Your Biggest "WTF" Moment in Life

[nicholaxxx]

Spoiler: long ass story

we were playing dodgeball in gym class with mats serving as cover peices, the major b***h and her friends are in the center (one team in the center, other team trying to get all the way around) all of a sudden, a dodgeball rolls behind the cover my friends and I were using, ok then I thought, whats the harm if I lob it without looking. so I lob it and apparently hit major B***h in the head, I hear a little 'ow' sound, so I look up, I apparently hit her in the head, I get back behind my cover and say 'i think i hit one of them in the head' all of a sudden BAM!!! b***h rams through the cover and starts hitting me in the head, one hand holding a dodgeball while yelling 'YOU F**KING LITTLE B***H' she looks at me as if I should be intimidated and how she just 'got me good and scared'.


I looked up at her incredibly suprised, I went 'well what the hell was that for?' she turns around te her friends and laughs as if to say 'he's not going to do that again!' I get up, walk to my friends, we laugh our asses off going 'wtf(actually words) was that about' the teacher saw and gave everyone a time out, instead of doing the logical thing and sending my assailant to the office, my friends and I are still laughing our asses off and ***** looks at us and yells (from across the gym) 'you think it's funny?!?' all of my friends reply 'YES IT IS' she asks why, we all say 'BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS ABOUT'.


She sneered and walked away, after school, b***h and her entourage come up from behind be barking threats like 'im going to get my gang friends to kick your ass' and whatnot, I just brushed it off (scared, because she DOES have minor gang connections) so, the following month, I bring my knife with me EVERYWHERE, travel in groups, and when I am alone, I clutch the knife for dear life

moral of the story: DON'T LOB SHIT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING TO GO

 

[frank220]

I was walking through the old neighborhood in Jersey City when a crackhead tries to rob me with a stapler. A STAPLER.

 

[shaboinkin]

We were standing in a hallway chilling before school starts. My friend walks in with a can on Monster in his hands. He stops between us, takes a sip, looks at the can, and says out loud "Man...this tastes like dick!"

We all just kinda all said what the f*ck and stared at him for a bit

 

[Juraz]

This one happened back in school. We were all getting changed getting ready for P.E and some Aboriginal kid (looked about 10 years old bout 4"2-4"5) came in running in stole some dudes bag then ran out of the toilets jumped the fence and across the road. Everyone just watched this kid run out of there scratching there heads WTF just happened?

 

[Guitar Gamer]

My best is when i met myself. I looked dashing by the way. There's a good story to this. I used to go to the local YMCA after school because my Mom worked and she didn't want me home alone. I made friends at the shit hole YMCA. One day, one of my friends came up to me and started talking about some random stuff and kept on calling me Fred. My name is not Fred. I eventually stopped him and he realized I was not Fred. He looked around and found Fred standing at the other side of the court. We met and we looked exactly the same down to the clothes. We even mimed each other for a couple of minutes. It was surreal.

that sounds awesome, just wondering do happen to hate this Fred or are friends with this guy because ether would be hilarious to see a person arguing with himself or if you manged to Finnish each others sentences

mine would be a long ways back when instead of bullying me my brother wasteaching me how to play gold, when I walked into his back swing and ended up with 3 stitches a inch from the right temple of me forehead

but meeting myself would definitely top that *sigh* unfortunately no one is as awesome as I am

I was with my friend, who was skateboarding in the street while I did my paper route. We're walking side by side when out of nowhere, a UPS truck comes barreling out of nowhere at around 45 MPH. We try to run different directions, crash into each other, and I run to the curb dragging him behind me as we're screaming our asses off.

Oh yeah, and one time I was snowboarding and some hot shot skier who'd been pissing people off all day crashed into me and screamed "Go fuck a chicken mcnugget!" I'm thirteen, and the dude had to be at least twenty. I just sat in the snow trying to figure out what happened.

EDIT: Just remembered a third one. I was at a concert with a few amateur bands from my age group. This dude comes up behind me and puts me in a reverse headlock. I'm assuming this is one of my friends and I laugh and say "WHo is this?" The guy lets go, looks at me, and I could see like three different stages of confusion run across his face. He goes "Oh. I thought you were someone else." And walks away. I later met my supposed twin. He likes hard rock, plays drums and sings, just like me. We dress almost exactly alike and apparently I once flirted with his girlfriend when I was at a restaurant near his neighborhood.

think of the possibilities!

 

[Marble Dragon]

Spoiler: long ass story

we were playing dodgeball in gym class with mats serving as cover peices, the major b***h and her friends are in the center (one team in the center, other team trying to get all the way around) all of a sudden, a dodgeball rolls behind the cover my friends and I were using, ok then I thought, whats the harm if I lob it without looking. so I lob it and apparently hit major B***h in the head, I hear a little 'ow' sound, so I look up, I apparently hit her in the head, I get back behind my cover and say 'i think i hit one of them in the head' all of a sudden BAM!!! b***h rams through the cover and starts hitting me in the head, one hand holding a dodgeball while yelling 'YOU F**KING LITTLE B***H' she looks at me as if I should be intimidated and how she just 'got me good and scared'.


I looked up at her incredibly suprised, I went 'well what the hell was that for?' she turns around te her friends and laughs as if to say 'he's not going to do that again!' I get up, walk to my friends, we laugh our asses off going 'wtf(actually words) was that about' the teacher saw and gave everyone a time out, instead of doing the logical thing and sending my assailant to the office, my friends and I are still laughing our asses off and ***** looks at us and yells (from across the gym) 'you think it's funny?!?' all of my friends reply 'YES IT IS' she asks why, we all say 'BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS ABOUT'.


She sneered and walked away, after school, b***h and her entourage come up from behind be barking threats like 'im going to get my gang friends to kick your ass' and whatnot, I just brushed it off (scared, because she DOES have minor gang connections) so, the following month, I bring my knife with me EVERYWHERE, travel in groups, and when I am alone, I clutch the knife for dear life

moral of the story: DON'T LOB SHIT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING TO GO

That's a kind of awesome story, in a weird way. That girl sounds strange...who in the world charges somebody when they hit her in the head with a dodgeball in P.E.? Maybe you have different dodgeballs then I always did in P.E., but they'd have to be covered in spikes or filled with acid to justify an attack like that.

It sucks that she has gang connections though. I once knew a girl who got pissed at one of my friends, and she threatened to get her gang friends to come beat my friend up. They never did, but we were all a little frightened anyway. Still, it's good to have a knife close.

 

[RootbeerJello]

Lol every single story I hear on this thread triggers another memory I forgot about. Anyway, the gang thing just reminded me of all the wannabe gangsters at my school. First and foremost was one dude, who for the purpose of this story will be referred to as Ass Monkey. Anyway, I was at a cookout, and Ass Monkey was pretty peeved that he wasn't invited. He kept knocking on the door and asking how the party was. After a few hours of being utterly ignored, Ass Monkey decided he was going to try to act cool so that we'd feel like we lost for not having him at our cookout. Apparently, Ass Monkey's idea of cool is sacrificing his lifelong dignity to bring us joy and laughter. Ass Monkey rides past on his Ripstick, flashes the west side sign, hits a tree root, falls on his face and rolls down a hill. I Actually couldn't form words and just sort of mouthed "What. the. fuck?"

 

[lizards]

this happened a couple weeks ago

this was the only girl i ever wanted to spend more than 1 night with (i still dont know why)

my parents had a party up at their lake house so i drove up their (as i do about every weekend just usally the party isnt at their house) and i saw my parent's friend's daughter and as i have the past few weekends i didnt care much she was good looking but not to the point i would say "wow look at her"

anyway i just spend the night after the party playing video games with my brother and she comes up in the conversation and he says that she was looking at me through the party for a while and at that point it didnt matter much to me but when i got to bed i thought about that for a while

the night after im just standing out by my car cause we were all going to go out to eat, im still thinking about it, and at this point i want to get with her and im trying to figure out why, so as im standing their i see her walk by and i stop leaning up against the car and take 1 step forward then i hear someone calling me and its my dad he needs me to break the lock on a drawer that he put his keys in and at first i just stand their and i look at him and then i look at her yell the word "fuck" in my head and go pull the drawer open (which wasnt locked just stuck and i dont know why the hell he would put his keys their or think i could break the lock in the first place) so i go back outside and shes gone

so here i am still wanting to just be around a girl that i dont even know her name and i dont even know where she lives and of course as my history in life shows i havent seen her since while when i was indifferent to her i saw her about every weekend

in my mind when i first saw her walking by i said "wow really, maybe my luck doesnt suck" and then at the back of my mind i heard "haha something is going to fuck you over" and sure enough something did

i typed this fast and threw in some commas and stuff so sorry if it is still hard to read

 

[TaborMallory]

I get turned down by girls for being nice. As I've posted earlier today:
"Not creepy nice, overly nice, or whipped. Just average, friendly, gentlemanly nice. Goodbye, self-esteem."

What the fuck, right?

 

[El Camarado]

I can't really decide on the biggest one, but I can narrow it down to three.

1: I stubbed my toe on a rug. Yes, really. I blame this one on me just being clumsy.

2: Part of my brain crashed (the part of my brain that causes me to remember what songs sound like, I'm just going to call it BrainTunes, go ahead and sue me Apple.) I blame the coffee, but on the bright side, I got to see the desktop of my brain (an ad for a coffee-flavored candy, with a picture of Che Guevara on the wrapper, again, I blame the coffee.)

3: I turned into a tree, an apple tree, to be specific. Massive caffeine intake beforehand, and for this one, I know that it was the several things of coffee I had, or, perhaps that combined with me just being insane to begin with. All things considered though, this was a pretty enlightening experience, but I wouldn't recommend drinking large amounts of coffee before going to bed, even if it does help you sleep (as is the case for me.)

Damn you, coffee!

Edit: Anyway, it is going to take a long time for me to live this down and convince people that I am sane, isn't it?
Edit: So, yeah, be careful about coffee and other caffeinated drinks (ie: most of them) especially at night (unless you work [or stay up] during the night.) I do hope no one ever brings this up again.

 

[Low Key]

A few years back, I was painting my room, so everything was out and I was essentially sleeping on a matress set on the floor. I had woken up to get something to drink when I rolled over and saw something leap towards me. I jumped back and hit the back of my head on the wall. Turns out a small frog had gotten into my room somehow.

If it wasn't in my room, I would have stomped the shit out of it for scaring the hell out of me, but I just picked it up and put it outside.

 

[RootbeerJello]

-Massive snip of death-

God dammit people, stop being so fucking relatable! Kind of the same thing has happened to me a few times. I remember I was at the dock where my parents keep their boat, watching my brother, and I hear a girl next to me saying to her little sister "For the umpteenth time, don't go near the water, you can't swim." I basically thought, Wow, anyone who says umpteenth in everyday speech must be wicked freaking awesome. So I introduced myself to her, and I just thought she'd say hi or something. We ended up talking about everything. We talked about Gorillaz, we talked about video games, we talked about our lives, our ideas. I told her an idea for a short book I wanted to write. She told me about a concept for a comic, and it was genuinely funny. We talked for hours on end, and she said she was usually at that dock. I never saw her again. My life's been full what-ifs like that. Not really a WTF, I'm just tired and rambly as hell.

 

[Pyre00]

Hmm. Without divulging details, I found out that something I dedicated 4 years of my life to was a joke. And by that I mean an actual joke. The "ha ha" kind.

 

[vacuumbrand]

I was walking back home one evening. It was late, and I was by myself because I had been at the movies with some friends, but the theater wasn't that far away from my house and I live in a different direction from all my friends and I didn't want to ask for a ride home, so I just decided to walk. Right as I was passing the old abandoned house next to the local basketball court, I noticed a window on the corner was broken, and there was fresh blood on several of the pieces on the ground and a trail leading off into the trees behind. Through the broken window I could see several dark figures in hoods leaning against a fence, obscured by the long shadows of the surrounding trees while the light from the streetlamp that is on the corner to the entrance of my street cast it's light in the darkness. I panicked, because I knew they had been making trouble in my neighborhood. I had to walk past these people but the blood from before had my nerves going insane... I made a run for it but I noticed the pounding footsteps behind me getting slowly closer and closer. Eventually the hoods caught up and started to beat and kick me the living hell out of me. When I finally limped home, bruised and bloody, my dad demanded to know what happened. I said I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Man, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.

 

[Rahheemme]

The only one I can remember is from last night. My friend and I were sitting in his car, about to leave, when I noticed that his car is covered in ANTS. Big-ass red ants all over the hood. They were easy to get off, but what the fuck?

 

[Titanguy654]

I was walking back home one evening. It was late, and I was by myself because I had been at the movies with some friends, but the theater wasn't that far away from my house and I live in a different direction from all my friends and I didn't want to ask for a ride home, so I just decided to walk. Right as I was passing the old abandoned house next to the local basketball court, I noticed a window on the corner was broken, and there was fresh blood on several of the pieces on the ground and a trail leading off into the trees behind. Through the broken window I could see several dark figures in hoods leaning against a fence, obscured by the long shadow of the surrounding trees while the light from the streetlamp that is on the corner to the entrance of the street off which I live. I panicked, because I knew they had been making trouble in my neighborhood. I had to walk past these people but the blood from before had my nerves going insane... I made a run for it but I noticed the pounding footsteps behind me getting slowly closer and closer. Eventually the hoods caught up and started to beat and kick me the living hell out of me. When I finally limped home, bruised and bloody, my dad demanded to know what happened. I said I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Man, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.

[http://img40.imageshack.us/i/23913942349759d8634a.jpg/]

Give me my sympathy back.

 

[manicfoot]

Probably when I walked into a club and this girl walked up to me and said "Oh.. Oh wow! You're that famous guy! Can I have your autograph?"
"Uhh what? I'm not famous"
"Yes you are! You're DEFINITELY him"
"Who?"
"That... That guy!"
"I assure you, I'm not"
"You are!"
"I'm NOT!"
"Well... can I have your autograph anyway?"
:S

 

[IamQ]

Was going to school and saw the bus coming, I stand up, wait for it to stop but it just passes by. Maybe the bus was full you think? NO, I think half of the seats on that bus weren't taken. But whatever I'll just wait for the next bus. That wasn't going to be as easy as I thought since apparently all bus drivers had some kind of hidden grudge against me, so the bus drove past me, and the one after...


I had problems convincing my teacher why I was 50 minutes late. I don't think she bought it.


Edit: There was also a time when the bus I was going to take was parking at the wrong station. So then we see the bus driving over the streets to get to our station