You are now the king/queen of the interenet, what is your first command.

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similar.squirrel

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Mar 28, 2009
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I'd run the whole internet in the way the Pointless Waste of Time forums are run.

If you do something fucktarded, you get kicked off.
 

aarontg

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Aug 10, 2009
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MY first decree shall be that all sites must implement nyan cat or face execution by trolls.
 

dexxyoto

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Mar 24, 2009
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Right after choosing my mate at the time to look in a room and never able to see another person, i will kill 1000s. The people will learn to fear me, i will destroy large corruptions profits with taxes to help the common man and keep the common man help so they do not behead me. I will also force real names onto everything, and make lying on the net a punishable offence. I would not covertly spy on my population, like the CIA/FBI/ECT, i would do it overtly. everyones dna on file AND everyone would get a tracking chip. No tracking Chip=no citizenship and with out that you are not a person but someone that can be hunted down like an animal on hunting park. I would also have loyalty rewards, and bonuses for achievement. Ohh the things i would do with absolute power and no one to answer too. I would also put money into education, healthcare, and other social services. AND NEVER TAKE MONEY OUT FROM POLICE OR TEACHERS. at most i would not put more money into them on a tight year.




Ya you can replace leader of the internet with leader of anything and get teh same result.... and it would all be "For Your Own Safety"
 

KurtzGallahad

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Oct 8, 2009
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The entirety of the law shall be: Do as thou wilt
Alternatively, the first law of new Hong Kong is that there shall be no laws
 

Android2137

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Feb 2, 2010
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CardinalPiggles said:
no adverts.
no spam.
no virus'.
trolling would be an offence, and a fine must be paid.
hacking would be an offence punishable by death.
all games must be given to me for extensive testing before release.
1Gb per second internet speeds for everyone.
premium accounts on every single site free of charge for me.
Sire, consider me a loyal subject! 'Tis a fine internet you propose! I humbly request to append a few additional rules:
1) Mandatory use of spellchecker and grammar checker if and when available. ...Does your browser not have a spell checker? You spelled "offense" wrong.
2) Mandatory labeling of tone if sarcastic, because people's sarcasm radar is not 100% accurate.
3) No sock puppet accounts.
 

Dafttechno

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May 19, 2010
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Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I proclaimeth my first decree. All internet advertising spammers shall be locked in a room and be forced to watch an endless repeating loop of the worst of the internet. Starting with Rebecca Black's 'Friday,' continuing with '2 Girls, 1 Cup', and so on, and so forth, until their sanity shatters like a piggy bank on new comic day.
 

CardinalPiggles

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Jun 24, 2010
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Android2137 said:
CardinalPiggles said:
no adverts.
no spam.
no virus'.
trolling would be an offence, and a fine must be paid.
hacking would be an offence punishable by death.
all games must be given to me for extensive testing before release.
1Gb per second internet speeds for everyone.
premium accounts on every single site free of charge for me.
Sire, consider me a loyal subject! 'Tis a fine internet you propose! I humbly request to append a few additional rules:
1) Mandatory use of spellchecker and grammar checker if and when available. ...Does your browser not have a spell checker? You spelled "offense" wrong.
2) Mandatory labeling of tone if sarcastic, because people's sarcasm radar is not 100% accurate.
3) No sock puppet accounts.
some fine additions sir*, you shall be my trusted right hand man.
*[sub] especially the part about sock puppet accounts [/sub]
also, I spelled offence the American way because, The Escapist thought the English way to be wrong
 

Hosker

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Aug 13, 2010
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Estocavio said:
Use decent Grammar and Punctuation.

Or you will be banned!
There are some exceptions.
Punctuation and grammar aren't proper nouns!

OT: people will understand opinions.
 

Substitute Troll

New member
Aug 29, 2010
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Anonymous will burn. I respect what they stand for. But when you go ahead and bring down PSN like that, it's not cool.

Also, spotify will use their original buissness model.
 

Auxiliary

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Feb 20, 2011
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I would crash twitter, facebook and all other social networks, hoping that linear reading will return to humanity. It took us close to a millenia to obtain and we are working hard to erase it in a matter of a few decades.
 

Sexy Street

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Sep 15, 2009
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To have my team of extremely trained killers to go and kill Santa Clause.
It's time to turn his suit really red...
 

stefman

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Jan 9, 2011
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Mandatory spell checking required for posting ANYTHING on ANY online website. Also grammar checks too. Yeah, I'm one of THOSE people.
 

EightGaugeHippo

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Apr 6, 2010
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All content put on the internet by it's original creator becomes public property.

And nobody on the Escapist is allowed to start a thread title with "Recommend me a..."