You can wipe one MOVIE of the face of the planet...

[The Youth Counselor]

Twilight, Sex and the city 1 and 2 (and the TV show) and that upcoming Justin Bieber movie.

There is mediocre, and then there is so horrible it needs to be wiped from the face of the earth, out of those Twilight is the worst however.

Watchmen.

I miss having a discussion on Watching the Detectives about how the Kitty Genovese murder and the Bernhard Goetz case completely rebooted the way America responds to crime from "Good Samaritan laws," the 911 call system, gun carrying laws, and media limitations in courtroom trials. I miss how we can chat for pages about the story's theme on cycles and circles going through time and coming full circle in a vicious cycle.

Now any day on any Watchmen board, someone comes in and shares their enlightening opinion with a new thread entitled DR. MANHATTAN IS AN EMO PUSSY! Then there are the individuals who criticize the ending because Rorschach died and Adrian lived, and which somehow spoiled the story. There also the characters with the bravery to write things such as "Alan Moore is a *****, Zack Snyder did insurmountable justice to the comic and nothing shall ever eclipse his effort. And he made it more interesting with beatiful action sequences to speed up the story that was too slow." And of course, the ones in denial who see the truth sheeple refuse to acknowledge, "That mainstream America couldn't handle a movie this smart, and by a director this visionary."

Today, I gag each time a bus passes me with an ad for Sucker Punch and I read "From Visionary Director Zack Snyder."

I don't doubt he has vision but what he sees, I don't don't find worth watching.

There should be a thread about what movie director people would have fired and ban from writing fiction of any kind.

Reminds me of some speculative fiction where the right to free speech is handled and regulated like the right to bear arms after some news pundits go too far.

It's a shame that Uwe Boll decided not to keep his words to retire if there was a petition with 1 million signatures, when it was actually going to go through.

 

[Woodsey]

Wait, what was wrong with Indy 4?

It was no more implausible than the other films; alright, I'll give you that monkey scene because it was silly (nevermind believability), but if you have that much of a problem with the nuke-fridge, maybe you shouldn't be watching Indiana Jones to begin with.

Name me one nuked fridge equivalent from the Indy trilogy.

A man cutting someone's heart out with his hand? Defeating a tank with a rock?

So he survived being catapulted half a mile in a fridge, who gives a crap? The amount of times he's been shot at and whatever else means he should be dead already.

 

[Hawk of Battle]

(yes I know this is a stupid ripoff of http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.265755-You-can-wipe-one-game-off-from-the-face-of-the-planet but bare with me please)

Right, same scenario as the aforementioned thred only this time with films.

I would probably pick Terminator Salvation, the piece of shit ruined one of my favorate series of all time.

What, and Terminator 3 DIDN'T ruin it already??

I'm surprised I haven't already seen AVP;R in here. First AVP, while not great, at least had a couple of decent fights scenes and a backstory for both races for the first time ever. AVP;R was just flat out the worst, most pointless fucking waste of time, money and effort ever put on film, that added nothing to the series and was just all round godawful with absolutely no redeeming features at all.

Same goes for the Resi films.

 

[vongola_mist_daemon]

I would pick Dragon ball Evolution, High school musical, Avatar the last air bender, Snakes on the plane and Jumper

 

[cikame]

Avatar for all this 3D bull crap.

I haven't seen it and i feel bad for choosing a potentially good film, so if Avatar didn't exist i'd choose Anger Management.

I made it 20 minutes into that dreadful movie where the same jokes are repeated hundreds of times, god damn.

 

[Alade]

I'm gonna be very original and say twilight.

 

[Vault101]

Transformers

or every fucking Disey direct-to-video seaquel ever created

 

[Rooster893]

BIODOME!

 

[WinkyTheGreat]

Also I'd like to delete Citizen Cain(sp?) So people would have to find another movie they've never watched to point to and say "That's a work of art!".

Citizen Kane is damned good. I might have to stop you from destroying that.

OT: I would say Twilight, but that wouldn't stop the books from existing. After that is The Phantom Menace, but as was said above

...there's too many Star Wars movies to deal with.

Since I can only stop one I can't stop all of the prequels. Therefore, gonna have to say The Wicker Man remake. Or really anything with Nicholas Cage... Tell you what, can I just get rid of Nicholas Cage?

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

High school musical.

 

[WanderingBiscuits]

Napoleon Dynamite. We are all better off. You are welcome.

 

[Vault101]

Avatar

Screw 3D, budgets like the GDP of a small country and wall to wall CGI. If I want to watch cartoons I will watch cartoons. I don't, I like actors. And the whole hype about how it will change cinema forever ... puke.

looks like your suffering from the effects of the "animation ghetto"

1. they are not "cartoons", cartoons are what you watch on a saturday morning, this is CGI with the intention of looking as realistic as possible, also they are blue aliens they are not ment to look like humans it was eather going to be make-up prosthetics or motion capture, which worked pretty well

2. you might find that Animated films (no not cartoons, calling them that implys they are childish and ment just for kids) can actually be just as good/better live action, in fact its a style choice, for example some of the best stuff from PIXAR is a real testament to film making and storytelling, and are succesful because they apeal not only to kids but adults

hopefully animated films can shake off the "kiddy" image and there can be more mature animated films in the west, Dreakworks certainly are improving from.....ughhh "shark-tale"

anyway I dont think AVATAR is a great film, the story is pretty standard and I simply can't take sides, both are assholes to some extent

 

[BENZOOKA]

The Golden Compass. It doesn't make justice for the book.

 

[Brainpalm]

Human Centipede...

Agreed. Oh god please make it happen.

Although just to screw with the earth I would pick The Matrix. Enjoy.

 

[Vitor Goncalves]

Indiana Jones 4, in that there's too many Star Wars movies to deal with.

Ok, I can help you deal with the Star Wars movies. We would also end a religion with it.

Besides that, Justin Bieber movie! And 2012 (I cant believe I wasted 12 pounds on that crap).

 

[Casual Shinji]

Wait, what was wrong with Indy 4?

It was no more implausible than the other films; alright, I'll give you that monkey scene because it was silly (nevermind believability), but if you have that much of a problem with the nuke-fridge, maybe you shouldn't be watching Indiana Jones to begin with.

Name me one nuked fridge equivalent from the Indy trilogy.

A man cutting someone's heart out with his hand?

Yeah well, that's mysticism. The whole reason behind that scene was to show you that dark forces were at work there. So unless the fridge was a magic fridge with dark mystical powers, this argument doesn't really hold much water.

Defeating a tank with a rock?

It's an exaguration, sure, but it's not like you couldn't block the barrel of a tank with somekind of material, causing it to missfire. Ofcourse how it happend in the movie is very unlikely, but it's not like it's completely outside the realm of physical possibillity.

So he survived being catapulted half a mile in a fridge, who gives a crap? The amount of times he's been shot at and whatever else means he should be dead already.

The reason why the fridge scene is so fucking stupid is because absolutely no aspect of it is even remotely plausible. No matter what happend in the previous movies, it was never as retarded as surving being hurled miles away be a nuclear explosion and then casually getting up. Even fucking Wolverine would have to lie down for a few minutes.

Even in the most insane situations of the Indy trilogy, Indy was always out of breath, bruised, cut up and barely standing afterwards. So even if they were exagurated, you still felt the impact it had on the guy.

 

[Bloodstain]

Twilight, Avatar and The Last Airbender.

When will people return to appreciate movies that are actually good?

 

[emion]

hmm I think its a tie between the mario movie and 2girls1cup XP

 

[Mitchell Smith]

Big Momma's house 3

 

[Woodsey]

Wait, what was wrong with Indy 4?

It was no more implausible than the other films; alright, I'll give you that monkey scene because it was silly (nevermind believability), but if you have that much of a problem with the nuke-fridge, maybe you shouldn't be watching Indiana Jones to begin with.

Name me one nuked fridge equivalent from the Indy trilogy.

A man cutting someone's heart out with his hand?

Yeah well, that's mysticism. The whole reason behind that scene was to show you that dark forces were at work there. So unless the fridge was a magic fridge with dark mystical powers, this argument doesn't really hold much water.

Defeating a tank with a rock?

It's an exaguration, sure, but it's not like you couldn't block the barrel of a tank with somekind of material, causing it to missfire. Ofcourse how it happend in the movie is very unlikely, but it's not like it's completely outside the realm of physical possibillity.

So he survived being catapulted half a mile in a fridge, who gives a crap? The amount of times he's been shot at and whatever else means he should be dead already.

The reason why the fridge scene is so fucking stupid is because absolutely no aspect of it is even remotely plausible. No matter what happend in the previous movies, it was never as retarded as surving being hurled miles away be a nuclear explosion and then casually getting up. Even fucking Wolverine would have to lie down for a few minutes.

Even in the most insane situations of the Indy trilogy, Indy was always out of breath, bruised, cut up and barely standing afterwards. So even if they were exagurated, you still felt the impact it had on the guy.

I don't know about that; he looked more beat up in Indy 4 than any other of the other 3 (probably because Ford was). And yeah, it's mysticism, it's also bullshit that requires total suspension of disbelief, as is the tank scene, but because you know what type of film it is (knowing that it's just a film to begin with), I don't see why everyone suddenly feels the need to give it the scientific treatment.

The mine cart scene in Temple of Doom has him defeat gravity.