You are now the king/queen of the interenet, what is your first command.

[Faux Furry]

"Behave and be humane or beware.
In other words, no hacking (if not for Great Justice or what have you), spamming, trolling(mild pranks would be tolerated,however. Restrictions would include posting images of real life depredations of those who target those who are vulnerable and non-consenting)or hate sites of any kind or else you shall feel the full force of my ban-scepter.

Other than that, carry on."

 

[triggrhappy94]

What the hell is that! It's hillirous

Simple explanation: NASA funded a game which was made to simulate the daily events of an astronaut on a moon colony.

The game featured a text-to-speech program which people abused. The results were hilarious!

NASA really overestimated the internet.

aeiou

Oh
Youtube used to have something like that for their comments... one of the funniest weeks of my life...

John Madden

Looks like a fun game though

 

[Canid117]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

You, sir, would be banned from my kingdom.
I'd create an internet utopia where all content is free, providers of intrusive ads are burned at the stake, and trolls are hunted down and... eliminated on a live-streamed show. Each night, the person who eliminates the most trolls moves on and for every 10 times they win, they receive rule over a country's internet.

But would you ban Scootabuse?

 

[OrokuSaki]

....I would declare the Internet a sovereign nation open to all but those who would choose to regulate it. Then I would build a malware army to defend against hackers and world governments..... and whatever company investigates piracy. The internet will truly be free...... for those who pay for it. (Or have neighbors who can't secure their router.

 

[Imat]

Eliminate hacking as a possibility. This includes regular hacking, all computer viruses, and Anonymous. The last two would actually be the priority.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

my first decree,proper grammar become law, no more abbreviations or smiley faces

I like your idea, but when decreeing that everyone shall have proper grammar you should check your own first.

On topic: Were I to become King of the Internetz, I would say this:

-Trolling is punishable by termination of access.

-The Internet is for the sharing of information. This means the sharing of information, not music or movies or games. Buy your own shit. If you feel that you are in a position where you cannot pay for music... get a job. If you cannot get a job, which is a perfectly legitimate thing to say, then you can listen to it on Youtube.

-The only exception to the above law is if the piece of music, the movie, or the game in question is not available in any legitimate way where you are.

-Everyone shall have the fastest internet possible - for free

-Poking fun at things is fun. Claiming superiority as fact is not. If you are a PC gamer, you are not better than your console brethren. If you are a PS3 gamer, you are no more important than a 360 gamer. If you like Super Mario better than Halo, that is good for you. There will be no persecution because of tastes under my rule.

-All online multiplayer will be free. No DLC will cost more than $10 U.S. dollars unless the amount of content it has warrants it.

-Facebook is an excellent tool, but it shall not be used for pointless updates. I do not give a damn how many shits you took today, I do not care when you are taking a shower, I do not care one iota how mad you are at work. Unless it is something interesting, like you built an awesome new computer or you just graduated college or you found a great new song, then you shall not post it. We don't care.

-Any Facebook posts, or any other posts on any forum, shall have readable grammar and spelling. A mistake here and there is perfectly understandable and forgivable, but you should know how to read and write.

-No mention of lied-about cake, lolcatz, or cats improperly asking for cheeseburgers will ever show their ugly faces on the internet again. Ever. No excuses. None. I despise all three of those.

I think that's about it. Well, there's more, but that's just the first bit.

besides that last one this seems to sum mine up well.......
but for the record

-Any site found to have purposly put in spyware/viruses/ect will be immedietly shut down, a double offence is an ip ban from the internet until further notice...we'll make an interent court for this sort of thing.

-I will have software developed to remove the threat of seeing at a shock picture ever again........ I'll leave that to the computer wizards.

I believe that is it

 

[cookieXkiller]

No more G-fur
furry is fine but no ... some people take it too far
and a few people I know ... they get the net taken away
they can get a virus without going on the net. Dont know how they just do...

 

[rancher of monsters]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

We shall fight you to the bloody end Tyrant, FOR CELESTIA!!!!

If I was king I would do away with Youtube copyright rules, make porn free, and make Insanity Wolf my second in command.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

1. No more memes. If a joke is told by a single person more then three times, they will be sentenced to death.
2. No more ads. As King of the Internet, I will naturally have inherited all the money from the secret Internet Vault of Money that only rich people know about. I will use this to fund internet-related programs and groups as I see fit.
3. No more smileys, for they are stupid.
4. All porn will be made available only to me. Porn privileges will be restored when I have been given a working TARDIS. Get on it, NASA.

I have spoken!

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

We shall fight you to the bloody end Tyrant, FOR CELESTIA!!!!

If I was king I would do away with Youtube copyright rules, make porn free, and make Insanity Wolf my second in command.

If your porn isn't already free, you're doing something wrong. Very wrong.

 

[Hamish Durie]

my first commandment all trolls report to re-education facilities for brutal bea....re-education.

 

[Wuggy]

Thou shall use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation in thine writings. Failing to do so shall result in a permanent banishment to the depths of the real world with no access back.

 

[Aprilgold]

First decree, have at least 80% of ALL WORDS typed be mostly correct, few errors, okay.
Second Decree, respect to each other.
Third, no shitty pop music or bad movies on the internet, like fucking twilight or justin bieber, none on the inter webs.
Fourth, free internet. No questions asked, fuck no free internet.
5th, no being a dick.... Thats self explanitory.
6th, last and my favorite, no FUCKING trolling, trolling is bull shit and is done for bull shit reason by people made of bull shit by bull shit who know someone who is bull shit.

Yep, all my decrees, and I like them.

 

[sora91111]

Kill all viruses, and play any and all MMOs. For free of cours, skrew 15$ a month

 

[The Cheezy One]

Severe spelling grammar regulations will be upheld. Experts predict that 92% of current internet users will be dead within a week; I aim to make it 99%.

 

[rancher of monsters]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

We shall fight you to the bloody end Tyrant, FOR CELESTIA!!!!

If I was king I would do away with Youtube copyright rules, make porn free, and make Insanity Wolf my second in command.

If your porn isn't already free, you're doing something wrong. Very wrong.

Mine is, but every once in a while I see something that I would have to pay for that, as King, I'd simply take and force them to film a full series of.

Also, for questioning your king I'm sending Insanity Wolf to your house. You brought this on yourself.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

Since I'm king I'll need a queen....boxxy anyone?

Stop that.

my first and final decree; internet blackout.

Can't have nice things?

I wouldn't change a thing.

Teh internet is already a pretty cool guy. eh has porn and trolls and doesn't afraid of anything...

FSM bless you.

If... I were king... of the FOREEEEEEESSST- er, Internet, rather...

1. Declare the Internet as an independent macronation, with diplomatic immunity for all tourists and ambassadors, establishing all at-home users as ambassadors and mobile users as tourists. Diplomatic immunity only applies to internet prison though, so try not to get van'd!
2. Use revenue from my new porn empire to establish a Church of Discord at each Scientologist stronghold. I figure get these two together long enough, something's burning down, and honestly, I'm interested to see who wins.
3. Formally adopt the CIA as my son. I don't expect much to come of this, but I'm amused by the idea of sending letters to the CIA insisting they are grounded.

Also, bring back AnonIB and implode it. Physically.

 

[Lesd3vil]

* Publishers/seekers of Child Porn die immediately after prolonged a waterboarding torture session

They die immediately, after a prolonged waterboarding torture session?

So do they resurrect, then get tortured? or what?

OT: Yeah, mainly having everyone use proper grammar and spelling, n0 num83r5, No Capitalising Every Word, nooo eeexcessssivveeee uussseeee offff leetteerrrssss, etc