is about right

Best. Flowchart. Ever.

So they all come crawling back to me crying...

Now here is something I have never understood. If the relationship is dead, it's dead. Crying wont help that. I can't name a time when me and a girl have broken up that I started sobbing. Even in High School I just had to remember that at the end of the day you had to keep moving no matter what. Letting yourself slip away for someone that doesn't now or never has loved you is just stupid.

OP: Breaking up by sending them a song is pretty cold. Here's one my friend used on his girlfriend:

Oh and telling them you have a new number and giving them any one of these is pretty cold too

Spoiler

401-427-2990 Breakup Butler
803-234-8035 Breakup Butler ~ nice
817-256-9693 Breakup *****

 

[Yudas]

Haiku poem.

 

[Sad Robot]

I think women have already perfected the most brutal break up method. Its called "fucking another dude" and unfortunately it seems to be their bog standard method.

Spoiler: And one of the best

So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.
you didn't keep eating the brownies did you?
sure did
i was hungry

That's not real is it? That didn't actually happen? I think I just lost my faith in humanity.

 

[CrystaltheEchidna]

by anything written meaning texts, letters, msgs over face book and all the crap. i say if i wana do it do it the good old way-> face 2 face

 

[Puzzles]

Not sure if this is totally allowed, so I'll speak vaguely.

I knew a guy who was going to break up with his girlfriend. One sexual act later, a mess was made intentionally. Then he threw a tissue box to her and told her to get out.

I hope that was OK with the mods.

 

[CancerDog]

Uh, by cheating on your significant other and then leaving them for the person you cheated on them with.

I from experience just how badly that sucks.

This. After your dad being pretty much brain dead in the hospital from having a stroke.
She's a *****.

Just because we wish they would fucking die doesn't mean we're bitter, right?

...right?

They deserve it.